Jacky’s POV
I reached the dormitory doors, hoping to slip into bed without anyone noticing. My mind was still spinning, thoughts tangled between the truths Valerie had revealed and the unsettling fog that had settled over my memories. But just as my hand touched the door, I saw a small gathering of the other girls standing near the entrance, their eyes wide as they watched me approach.
As I neared, they stepped forward hesitantly, each holding something small and delicate in their hands. Trinkets, charms, small offerings they’d probably held onto for luck in this brutal competition. One of the girls-a thin, quiet figure I remembered seeing in the back of the line-stepped up first, extending a carved wolf figurine toward me, its eyes chipped yet fierce.
“We just… we wanted to give you these, Jacky,” she murmured, her eyes on the floor.
Another girl beside her held out a handwoven bracelet, a rough collection of leather and stones that must’ve taken hours to make. They were all doing it-holding out tiny gifts, tokens of their gratitude, as if they believed I could protect them.
I swallowed, forcing myself to keep my face neutral. “Thank you, but I don’t need these things. Truly.” I could see the confusion flash across their faces, and that’s when one of them-someone I vaguely remembered as Liana-spoke up.
“It’s just… Seline made all of us feel… small,” she whispered, her voice trembling slightly. “Like we didn’t belong here. She… bullied us. Humiliated us.” She glanced at the others, their eyes showing the same haunted shame. “But you… you took her down. None of us dared to do that.”
The intensity in their gazes unsettled me. For them, my killing Seline wasn’t just a fluke; it was a moment of reckoning, something they’d wished they could have done. And yet, I couldn’t let them look at me this way-not like a hero. Valerie’s warning echoed in my mind like a haunting melody: *The queen can’t be bigger than the king.* I remembered what had happened to Eloise, how the devotion of her followers had painted a target on her back, and the idea of these girls idolizing me left a sour taste in my mouth.
I drew in a deep breath, softening my voice. “I didn’t mean to kill her. It was an accident.”
The lie rolled off my tongue, smoother than I’d expected, but I felt a pang of guilt as I watched the hope dim in their eyes. I didn’t want them to rally behind me. I didn’t want their loyalty. This wasn’t my fight. I wanted them to see me as a coward who just got lucky.
“But you saved us,” Liana persisted, her voice barely above a whisper, though the others nodded behind her, clutching their gifts tightly.
I shook my head. “Please, just… keep these things. I don’t need any favors.” They exchanged disappointed looks but, one by one, slipped away, their figures blending into the shadows of the dormitory hall.
Finally, I was alone, but their words lingered, joining the chaotic storm of thoughts already swirling in my mind. I made my way to my bed, each step feeling heavier than the last, and collapsed onto the thin mattress, hoping the silence might soothe the ache growing in my chest.
But the quiet brought no peace. My thoughts were a snarled web, spinning between two images, two betrayals. Eloise, my sister-my brilliant, loving sister-had been so much more than I’d ever imagined. It was her influence, her scheme that had crafted the poison that nearly killed me. The sister I’d idolized had been playing a game I’d never seen, her compassion hiding something darker, something that cut far deeper than any blade. *What had happened to her?* I thought I’d known her, but now it seemed I hadn’t even glimpsed the surface.
And then there was the temple. I thought back to my conversation with Alpha Roman, the moment when I’d reached for memories of my training, of my master’s face, and found… nothing. It was as if a veil had descended over every detail, erasing not only names and faces but even the feel of the place, the sounds, the smells.
His name was… My mind faltered, leaving only a strange emptiness where his image should have been. No matter how hard I reached, his name remained just beyond my grasp, like the wisp of a dream that vanished with the morning light.
My heartbeat quickened as the weight of that realization settled in. What was happening? How could I have forgotten something so central to my life, so intrinsic to who I was?
I lay there, staring at the ceiling as questions without answers pressed down on me, heavy as stone.