The following day, I make my way downstairs to the dining room for breakfast with Ava and Leo. Leo doesn’t have to eat, being a lycan, but he chooses to do so because he doesn’t want Ava to ever have to eat alone. I find it heartwarming that he would do something so small yet meaningful for her. I pause at the entrance, my breath catching in my throat at the sight of an unexpected figure occupying the seat beside my usual place. Even from behind, I would know that proud tilt of the head, those broad shoulders anywhere. Nickolas.
He turns at the sound of my approach, his expression as unreadable as ever, those green eyes giving nothing away. I search his face desperately for any hint that he’s missed me these past few days as fiercely as I’ve missed him, but his features remain an impassive mask. Swallowing hard, I force my leaden feet to carry me forward until I sink into my chair, the silence between us stretching taut as a bowstring.
Nickolas doesn’t speak, doesn’t even acknowledge my presence beyond that initial glance. He simply continues eating, every movement precise and controlled. Hunger finally propels me to reach for the basket of bagels, my fingers brushing against his calloused skin as we both go for the same one. That familiar spark of electricity arcs between us, raising the fine hairs on my arms.
We turn to face each other, a charged silence enveloping us as our eyes lock in a silent exchange. In that moment, it feels as though our souls are laid bare, each of us yearning to unravel the mysteries hidden behind the facade we present to the world.
My gaze pierces through the void in his eyes, a silent plea echoing in the depths of my being, begging him to let me in, to reveal the real Nickolas that lies beneath the surface. I ache to know if he feels the same longing and emptiness that gnaws at my heart in his absence.
A glimmer of emotion flickers within his eyes for a fleeting instant, igniting a spark of hope within me. But as quickly as it appears, it vanishes, leaving behind only the cold mask of indifference that shrouds his true feelings.
With a resigned sigh, I turn away, the ache in my heart growing heavier with each passing moment. Filling my plate with berries, I bury my emotions beneath a facade of indifference, silently lamenting the distance that still separates us.
“Why are you here?” The words tumble from my lips before I can stop them, a desperate plea for reassurance that he’s come for me, even though I know better than to hope.
“I have business to discuss with Uncle Leo,” he replies, his tone as flat and emotionless as ever.
“Hmm.” The sound is little more than an exhale, a feeble attempt to mask the way my heart clenches at his words. Of course, he’s not here for me. What was I thinking?
“Have you heard from Eric lately?” I ask, grasping at straws to fill the suffocating silence.
In an instant, the air crackles with tension, Nickolas’s entire body going rigid at the mention of his friend’s name.
“Why are you asking about Eric?” he demands, his voice edged with a dangerous sharpness that sends a shiver down my spine.
“Because I miss him, and-” My words are cut off as Nickolas’s hand shoots out to grasp my wrist, his grip punishingly tight as he wrenches me around to face him.
“You miss him?” he seethes, his eyes blazing with an intensity that steals my breath.
“Nick…” Leo’s warning falls on deaf ears as Nickolas hauls me bodily from my chair, dragging me from the room with lycan speed.
We come to an abrupt halt in the kitchen, the maids scattering like frightened mice at Nickolas’s bellow for them to leave. His fury rolls off him in waves, the air practically crackling with it as he rounds on me, his chest heaving.
“Nick, what-” I start, but his hand slams into the door beside my head, the wood splintering beneath the force of the blow. I flinch violently, my eyes squeezing shut as a jolt of fear lances through me.
“Open your fucking eyes,” he snarls, his face mere inches from mine. I can feel the heat of his ragged breaths fanning across my skin, smell the sharp tang of his anger mingling with that intoxicating scent that is uniquely him.
“Your Majesty, is everything alright?” I ask, my voice trembling despite my efforts to remain calm. “Did I do something wrong?”
“When was the last time you saw me?” he demands.
“Huh?” I blink at him, utterly bewildered by the seeming non-sequitur.
“Answer the damn question, Amelia!” he roars, punctuating his words with another vicious strike against the door.
“Two weeks,” I reply automatically, my mind racing to understand what could have provoked such a violent reaction.
“Two weeks,” he echoes, his lip curling in a sneer. “Then why the fuck are you asking about Eric?”
“As I said, I’m-”
“I swear to the heavens, if you say you miss him one more time, I will make sure you never see him again,” Nickolas cuts me off, his words dripping with menace.
I snap my mouth shut, my teeth sinking into my lower lip as I struggle to make sense of his outburst. What does Eric have to do with any of this?
“He’s jealous, Amelia,” Marie’s voice whispers in my mind, understanding dawning like a bolt of lightning.
“What? Impossible,” I argue, even as my heart gives a hopeful little flutter.
“Think about it,” she presses gently. “He’s completely unraveled over you saying you miss Eric. What other explanation could there be?”
I fall silent, turning Marie’s words over and over as I study Nickolas’s face, his eyes burning with an intensity I’ve never seen before. After a minute, I gather my courage and decide to take a leap of faith to test her words. Slowly, cautiously, I lift my hand to rest against the hard plane of his chest, feeling the frantic staccato of his heartbeat beneath my palm.
“I missed you more,” I confess, my gaze flickering between his chiseled chest and those green eyes, trying to gauge his reaction. Beneath my palm, I feel the frantic pounding of his heart gradually slow to a steadier rhythm, the tension draining from his body as my words sink in.
Nickolas releases a shuddering breath, the sound ragged and raw in the charged silence between us. As he stares down at me, I’m struck by the vulnerability etched into every line of his face, the naked emotion that transforms his features into something achingly beautiful and utterly foreign. In all the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him this open, this exposed.
“These past few days were the hardest of my existence,” he rasps, his normally smooth voice roughened by the intensity of his feelings. “My soul craved you with every passing second, Amelia. It was like a physical ache, a yawning emptiness that only your presence could fill.”
The words seem to catch in his throat as if the admission is being dragged from somewhere deep inside him, a place he rarely allows anyone to glimpse. I can practically feel the effort it takes for him to voice those thoughts aloud, each syllable weighted with a significance I can scarcely comprehend.
I’m stunned by his confession, hardly daring to believe that this proud, guarded man could feel so deeply for me. That the connection between us could affect him on such a profound level.
His arm bands around my waist, hauling me flush against the solid wall of his body. His scent surrounds me, rich and heady, and I can’t help but sway towards him, drawn like a moth to a flame. I trail my hands up over the hard planes of his chest to loop around the back of his neck, rising up on my tiptoes to bring our faces achingly close.
This is madness, a voice whispers in the back of my mind. He’s your enemy, the one who wants to destroy everything you are. But I can’t bring myself to care, not when his eyes are burning into mine with such naked longing, not when the heat of his body is searing me from the inside out.
Nickolas’s arm tightens around me, pulling me even closer until our bodies are flush, his breath fanning hot across my parted lips. My eyes drift shut of their own accord as I wait with bated breath for the kiss I’ve been craving since the moment we met.
The sudden clatter of a bowl hitting the floor has my eyes flying open in shock. A young maid stands frozen in the doorway, her eyes wide and face flushed a deep crimson.
“Oh! Heavens, I’m so sorry!” she gasps, spinning on her heel and fleeing from the room.
In an instant, the spell is broken. Nickolas’s arm falls away from my waist as he takes a hasty step back, putting distance between us once more. I glance around the kitchen, my teeth worrying my lower lip as I wrestle with indecision. Should I close the gap between us again or make another attempt? Or should I wait for him to make the next move?
Biting down harder, I make my choice. I take a single step forward, my heart pounding in my ears. But Nickolas merely shakes his head, his expression unreadable as he backs away, turning on his heel to stalk from the room without a backward glance.
The breath leaves my lungs in a harsh sob as I watch him go, a physical ache blossoming in my chest. That shake of his head, that simple gesture – it can only mean one thing. He regrets whatever happened between us, regrets letting things go so far.
Tears prick hot at the corners of my eyes as I realize just how foolish I’ve been. Of course he would never want to kiss me, to let whatever this is between us progress any further. I’m still his enemy, still the one whose entire existence is anathema to his goals and beliefs. For a fleeting moment, I allowed myself to think that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same soul-deep craving, the same bone-deep longing that consumes me whenever we’re apart. But I was wrong. So very wrong.
A scream of anguish and frustration tears from my throat as I throw my head back, the sound echoing off the tiled walls. Fuck! How could I have been so stupid? So naive as to think Nickolas could ever want me as more than a means to an end, a way to satisfy the demands of the mate bond? Of course, that’s all this is to him – a biological imperative, not a joining of hearts and souls.
Swiping angrily at the tears streaking down my cheeks, I turn on my heel and storm from the kitchen, making a beeline for the sanctuary of my room. I’ll spend the rest of the day holed up there, licking my wounds and trying to rebuild the tattered remnants of my pride. And I’ll vow, yet again, to guard my heart more carefully in the future – or what’s left of it, at least. Because no matter how I try to deny it, a piece of it will forever belong to Nickolas, and that terrifies me more than anything.