Calvin’s POV
Despair wasn’t a strong enough word for what I felt.
I knew Kamrynn wouldn’t forgive me. I had expected it.
But knowing something and feeling it were two different things.
Hearing her say it-hearing her mean it-was like a blade slicing straight through my chest.
She had nothing left for me.
No love. No warmth. Not even pity.
Only hatred.
I staggered down the dim hallway, the weight of her rejection pressing onto my shoulders like an unbearable force. I wasn’t even sure where I was going-I just walked, my mind a storm of emotions I couldn’t process.
Eventually, I found myself in the dining hall. It was empty, dark, the remnants of the evening’s celebration still lingering-half-empty glasses, plates scattered across the long wooden table.
I sank into a chair, resting my forearms against the surface, my fingers gripping my skull.
She’s my mate.
The words kept circling in my head, over and over, refusing to let me breathe.
Kamrynn is my mate.
My second chance mate.
Why?
Why would the Moon do this?
Was it some cruel taunt? Some divine punishment, forcing me to realize what I had lost?
Or was it… a gift?
A chance to fix things?
I didn’t know. I couldn’t know.
And that uncertainty was eating me alive.
I exhaled sharply, leaning back in my chair, my eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. My thoughts started drifting-backward, deeper, to the place where it had all gone wrong…
It was supposed to have been a perfect love story.
The mighty Alpha of the Obsidian Pack finding his destined mate.
The truth was, as much as I had loved Sherelle, our relationship had never been as perfect as I once tried to convince myself it was.
We had played our roles well-the powerful Alpha and his beautiful Luna, the couple everyone admired. But beneath the surface, there had always been something missing.
And I had ignored it.
Forced myself to ignore it.
It all started shortly after I rejected Kamrynn’s confession.
I remembered that day so clearly-the way Kamrynn had stood before me, her heart bared, her voice trembling as she told me she loved me. The way my chest had ached as I turned her down, telling her I could never see her as more than a friend.
I had felt like shit afterward. But I told myself it was for the best.
And then, just mere minutes later, I found my mate.
Sherelle.
It had shocked me-stunned me, even-but I had accepted her without hesitation. After all, wasn’t this how things were supposed to be? The mate bond was absolute. It was goddess Selene’s will.
So I threw myself into it completely.
I marked her, made her my Luna almost immediately, hosting a grand mating ceremony to celebrate our union. I had thought, this is it. This is my future. This is my happiness.
And at first, it felt like happiness.
But then…
Little things started to creep in.
Sherelle never seemed that into me.
Oh, she played the part well enough in public-always by my side, always smiling when eyes were on us. But behind closed doors, it was different.
Distant.
Indifferent.
And at first, I told myself it was just an adjustment period. That maybe she wasn’t naturally affectionate, that she needed time to warm up to me.
But then I noticed something else.
The only time she ever seemed genuinely invested in our relationship… was when Kamrynn was around.
I still remembered the first time it happened.
We had been at a Pack meeting, seated at the head of the long table. Sherelle had been sitting beside me, her posture poised, elegant, distant as usual.
Then, Kamrynn walked in.
And suddenly, Sherelle was draping herself over me, laughing at my supposed jokes, tracing her fingers along my arm.
At first, I thought I was imagining it.
But it kept happening.
Every time Kamrynn was nearby, Sherelle became a different woman. She would hold my hand, press kisses to my cheek, claim me in ways she never did when we were alone.
And the moment Kamrynn was gone?
The warmth would vanish.
I tried to ignore it. Told myself I was being paranoid. But the more I noticed it, the harder it became to unsee.
One night, I finally confronted her about it.
“Why does it feel like you only love me when Kamrynn’s watching?” I had asked, frustration boiling inside me.
Sherelle had gone stiff, her hands tightening around the silk robe she was wearing. “What are you talking about?”
I exhaled sharply, running a hand down my face. “You never touch me, Sherelle. You barely even look at me unless there’s an audience. But the moment Kamrynn walks into a room? Suddenly, you can’t keep your hands off of me.”
Her expression hardened. “Are you accusing me of something, Calvin?”
“I just want the truth.”
Her jaw clenched. “You’re imagining things.”
“Am I?”
Her nostrils flared. “You think I don’t love you?”
“I think you love the idea of me,” I snapped. “I think you love being Luna. I think you love the admiration, the power, the image. But me? I don’t think you love me at all.”
She turned away sharply, her hands trembling slightly. “This is ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
She glared at me over her shoulder. “You doubt the mate bond?”
I hesitated. “No.”
“Then stop overthinking,” she snapped before storming out of the room.
I never brought it up again.
Because I already knew the truth.
Sherelle had never truly wanted me.
Not the way I had wanted her.
And yet, I had fought for her love.
Over and over again, I had tried-bringing her gifts, taking her on trips, holding her even when she didn’t hold me back.
I had wanted to believe that if I just tried hard enough, I could make her love me.
But I never could.
Not really.
Even in our most intimate moments, she had been absent. When we made love, she had always just tolerated it-never fully present, never fully mine. It was always quick, passionless, something she just wanted to get over with.
But she had loved being Luna.
Loved the status, the parties, the extravagant outfits, the attention.
And me?
I had been insecure.
Because deep down, I had known.
I had felt it in the way she would pull away, the way she would roll her eyes when she thought I wasn’t looking, the way she never once told me she loved me unless someone else was around to hear it.
But instead of walking away, instead of questioning the mate bond, I had let it define me.
Over time, the doubt had festered in me, creeping in like rot beneath the surface.
I had spent so long trying to convince myself that Sherelle loved me, that our bond was the unshakable truth-the foundation of my future. But deep down, I had known. I had felt it.
And that knowledge had made me insecure.
It had made me question if I had ever truly mattered to her.
And then she died.
And I had needed someone to blame.
Kamrynn had been the perfect villain-right there, caught in the mess, the girl who had once loved me but could never be my mate.
I had taken every ounce of self-doubt, every shadow of insecurity, every ounce of guilt I couldn’t place, and thrown it at her feet.
I had needed to punish her. To overcompensate.
Because if Sherelle hadn’t truly loved me-if our bond had never been as deep as I had wanted to believe-then what the hell had I sacrificed everything for?
No. That wasn’t a thought I could stomach.
So I had turned all of my pain into something else-vengeance.
I had convinced myself that if I punished Kamrynn, if I made her suffer the way I had suffered, then somehow it would mean something.
That it would justify everything.
But now…
Now, sitting here, with nothing left but the shattered remains of the life I had built on lies, I realized how much of a fool’s errand it had all been.
A hollow laugh escaped me, sharp and bitter, the sound echoing off the walls of the empty dining hall.
“What a fucking idiot I’ve been,” I muttered to no one.
I had spent years-years-desperately trying to please a woman who had never truly wanted me.
And in the process, I had ruined the one person who would have walked through hell and high water for me.
Kamrynn.
The girl who had once chosen me without the mate bond.
The girl who had loved me in a way Sherelle never had.
The girl I had thrown away.
I leaned forward, gripping my head in my hands as a sharp, twisting pain coiled in my chest.
What if I had done things differently?
What if I had never accepted Sherelle?
What if I had chosen Kamrynn instead?
Would she still be smiling at me?
Would Sherelle still be alive?
Would I have avoided this entire fucking mess?
I had always believed the mate bond never lied.
That it was the one absolute truth in our world.
But looking at my life now…
Looking at everything I had destroyed because I had blindly followed it…
It was starting to seem like that wasn’t the case.
Not for me.
Not for us.
Kamrynn as a chosen mate would have been better than the mate bond ever was.
If I had chosen right back then, Sherelle would still be alive.
Kamrynn wouldn’t hate me. The curse wouldn’t exist, my people wouldn’t be suffering.
Everything would be so much better.
Fenrir stirred, his voice cutting through my thoughts and bringing up the questions I had been scared to ask myself. “I think it’s time to find out who actually killed Sherelle.”
A sharp chill ran down my spine.
I inhaled deeply. “What?”
“If Kamrynn didn’t kill Sherelle,” he repeated, “then what really happened that day?”
My heart slammed against my ribs.
“Who actually killed Sherelle?” Fenrir pressed. “What happened to the guard? And how the fuck did her body just disappear? Hell, is she even dead?!”