Ava
Downstairs, Kat is already dressed and waiting for me in the car.
I slip into the backseat beside her, letting out a small sigh as I settle in.
The ride to the hospital is mostly filled with silence as we roll into the streets of Chicago. I peek at Kat, worrying when I see her picking at the edge of her thumb with her fingernails.
She seems tense for some reason and as much as I want to, I decide that it’s best not to pry.
Whatever is bothering her I’m sure she’ll tell me when she’s ready.
We arrive at the hospital twenty minutes later and Kat is out of the car before the driver even comes to a full stop in the parking lot. I follow after her, struggling to keep up with her pace.
Inside the hospital smells of antiseptic, the stench hitting me the moment I step in along with the smell of iodine and latex, making my stomach churn. We make our way to the receptionist’s desk, where a blonde woman in light blue scrubs, probably in her late twenties or early thirties, greets us with a polite smile plastered on her cherry-red lips.
“How can I help you today?” She asks, fingers poised over her keyboard. She reminds me of a young Madonna as her bright blue eyes scan us with polite curiosity.
“I have an appointment with Dr. Reynolds,” Kat says.
The receptionist nods, then goes on to type something into the computer, her red lips pursed in concentration.
“Ah, yes, I can see here that Dr. Reynolds is expecting you. Shall I take you both to his office?”
I peer over at Kat who is already shaking her head.
“That won’t be necessary. She’ll stay here in the waiting room while we go in,” Kat says, her tone leaving no room for argument.
I frown but make no effort to argue with her.
When Kat finally looks at me, her dark eyes flash with something unreadable and I can’t help the tightness that forms in my throat. She’s been acting strange all day, but if this doctor visit is what she needs to go back to Kat, I know and love, then I’ll be more than happy to wait in a waiting area that smells like antiseptic and wet drugs.
I take her hand in mine, squeezing it firmly. She cracks a smile, and I think it’s the first real one she’s had all day.
I watch Kat and the receptionist disappear up the stairs, leaving me alone in the waiting area.
I let out a slow steadying breath and fall into one of the uncomfortable looking plastic chairs.
My knees bounce as I wait. The seconds turn into minutes and then the minutes into more minutes. Time stretches longer than it should, and an hour later, I’m contemplating pulling out my phone and texting Kat, but I’m quick to shut down the idea.
She wanted me to wait here so that’s what I’ll do.
It isn’t until ten minutes later, when I see the same nurse who’d taken her upstairs appear at the top of the stairs, that I break.
“Hi,” I say, once she stops in front of me, “I was wondering if Kat’s fine. She’s been in there for a while and I just wanted to make sure that everything is okay.”
The corner of her eyelids twitch before one of her perfectly crafted smiles, which I’m sure she hands out to all the patients here, appears on her face.
“Ah, yes, Mrs Petrov,” she says smoothly, her hands clasping in front of her. “She said she had to go to the bathroom after getting her test results. I thought she would be with you by now.”
Test results?
That can’t be good.
I rub my temples with my fingers, “Which bathroom did you say she went to?”
“The one at the end of the corridor upstairs.”
I don’t waste another second. With a nod of thanks, I turn on my heel and make my way up the stairs, the heels of my boots clicking against the tile floor.
When I find the bathroom, I try to push the door open, except it doesn’t budge, and instead, a familiar ‘ouch’ springs up from the other side of the door.
“Kat? Is that you?”
A sniffle and then, “Go away Ava, I’ll be out in a second”
I tighten my grip around the bathroom handle and press forward, “Kat, are you crying?”
Another sniffle.
“No, I’m not.”
She’s definitely crying.
“Kat, please open the door.”
Silence stretches between us, broken only by the occasional sniffle from her side of the door.
A few seconds later, the door slowly cracks open, and a red nose Kat peeks at me through the thin slit she created.
When she sees me, she opens the door wider allowing me to step inside.
I shut the door behind me, and turn to face her.
The bathroom is small and sterile, the overhead fluorescent light casting a harsh glow over Kat’s pale face. Her eyes are rimmed with tears, her cheeks blotchy and I can’t help but wonder how long she’s been in here, crying.
She leans against the sink, arms crossed tightly over her chest as if she’s trying to hold herself together.
I take a cautious step towards her but stop when she flinches away.
“Kat, talk to me. Did the doctor say something to make you upset?”
Her jaw clenches and as if she has no control over her body, tears start to stream from her eyes again.
“I’m pregnant.”
She says, her voice cracking as she breaks down.
I’m beside her in an instant, wrapping my arms around her as she breaks right there on the bathroom floor.
“I don’t know what to do, Ava,” she admits, fisting the fabric of my sweater. “it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t. And Ivan… oh my God, just this morning he was saying that he doesn’t think we’re ready for a child. Why am I going to tell him? oh my God what if he doesn’t want this baby”
I tighten my hold around her, feeling the weight of her fear and uncertainty settle like a heavy blanket between us. Kat has always seemed to have her life together. She escaped her abusive father and married the love of her life against all odds.
I’ve always thought that she was the kind of woman who wasn’t afraid of anything but now as I feel her feeble fingers clinging to my sweater like it’s the one thing she’s sure of in her life, it’s clear that she is afraid of something and said thing is now growing inside her.
“You don’t have to have all the answers right now,” I murmur, resting my chin on top of her head and stroking my hand up and down her back in slow, soothing motions.
“And as for Ivan, I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. He adores you and because I know he adores you, I know for a fact that he’ll want this baby just as much as you do because this baby is part of both of you, Kat.”
She sniffles, pulling back slightly to look at me, “That’s the thing, Ava. I’m not sure I want this baby.”
oh
“I mean I can’t be a mum. My mum was a disaster. A complete train wreck. When she wasn’t letting my father toss her around she was drowning herself in booze. She could barely function and…. oh God, what if I turn into her? I can’t be a mum, Ava, I just can’t”
“Yes, you can,”, I say softly, cupping her face in my hands. “You are not your mother and you never will be. Kat, you are the strongest, sweetest person I know and there is no one who’s going to be a better mum than you to this baby. No one.”
Kat blinks at me, eyes wide and glassy, “You really think so?”
I nod, “You know I do” I slip my hands from her face to her shoulders, giving them one reassuring squeeze. She sniffles again, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.
“Come on,” I say gently, taking her hand in mine “Let’s get out of here before someone starts to wonder why we’ve been hogging the bathroom for so long.”
She lets out a small, watery laugh, and for a moment, I see a glimpse of the Kat I know and love buried in her laugh “God, that would be embarrassing.”
We leave the bathroom and exit the building. The car is waiting right where we left it, the driver already in position, but as we make our way toward it, a strange sensation creeps over me.
I feel like I’m being watched.
My eyes scan the sparse parking lot, searching for something or someone out of the ordinary but everyone here seems like they are either here to see someone or are in dire need of medical attention.
Except one.
He’s standing just outside the gate and his gaze has remained fixed on me ever since Kat and I walked out of the hospital.
From this far, I can barely make out his features but when he smiles at me, my heart instantly sinks because I know who it is hidden under that trench coat.
“Ava?” Kat’s voice pulls me back. “What is it?”
I shake my head quickly, forcing a smile. “Nothing,” I say because there’s no way I can tell her who I think I just saw.
There’s no way I can tell her I think I just saw my father.