When the uncertainty grew too uncomfortable, I broke the silence. “Okay, we have got to talk. Here’s what I suggest: I tell you everything I did to and with Sara. You tell me the same thing about what you did with Peter. Then you tell me what you were feeling at the time, and what you’re feeling now. Then I do the same. If we are still happy after all that, we figure out why we are so happy, and what we do next.” Erika nodded at me. Suddenly, we were both pretty afraid. Could we take this, sober and alone?
I started, describing in greater detail than I had planned what Sara and I did in the kitchen and living room. The first sign I saw that we were going to make this work was when I described Sara’s trick of the sideways sixty-nine. My wife and I have a limited telepathy of sorts, and I could see her filing away that idea for future implementation… with me. Then Erika was practically squirming in her chair while I described watching her fucking Peter, with my cock buried in Sara.
Erika took a deep breath and began her story. Sara and I had been inside for only seconds when she and Peter had climbed out of the pool. “We were just talking away, facing each other, when I… I just reached out and touched his cock. It was swinging away there, right in front of me. Peter was patient, he waited for me to make the first move. I think that was important.”
“Sara waited for me to touch her first, too,” I replied in agreement.
The rest of her story was similar to mine, though she and Peter traded oral favors instead of managing at the same time. I pushed her to fill in details of the parts I had already overseen. My cock was rumbling away in my pants as my mind demanded the sexy details.
“As for how I felt at the time…” she went on, all details exhausted, “You saw my eyes. I was on a wild high that came out of nowhere. It was like I had spontaneously dropped every restriction from our relationship and normal behavior. And it felt like you were doing the same thing at the exact same time. I could not have begun any of it, if it hadn’t felt like we both just snapped at the same time. I hope I’m right.”
“Then you and Sara went off inside and the next thing I knew, I was sucking Peter’s cock. And George,” she said, taking a deep breath, “I was fucking loving it, SO much. But my mind was totally split. Both halves were having the time of my life, though. Half of me was off in an out-of-body experience, imagining Sara sucking your cock, how hot that would be, and wondering how she would do it. It was like none of this was real.”
“But the other half of my mind was very much inside my body, reveling in Peter, what I was doing to him, and he was doing to me.”
“Well, good for that half,” I could not help but interject, “because Peter was inside your body too. I’d have hated for him to be lonely!”
We just stared at each other, then burst out laughing. A whole lot of subterranean stress and anxiety flowed out and away with that laughter.
“It was very much the same for me,” I said. “Sara is a hell of a lay, but what kept it from being wrong, wrong, all kinds of wrong, were my thoughts of you. You and Peter.” I searched for a way to crystalize my feelings for her and for myself. Erika looked at me patiently, lovingly, but apprehensively.
“Okay, first the scary, dangerous part. I felt very turned on being with Sara because… No, wait. Let’s be blunt and explicit, especially for this part. It was incredibly hot fucking Sara. She is a hot piece of ass. But was the biggest turn on was that she WASN’T YOU.” I looked at Erika closely for a moment. I saw in her eyes a little bit of hurt, a little bit of understanding, and a lot of invitation to keep going. “The body craves stimulation, and it craves variety. Fucking someone else was fan-dam-tasticly fun, right? I mean, I heard how hot things were for you with Peter!” Erika nodded, and even smiled a little. “But,” I said emphatically, “if it were just me and Sara, I’d have never touched her. I’d check her out six was to Sunday, but never touch her. If the two of us fucked on our own, especially without your knowledge, that would be a betrayal. Worse… much worse, it would risk forming emotional bonds that might interfere with or undermine OUR bond. No casual fun is worth endangering you and me.”
“Exactly,” said Erika firmly. But them doubt crept into her voice the loudest yet. The doubt was loud, her voice quiet. “But then, what were we fucking thinking?”
“I have no idea what we were thinking consciously,” I laughed. “Except maybe we just both knew that here was the first shot at some real sexual adventure in our lives in years. Somehow, we both thought it could work. I for one still do, though I’m trying to talk my way through way right now.”
Erika clearly wanted me to work it out too. She just looked at me expectantly.
I took a breath. “The second part was you. I could really tell Peter turned you on, too. I was pretty sure that the animalistic side of you was just as eager to jump Peter’s bones as mine was to leap at the sudden opportunity to bang Sara. And here’s the thing: We GAVE that opportunity to each other. I withdrew so you could fuck Peter’s brains out. You stayed back so I could go stick my cock down Sara’s throat. Hearing how loud Peter made you come turned me on, but simply controlling my jealousy to let you have the opportunity for him to make you come made me feel good.”
Erika interjected excitedly. “That makes so much sense. Aside from the animalistic pleasure, and yes Peter could deal some pleasure. When we made lov… no, your rules… when he laid the wood to me, I came as hard and as long as I ever have. But yes, ignoring the unignorable pleasure for a moment, the EMOTIONAL joy I felt at that very time came from knowing YOU were more than just enjoying yourself too.” She paused, excited that we understood this the same way. “But,” she went on, “if this was just some kind ‘gift exchange’, why was the whole thing… the whole evening–not just the actual sex, why was it So. Fucking. Hot?”
I grinned. “It was so hot, wasn’t it? Here’s the next point I’m thinking through: Competitiveness; Friendly competition.”
“What?” Erika laughed.
“Throughout the evening, both after, and especially before, I kept having moments where I’d think about Peter and go, ‘who the fuck does this dude think he is?’ Then I’d try to top him. When he stripped and hopped in the pool? I stood there in the pool, practically taunting me with his arm around my naked wife! So I had to strip even slower, full face on to all of you, and walk as brazenly slowly to the pool as my secretly wobbly legs could take me.”
“You won the dick size competition too, you know,” smiled Erika.
“Yes, I did,” I laughed smugly. “Maybe this is just guy thing, though.”
“Nope,” replied Erika merrily. “I see what you mean. There was a huge tipping point for me. When Sara suggested skinny-dipping, my brain reeled. I think it went through all the gave/take/share calculations we just went through in a single heart beat, and I knew I wanted to jump in that pool naked in front of you and Peter. Once I knew that, I was damned if I was going to let Sara get naked before me!”
“Yesss!” I replied merrily. “And I know how you love a good game. I wanted to be competitive with you, too!”
“Me?!?”
“I was pretty sure you were going to be a legend in their house after all was said and done,” I smiled. “There was no way that I was going to leave Sara’s opinion of me at, ‘Eh. He was fine.'”
“I do love a good game,” sighed Erika. “I feel so much better about all this. Thank you for articulating it.”
“I’m actually not done being terribly insightful,” I said haughtily but seriously.
“Oh?”