Luciano
“What?”
I wasn’t sure I heard her right, surely she couldn’t be bringing this up. Not now.
“Frederick,” she asked again, still looking at me, defiance in her eyes now, “Where did you keep his body? Where is he now?”
I puller away from her, still surprised. This wasn’t what I expected, at all. I wanted had her to tell me about her doubts and fears and the things that made her sad, so I could take care of them, tell her she was alright with me and make them all go away. Why couldn’t I just have fallen for a normal woman whose biggest headache was the latest episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians or finding the right dress to wear to the club.
By the fuck did it have to be Raven Gonzalez?
“Raven,” I asked slowly, “Why are you bringing this up now?”
“Can you answer me?”
“Not until I know what this is about.”
“Luciano,” her voice was stern, as though she was doing nothing but disciplining a stubborn school child, not questioning the most powerful mob boss in all of the fucking east coast. “I need your answer, and I need your honest answer, I know you have a complicated relationship with the Feds… ”
I laughed bitterly, “Complicated? I hate them and they hate me. It’s not complicated, it’s as straightforward as relationships can possibly get!”
“And yet they helped you seize power from Luca just recently didn’t they?”
I stared at her, anger brimming just beneath my skin, who the he did she think she was? “What?” I snapped, “You already got over your guilt over that? That was quick as fuck.”
She took a deep breath, placing the back of her palm on her forehead and shutting her eyes. I watched her take deep slow breaths, calming herself down.
Even when she drove me nuts, she was insanely beautiful.
“Luciano, I didn’t come here to fight over this.”
“Are you sure? Because it sounds like a fight is exactly what you are looking for.”
“Look at you,” she snapped, pointing at me, “You just got your ass kicked by some random street gang, getting into a fight so quickly should be the last thing on your mind asshole.”
I winced inside me, taking in the jab. “Ouch.”
“Damn right,” She continued. “I am not going to try to pry into your business Luciano, I never have and I never will, I just want to know what you did with Frederick, that’s all.”
“He is dead Raven.” I muttered, standing up from the couch and putting my hands in my pockets, “He is dead, gone, it doesn’t matter what I did with his body okay? Dice it, mince it, throwing it to the fucking trash, it doesn’t matter. He is gone.”
The words were hardly out of my mouth before I had realized what I was saying. She glared at me, her face turning a wild shade of red, I could almost see the steam coming out of her head.
She was furious, very furious.
“How DARE you?”
I decided to back up a bit, the situation was starting to get out of hand, “Raven, I didn’t mean it that way… ”
She was on her feet now, her hands on her waist, the safe aid box on the floor, “How the hell did you mean it then?”
“I am the fucking boss.” I said, getting up to look at her, “I answer to no one, I have no reason to explain my actions to anyone, I owe it to no fuckin body understand? I am sick of everyone and everything trying to dictate what I FUCKING DO!”
The room was silent for a while, her staring at me I’m disbelief and shock, me staring right back at her my chest heaving.
“I see, I see what you mean.” She said quietly, “I am sorry for even bordering you, Good night Luciano.” She turned around to leave.
Oh not this again, “Raven wait” I called reaching out to grab her arm which she viciously yanked away from my grip, unwilling to even look at me, “Raven it’s not like that.”
“Get the fuck away from me!”
“Come on, I didn’t mean that.. ”
She turned around, her hair whipping in the air, “Fuck you Luciano! Fuck you, you entitled, selfish asshole no one likes, fuck your little business, fuck off.”
“Raven I am sor-”
“You can finish cleaning yourself up.” She spat, her nose scrunching up in disgust, “And don’t bother coming to bed this night.”
“Raven sto-”
But she was already out of the room, stomping to the guest room and slamming the door behind her.
Great, what else was I going to wash off today. Nearly getting killed, now this.
I just couldn’t catch a break around here. I needed a coffee.
* * *
I had tried to listen through the bedroom to hear if she was sobbing, but I heard nothing, just stoic silence.
I made my way to the kitchen, fetching the coffee maker and wincing through every movement, excruciating as it was. She was just about done with the stitching, but the stinging of the disinfectant and the general ache that arose from having a fucking bullet nearly rip off you rotator cuff muscles still made raising my arm a giant pain.
I wished I had caught the son of a bitch who fired the shot. I wanted to pump him so full of lead his fucking mom wouldn’t even recognize him.
As I poured the coffee, hobbling back to the sitting room and taking sip after sip.
I could just tell her, there was nothing to hide really, nothing at all. But why did she have to know right now? What on earth was going through her mind?
Deciding that having a warm body sleeping next to me tonight was a far better option than sleeping on the cold couch, I decided to just throw in the towel.
I dumped the rest of my cold coffee in the sink, making my way to the bedroom which unsurprisingly, was locked.
“Raven.” I called, knocking, “Open up.”
“Fuck off.”
“Can you please just open the door? So we can talk? I am seriously not in the mood for this.”
“Go away Luciano.”
“Okay, that’s it.” I had had enough, “Open it or I am breaking my way in.”
I heard no reply for a few seconds, and just before I started thinking about seriously kicking the door in, I heard her walk up to the door and unlock it, opening it and making her way to the bed without even throwing me a glance.
“Thank you.” I snapped, walking into the room, my hands in my pocket.
She went back to the bed and lay in it, looking up at the ceiling and ignoring me.
“Is this what you are going to do? Look up and pretend I am not here.”
She said nothing.
“Raven, seriously?”
“What do you want me to say Luciano?”
“Anything, for fuck sake.” I snapped, the frustration building in me now almost reaching it’s explosion point, “Anything at all.”
“Do you trust me?”
I jerked back, “Excuse me? What do you mean do I trust you?
“Do you trust me Luciano?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then answer the fucking question!”
I took a deep breath. I had to tell her the truth, no matter how painful it might be. She needed the closure, this was the only way.
“I took his body to the police headquarters in New York.”
“Oh my God.” She gasped
“And I left him there.”
Raven froze, her eyes wide with shock and hurt. “You did what”
“I had no other choice Raven, it was the only thing I could do.”
She said nothing for a moment, before covering her face with her hands, her body heaving.
She was sobbing, again. I slid into the bed next to her and she flinched immediately, moving away from me.
“Leave me alone.” She sniffled.
“Raven, I am so sorry.”
She broke down into tears, covering her mouth with her hand. I reached out to hug her but she fought fiercely, pounding at my chest with closed fists. I didn’t let her go, instead pulling her into me and holdinyger tight until she stopped.
“It’s my fault.” She sobbed, “It’s my fucking fault.”
“You can’t keep blaming yourself for everything Raven.” I whispered, as she shuddered in grief, “Sometimes, bad shit happen and we have no control over it.”
If she heard me, she gave no such indication. “It’s my fault Luciano… ” She had stopped crying now, her hands had made their way around my waist, clutching me tight, “I am so sorry, I am so fucking sorry.”
I had no idea who she was apologizing to, me or Frederick, but I didn’t care. I just held her tight, patting her head until she fell asleep gently in my arms, her light breathing so soothing, I drifted off next to her, cuddling her as the world around us went dark.