Zander’s POV.
As Helena spoke, her voice calm and steady, my mind began to drift, no matter how hard I tried to stay focused. I couldn’t help but let my thoughts wander back to Aria.
It was like my mind didn’t know how to stay in the present when thoughts of her were always there, lurking in the background. Everything about this date, from the setup to the conversation, felt like something Aria would’ve rolled her eyes at.
I found myself comparing the two of them-Helena and Aria-and no matter how I tried to stop, the comparisons came unbidden.
Aria had never been one for formalities or carefully planned dates like this. She would’ve laughed at the idea of sitting in a perfectly trimmed garden, sipping tea and making polite conversation.
Instead, she would’ve dragged me somewhere unexpected, somewhere simple and unpretentious. Maybe a small, hidden cafe where she’d order way too much food, not caring about appearances or protocol.
She would’ve teased me for being too serious, her quick wit always catching me off guard in the best way.
I could still hear her laugh, clear and vibrant, echoing in my head as if she were right beside me. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled-genuine and full of life-was something I could never forget. It was the kind of smile that made everything else fade away, the kind that reached straight into your chest and left a mark you couldn’t erase.
“Alpha?” Helena’s voice interrupted my thoughts, pulling me abruptly back to the present. I blinked, realizing I’d been staring past her, completely lost in my memories. She was watching me closely, her head tilted slightly, curiosity evident in her expression.
“Sorry,” I said quickly, trying to cover for my distraction. “What were you saying?” My voice came out more direct than intended, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“I was asking if you’ve always wanted to be Alpha King,” she repeated, her tone light but with a hint of curiosity beneath it. I could tell she was trying to learn more about me, trying to connect.
I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. The truth wasn’t exactly simple, and I didn’t want to reveal too much. “It wasn’t about what I wanted,” I said finally, my tone measured. “Being Alpha King isn’t a choice. It’s a responsibility. It’s about what’s expected of you, and I’ve spent my entire life preparing for it.”
Helena nodded thoughtfully, her gaze steady. “I understand that,” she said, her voice soft but confident. “Leadership is a heavy burden, but it’s also an honor. Not everyone is strong enough to carry it.” Her words were meant to be kind, maybe even reassuring, but instead, they only reminded me of the weight I carried every day.
As the sun began to set, casting long shadows across the garden, I decided it was time to end the date. Helena had been nothing but kind, patient, and engaging, doing everything she could to make the day a success. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ignore the growing emptiness in my chest. The longer I sat there, the more restless I felt, and I knew continuing the date would only make it worse.
“Thank you for spending the day with me,” I said as we both rose from the table. My voice was polite, but I couldn’t bring myself to add anything more personal.
“The pleasure was mine,” Helena replied, her smile warm and genuine. “I hope I made a good impression.” Her words were spoken lightly, but there was a trace of hope in her eyes, as if she wanted me to say something more.
“You did,” I assured her, offering a small nod. “You’re… remarkable.” The compliment was true, but it felt hollow as I said it.
Her eyes lit up at my words, her smile widening, but I could tell she was waiting for something else-something deeper, perhaps a sign that I felt the same spark she was hoping for. I didn’t have it to give.
I escorted her back to the main hall, where one of my staff was already waiting to take her to her quarters. She paused at the door, her hand resting lightly on the frame as she turned to face me one last time.
“I hope this is just the beginning,” she said softly, her voice quieter now, almost hesitant.
I nodded, forcing a polite smile. “We’ll see,” I replied, my tone noncommittal.
She hesitated for a moment, her eyes searching mine as if she wanted to say more. But then, with a small nod, she turned and walked away, disappearing down the corridor.
—
As soon as she was gone, I felt the tension leave my body like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I let out a long breath and collapsed into one of the chairs in the hall, running a hand through my hair in frustration. The emptiness in my chest hadn’t gone away. If anything, it felt heavier now.
Moments later, Liam appeared, his expression unreadable as he leaned casually against the wall. “So?” he asked, his tone light but curious. “How did it go?”
“It was fine,” I said flatly, my voice devoid of enthusiasm.
“Just fine?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as if he didn’t believe me.
“She’s… everything I should want in a Luna,” I admitted, my voice quieter now. “But I don’t feel anything.” The words stung as I said them, but they were true.
Liam sighed, shaking his head slightly as he crossed his arms. “You’re not going to feel anything if you keep comparing every woman to Aria,” he said bluntly, his tone firm but not unkind.
I shot him a glare, but he didn’t back down. He never did.
“You know I’m right,” he continued, his voice unwavering. “You’re doing this to make her jealous, but what’s the point if you’re miserable the whole time?”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t.
Liam sighed again, this time more heavily, as if he was tired of repeating himself. “Look, I get it. Aria messed you up. I’m not saying she didn’t. But if you’re serious about moving on, you need to stop living in the past. Otherwise, you’re just wasting everyone’s time-including your own.”
His words stung because they were true. I hated that he could see through me so easily, that he knew exactly what I was doing even when I tried to deny it to myself.
I watched silently as Liam walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The emptiness in my chest only grew heavier, the ache of loss sharper than ever.
I had chosen Helena to prove a point, to show everyone that I was moving forward. But instead, all I’d done was remind myself of what I’d lost.
And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about Aria. She was everywhere-in my thoughts, in my memories, in every decision I made.