She tells me how much she loves me and her other kids. I was aware of her equal devotion to me. However, the pain she endures because of me motivates me to follow her instructions and refrain me from disobeying her. She took me for a check-up at the hospital. She appears really exhausted. I discreetly weep at her weary appearance, and she uses all of her earnings to support me.
Little did I know, she wasn’t doing all this for my sake.
“Sihwa, are you crying?” My mom once asked me when she sighted my puffy red eyes at the hospital.
I denied it. I didn’t want her to worry.
“Don’t cry, baby. You are all that matters to me.” She would cup my face and kiss my forehead to comfort me.
The doctor recommended to my mom to never cut my hair again. He advised her to let it grow. He said my hair will be part of my body to keep me warm. My mother stopped cutting my blonde hair and let it grow, not knowing that taking such a step will cause my downfall.
“Please…ahhh…keep it down, alpha.” My mom cried, holding up her gown, bent over a table with a pot belly alpha, hitting her from the back. It was at that moment I knew what sex was.
“Ahhh…Omega.” He pants heavily. “Spread it wide open, omega.” He pulled her hair backward and slammed into her. My mother gasped and covered her mouth. I hid under the bed and saw my mother standing backwards, arching her waist for an unknown man.
An unknown alpha.
I covered my ears, putting out my mother’s screams, and shut my eyes to stop my burning tears. The money my mother made wasn’t enough to take care of us. She sold her body for her kids to wealthy alphas from powerful homes to put up with all the expenses.
“Hide under the bed.” My mother whispered to the three of us. “Don’t come out until I say so.”
“But mama,” my sister’s husky voice interrupted in her wolf form. “What if-”
“Shush.” My mother fiercely hushed Ravenna from speaking any further. “Stay under the bed and don’t move an inch until I come back, Kay?”
We nodded.
My mother gave us her last smile and got up in her plain blue gown, which was above her knees, and left us in a tiny room, along with her empty bucket. She shut the door and locked it.
“Should we come out, Chris?” Ravenna whined quietly. “I don’t want to stay here till dark.”
“Be quiet, Ravenna.” Chris warned her. “Mama wants us to stay here so we don’t attract the neighbors. She said it’s dangerous to come out of the room. So, do as she says and sit, okay?”
She scoffs in annoyance and rests her chin on her paws.
“Are you okay, Sihwa?” Chris tugged at my left shoulder. I nodded and laid on the left side of my head on my hands placed on the floor. “Just a little hungry, waiting for mama to come first.” I lied, trying to act more normal than moody. After what I saw last night while my siblings were asleep, it still felt devastating.
“Me too.” He added, and we both kept our silence until our mother appeared. The three of us stayed under the bed. We didn’t know when it got dark. My mother woke us up with a pat on our heads, and her face halfway under the bed.
“Hey, my little wolves.” She sang sweetly to us to wake up. I yawned along with my siblings. We tiredly morphed into our human form, except for me, who couldn’t shapeshift yet. Ravenna and Chris wore their clothes and rushed to our mother, who sat down on the floor with her legs crossed and folded.
“Mama.” Ravenna yawned once more. “You got bread?”
“Yes, baby.” She smiled. “I got bread and some fish, too.” She shared the food with us and we all ate quietly. I coughed a little and saw how exhausted my mother was once again. Her black bags kept getting darker. Her once bright expressions were fading away.
“Are you alright, Sihwa?” My mother worriedly asked and got a little closer to me and her hand slowly rubbed my back downwards.
“Yes, mama.” I answered.
“Finish it, Kay? You wouldn’t have any food for the next morning. I’m working early tomorrow. When I come back, I will get a lot of books for you. Colors and drawing books to entertain yourselves from getting bored.”
“Really, mama?” Ravenna’s eyes perked up in excitement.
“Yes.” She drew me closer to her and let my head rest on her bosom. “Chris.” She called my brother.
Chris looked at her in a response. “Make sure Sihwa takes his drugs. Please, Chris.”
“I will, mama.”
The next morning, before the others woke up, my mother quietly took me aside after waking me up and squatted in front of me. I rubbed my sleeping eyes to listen to what she had to say.
“Sihwa.” She sweetly called my name with a loving smile as she touched my left cheek. “I love you.” Her eyes got a little wet. I wondered what was going on. “Whatever you saw that night, please don’t tell your siblings. Keep it between me and you, Kay?”
I nod.
“Promise me.” She whispered and leaned her forehead on mine with a long pant. I closed my eyes and agreed with her. “I promise, mom. Wouldn’t tell anyone.” I mumbled.
She laughs. “That’s my boy.” She hugged me and got up. “I’m off to work. If you feel anything, tell Chris, Kay?”
“Yes, mama.”
After my mother left, I went back to bed and slept quietly as usual. We promised our mother not to make noise inside the house. We were far too young to cater to ourselves. If the neighbors find out, we leave alone with no adult guidance. Social services will appear at our doorstep and take us away from our mother. To prevent my mother from stressing out, we often hid under the bed to keep anyone from noticing they were kids inside this room.
The place my mom rented was in a slum. There was no parlor, a dining table set or kitchen in the place we perceived as our home and territory.
It was just a room.
A wide, unfurnished and tattered room. If it weren’t for the windows and the door, it would have been a 9-story uncompleted building. My brother took care of us and stayed behind us to make sure nothing went wrong. Though he was an Omega, he was smarter and more sensitive than most people. I admire him and often get jealous of his personality and I wished I was more like him.
Nightfall. My mother was nowhere to be found. We waited for 4 days with no food and water. The ones my mother kept for us had run out.
“What do we do?” Ravenna wouldn’t stop crying. “Mama is not here. I’m hungry.” Ravenna’s cries kept getting louder and louder.