Minutes into our group conversation, I noticed that the green eyes of the woman next to me kept leaving my face. Curious why she was so fixated on my top, I looked down and saw my nipples poking against the thin cloth. I folded my arms over my chest, but doing so made my shirt ride up. I readjusted the garment to hide the fact that I was just wearing a thong. In an instant, despite still being sober, my own cheeks were burning.
“Oh, we need glasses!” I announced. Instead of going to the kitchen, I took a detour to my room and changed my outfit. I was comfortable enough to wear whatever around Gray… But I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea and think that I was trying to seduce her girlfriend. I returned wearing a Scopescape sweatshirt and pajama pants. The couple was in the middle of a hushed conversation, so I prepared a tray with glasses, ice cubes and a pitcher of water (Gray’s preferred chaser). Once everything was on the coffee table, I sat on the green accent chair. I hoped my seat change made it clear that I didn’t want any funny business.
For the next hour, with music in the background, our trio just hung out. Alcohol really was a social lubricant… Before tonight, my roommate’s girlfriend and I had exchanged less than twenty words in total. Yet, we were now talking and laughing like long-lost friends. After a few more drinks though, her statements pushed past the envelope of friendship. Though I was straight, it wasn’t like I had to be a rocket scientist to know when a person was flirting with me. And she wasn’t being subtle. She’d even moved to the part of the couch closest to me.
I looked at Gray who had an unfamiliar facial expression I couldn’t decipher. She didn’t look pissed off, but she didn’t look thrilled either. Her blue eyes were just on me and her girlfriend, observing us.
“So, Cassidy, Gracie and I were wondering-”
“Uh-uh,” Gray interrupted, shaking her head. “This is all you, babe.”
“I mean, I was wondering if you were up for something different tonight? Something new?” The blonde placed her hand on my clothed knee. “It’ll be a bit of a deviation from your usual proclivities-” Her pretentious-sounding words earned a snort from Gray. “But if you’re up for it, we’d love for you to have some fun with us.”
I paused. “I uh- no, I’m not interested. But thanks for the offer?” I was getting agitated. Not because of the unwanted flirting, I’d dealt with enough of that over the years, so I could take care of myself in that regard. Believe me, if the proposition hadn’t come from my roommate’s girlfriend, my responses would’ve been more heavy-handed. I wanted to avoid conflict though, so I just gently pushed the offending hand away.
“Aw, you sure? We’re a lot of fun.” The ‘sexual sales pitch’ continued. “Have you seen all your roommate’s tattoos already?” In response to the question, my eyes flitted to Gray and I pursed my lips. My facial reactions were discreet, but they weren’t imperceptible. As if she’d discovered a cheat code for her game, the blonde was now smirking. “You’re wondering if our gorgeous Grace has ink everywhere, aren’t you?”
It was hard, but I stopped myself from thinking about Gray naked. “Mm, I’m sure you guys are a freaking blast. Still a hard-no though. And actually, I’m not wondering about that,” I answered like a smart aleck. “Her hands and feet are tatt-less, so I already know the ink isn’t everywhere.” The sass in my voice caused my roommate to laugh and I grinned at her. “Well, it’s late, I should go to bed… Night, you two!”
“Hey, Cassidy, hold on-”
“Told you. You really need to learn how to take a no,” Gray rejoined the conversation. “I said it so many times already and now, you heard it directly from her… She’s not interested ’cause shocker, she’s straight.”
“Babe, so was the last girl we slept with together,” her girlfriend retorted smugly. It was even harder, but I stopped myself from thinking about Gray in a threesome. “We both know that people can be straight and curious.”
Feeling awkward, I stood up. I was intending to give the couple privacy, but before I could leave, I felt fingers around my wrist. I was pulled back. The tugging force wasn’t painful, but it was unmistakably firm. Glowering at Gray’s touchy girlfriend, I opened my mouth to curse her out. Consequences be damned.
“Whoa, what the fuck?” Gray said before I could get my ‘fighting words’ out. Her voice was infused with anger. She wasn’t shouting, but her rage was palpable. “Get out.”
My tummy sank. I shook off the undesired grip. I winced as I locked eyes with my roommate. She’d been drinking the whole night, so I wasn’t sure if she recognized I had zero interest in getting in between them. “Yeah, sorry, I just- I’ll go now-”
“Not you, Cass.”
Slightly intoxicated myself, there was some lag before I realized she was telling her girlfriend to leave Apartment 202… By the time my brain was all caught up, the two of them were already in a heated argument. I’d been a third wheel during a couple’s date before, but though that was uncomfortable, it was nothing compared to being a third wheel during a couple’s fight. I knew I should leave, but I didn’t want to risk not being around on the off chance that their verbal row turned physical.
It would’ve killed me inside if Gray got hurt.
It was already such an awkward scene for me to be present in. But another layer of strangeness was added by the fact that my sexuality was the topic of their yelling match. On repeat, Gray kept saying that I was straight, while her girlfriend kept bringing up the fact that they’d slept with ‘straight-but-curious girls’ before (individually and as a couple). The whole thing was like an un-cute version of those viral videos of parents arguing with their toddlers… An argument that culminated in my roommate breaking up with our now-unwelcome guest.
In response to getting dumped, the angry blonde told Gray (who, again, was a ten) that she’d come crawling back when she ‘needed a good fuck.’ She slammed the door on her way out. Once she was gone, I tried to get my roommate to talk to me, but she said she wanted to go to sleep. Barely fighting the impulse to make her stay, I (uselessly) bid her good night. Fully aware that sleep wasn’t going to come easy for me after the shit-storm that unfolded, I had a few more drinks alone.
If I hadn’t decided to ‘moonlight and film’ tonight, none of this would’ve ever happened.
. . .
The first thing I did when I woke up was check on Gray. She told me she was okay, but she wanted to be left alone first. Which made it impossible for me to apologize for whatever role I’d played in last night’s mess. I was desperate to explain to her that what happened wasn’t something I’d anticipated nor wanted. Furthest thing, actually… I hated that she looked so sad right now.
But she was in no mood to talk and I had to respect that. With nothing productive to do, I decided to go to the gym. I wanted to burn off all the anxious energy I’d built up when I was sleeplessly fretting and fussing in my bed.
Before I left, Gray’s twin showed up. Wordlessly, she greeted me with a kiss to the cheek. She then rushed to my roommate’s bedroom. We didn’t usually talk, but today, I wanted to ask her some questions. Her quick disappearance was understandable though.
Similar to me, checking on Gray topped her list of priorities, too.
. . .
“Hey, can I come in?” Gray asked from my bedroom’s open doorway. At once, I set aside my stuff, so she had enough space on my bed.
“Yeah, of course. Come here.” Once she was lying beside me, my brain finally stopped tweaking out. “How are you doing?”
“Better. Sorry, I couldn’t talk to you earlier. I was still cooling off.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I just- I-” She paused and I waited. My gaze moved back and forth, from her blue eyes to the blue flowers on her neck. “I don’t get angry often, but when I do, it takes me a while to calm down.”
“I get it. Are you- I mean, did you two fix things? I know last night was awkward but-”
“No. We’re over. You heard us break up, right?”
“Yeah, but I just thought maybe you patched things up today?” I stated, unsure. “We all were pretty drunk, so…”
“Cass, she crossed a line. We’re done.” She shrugged her shoulders. “And I’ve never gotten back with an ex. Not even when I was the one who got dumped, so believe me, we’re over for good.”
“Never?”
“Nope. Look, I know taking a break from a relationship can work wonders… I can see how time and space apart can be healthy for a couple. I’m pretty sure that I can even fill a book with those kinds of stories from all the wishy-washy lesbians I know. Personally though..? I don’t believe in ‘breaks’-never have. Like if I’m trying to figure out if I wanna be with someone and my first instinct is to stay away from her, then I already know the answer.”
It was such a black-and-white, all-or-nothing way of seeing things. One I never expected someone like her would endorse. “How do you just switch off your feelings like that though?”
“It’s not like we were engaged, married or whatever.”
“Still… Sure, last night was awkward, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. And you two looked happy when you first got home.”
“What do you mean?” She raised an eyebrow. “If you ask my twin, one of my biggest character flaws is how willing I am to look past red flags in exchange for great sex. But last night was still a huge deal for me,” she replied. “Mm, well, more like a dealbreaker.”
Hearing an edge in her tone, I decided to tread carefully. “I just mean that before the last part, the three of us were just hanging out. Like, trust me, I won’t hold what happened against your girlfriend ’cause-”
“Ex-girlfriend.”
“Right. I just- I don’t want you to end a relationship ’cause I turned down a threesome.” There was no point beating around the bush. And honesty had always been the best policy between us anyway. “‘Cause I’m okay, no harm done. That’s all I meant when I said it wasn’t a big deal… I’m okay.”