Carmen
Excitement.
Did every woman feel that way around Sebastian? Did they fall prey to his bad boy image hidden so cleverly underneath a beautiful package?
Sophisticated.
Muscular.
Sensuous.
He was this and much more.
I could still smell the scent of him, as if he’d permanently stained my skin.
He’d taken me to one of the most expensive hotels in Havana, the price unobtainable for ninety percent of the people living within the entire country. He was just as privileged as my father.
Then again, I would have expected nothing less from a man like Sebastian, the penthouse suite overlooking the ocean. I knew without a doubt he had every whim catered to, could only imagine how many women he’d seduced since being in our beautiful country.
As I walked out onto the balcony, the warm, humid air seemed more refreshing than normal, yet every move reminded me of his harsh punishments.
And the humiliation I’d endured.
I’d never been one to cry for any reason, hardened by what my father called life training, but tonight, tears remained close. Everything Sebastian had said about my father rang true, the accusations driving a stake into my heart. For all the love my father profoundly expressed, I knew in my heart I’d been used as a bargaining chip more than once. This moment with this man was the most egregious.
Which meant my father was desperate. Perhaps his reign was coming to a close, his true enemies seeking vengeance for all the wretched deeds that had occurred during the last several years. I wasn’t immune to those who’d threatened him and the lives of his family. The number of security detail surrounding us at all times had increased, my freedom locked down until I was nothing but a bird in a cage.
I leaned further over the iron railing, inhaling the sweet salt air, longing to be anyone else. In my bare feet, I could almost imagine walking near the cresting water, digging my toes into the sand. If only my life could be normal, as if I had any understanding of what that truly meant. For all the money and power my father had accumulated, we were no better off than prisoners of our fortune.
I couldn’t think about what my mother had endured over the years, although she enjoyed the lifestyle and the money my father’s power had brought. We were like royalty while so many others lived in poverty. I wanted out, to find my way in the world, but I knew my father would never allow that to happen.
Unless I was married to a suitable man, which meant providing more wealth to the family. I’d ignored my father’s ruthless tirades, the violence that had been a part of my life. Yes, I’d been sheltered, but I was no fool. I was well aware that my father was little more than a murderer, although his hands had never been soiled by blood or dirt. He’d never had to do a moment’s worth of manual labor in his life.
I folded my arms, shivering from the realization that my world was nothing more than a glass bubble. One day, there would be someone smashing the limited peace as well as the luxurious surroundings into bits.
I sensed his larger than life presence behind me, could smell his rich cologne, the scent all masculine and exotic. Sebastian was exactly like my father, which was why I couldn’t stand him. No matter the attraction, I wasn’t going to fall for any man with a hidden agenda, or a penchant for violence.
As he moved behind me, easing a glass of champagne in front of my face, I could only sigh. This was just one night. I could deal with it. I was much stronger than succumbing to his prowess. “Champagne.”
“I believe this is what the lady requested,” he said in a half whisper.
I accepted the glass and the second our fingers touched, a slight moan slipped past my lips. I was gutted by my reaction, trying my best to shut down every emotion as well as the building longing.
I heard his ragged breathing and wanted to smash the crystal stem against his face, but I would be a good little girl in order to be released.
“You truly think I’m a monster.”
There was certain surprise in his voice, as if he was honestly shocked I could ever think such a thing. “I think you’re a vile man who uses your power and influence to get what you want no matter the number of people you hurt or destroy.”
“Hmmm… I’ve never had anyone put it quite that way.” Sebastian moved away from me until we were almost two feet apart. He leaned over the railing, studying the night sky and the twinkling stars.
He seemed much more approachable with his jacket removed, his sleeves rolled up, the wind whipping through his hair.
“Maybe you’re right; however, I am also a businessman. Yes, some of the services I provide are for entertainment purposes, but I am very careful with what I do. If people betray me, do I make certain that will never happen again? Absolutely. That is a requirement in my world. Anything less would be considered a weakness that neither I nor my family could survive.” His words were almost haunting, but I refused to fall for his pretense or suave actions.
“You don’t trust my father at all, do you?”
He smiled, swirling the liquid in his glass. “I’ve stayed alive this long because I refuse to trust anyone. Your father is a snake, capable of backstabbing anyone to increase his stature. However, he has no understanding that if he fucks with the deal we proffered or with my family, he will die by my hands.”
“You enjoy threatening people.”
“I do what I have to do in order to keep my family safe.”
He’d mentioned the word family far too many times. “Family. Wife? Kids? I’m just the flavor of the week or the day.” I laughed harshly before taking a sip of the champagne. Another expensive seduction method.
“I have never married and bringing a child into this world with the kind of danger surrounding me wouldn’t be prudent. I have a father who rules our entire family much like yours does.”
His words were perplexing, actually giving me pause. “Let me guess, you’re the prince in training.”
He chuckled at the thought, lifting his glass in a salute. “How astute of you.”
“This life makes you happy, selling drugs?”
Now he was the one who seemed surprised that I had an inkling of what his business was comprised of, or perhaps because I realized how horrible my own father was.
“I am… as happy as I can be. Our family is involved in other businesses as well, those considered more legitimate.”
He was choosing his words carefully.
“How sad. Everyone deserves to be happy, including monsters. I would think all the women you capture and keep could provide that happiness for you.” I knew the words I said had hurt him by the way he tilted his head. Maybe taking out my anger on him wasn’t in my best interest.
“No matter what you think, Carmen, I don’t have a harem of women. I date infrequently. Relationships have been difficult.”
“Maybe you just haven’t found the right woman.” I was acting as if this was just a normal conversation between friends. He’d never be a friend.
A full minute passed by, my nerves frazzled. I hid behind the glass, taking sip after sip, lightheaded almost immediately.
But not from the liquor.
Not from fear.
From the connection we shared.