Zander’s POV.
When we arrived at the university, I didn’t waste even a second. I stepped out of the car quickly, my mind focused on one thing only: finding her. I already knew exactly where her dorm was.
After the divorce, I had one of my men keep tabs on her, making sure she was safe even though I had pushed her away. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but it was the only way I could feel like I still had some connection to her. Now, that information was the only thing giving me a chance to fix this.
I climbed the stairs two at a time, my boots thudding loudly against the steps. My breath came faster with each step, and my pulse pounded in my ears like a drum. When I finally reached her door, I didn’t hesitate. I knocked once, hard and firm. Then I knocked again, louder this time, my heart racing. But there was no response. The silence on the other side of the door only made the knot in my stomach tighten.
I tried the handle, desperate to see her, but it was locked. The cold metal didn’t budge under my grip, and the locked door felt like a wall between us that I couldn’t break through.
“She’s not here either,” Liam said quietly from behind me. His voice was calm, but there was a cautious edge to it, like he didn’t want to push me too far.
I spun around to face him, my frustration bubbling over like an overflowing pot. “She has to be here,” I said, my voice sharp. My jaw tightened as I tried to keep my emotions in check. “She doesn’t have anywhere else to go. Where else would she be?”
Liam shrugged, his expression unreadable. “Maybe she doesn’t want to be found,” he said simply, his words cutting through my chest like a knife.
His comment stopped me in my tracks. It hit me harder than I expected, like a slap across the face. Was it possible? Could she really not want me to find her? Could she hate me so much that she’d rather disappear than deal with me?
No. I refused to believe that. I couldn’t let myself believe it. She could hate me all she wanted. She had every right to hate me after everything I’d done to her. But no matter how much anger or pain she felt, I wasn’t going to let her disappear like this. I wasn’t going to let her leave without giving me a chance to make things right.
I turned back to the door, my hands curling into tight fists. My knuckles turned white as I stared at the locked door, the weight of my failure pressing down on me. “If she’s not here, then where the hell is she?” I muttered, my voice low but filled with frustration.
Liam hesitated, his expression thoughtful. “You don’t think… she’s gone to London, do you?” he asked cautiously, his tone betraying the worry in his voice.
London. The word hit me like a punch to the gut. I remembered her mentioning it before. She had said she wanted to leave, to get as far away from me as possible. At the time, I hadn’t taken her seriously. But now, the thought that she might have already left the city made my chest tighten so much that it hurt.
I shook my head, trying to push the thought away. “No,” I said firmly, though the words felt hollow. “She wouldn’t leave without a plan. She wouldn’t just disappear like that.”
“Are you sure about that?” Liam asked, raising an eyebrow. His tone was skeptical, but there was no malice in it. He was just asking the question I was too afraid to answer.
I glared at him, but the truth was, I didn’t have an answer to his question. I couldn’t say for sure what she would or wouldn’t do anymore. Because deep down, I wasn’t sure of anything. Everything I thought I knew about her, about us, had been shattered. I had broken our bond, and now I was left picking up the pieces, unsure of how to put them back together.
—
The drive back to the Silverfang territory felt heavy, like I was carrying a mountain on my shoulders. The silence in the car was deafening, and the weight of my mistakes pressed down on me like a storm cloud that wouldn’t go away. She wasn’t at the castle. She wasn’t at her dorm. And if she really had gone to London, there was no way of knowing when-or if-I’d ever see her again. The thought made my chest ache, the pain almost unbearable.
But no matter how hopeless it seemed, I wasn’t giving up. I couldn’t give up. I wouldn’t let this be the end.
I had broken her completely. I had pushed her away until she felt like she had no choice but to leave. I had driven her to this point with my anger, my accusations, and my inability to trust her. But even though I had caused all this pain, I couldn’t let her go-not like this, not without trying to make it right.
I would find her. No matter how far she ran, no matter how much she hated me, I would find her.
And when I did, I’d do whatever it took to fix the damage I had caused. I didn’t care how long it took or what I had to do. I wasn’t giving up on her, on us. I just hoped it wasn’t already too late.