Fuck.
Double fuck.
I was losing my mind.
Every goddamn time I saw her, she made me forgot everything-the plans, the problems, the world falling to shit. None of it mattered. Not when I knew she was here. Just a wall away. Probably still sleeping, naked… legs wide open and inviting. Looking at me with those dark eyes as if she wanted me to provide her salvation. As if she wanted to sin.
When she was mine. She was the only thing that felt real, and I was sinking in her.
I told myself I’d be quick.
Get the files and leave. Be responsible for once. But no, of course not. How could I, when she was lying there like that? Like some angel sent to test my already-fucking-failing sanity. Wearing my shirt-my fucking shirt-with her hair all messy and wild, curled around her like some goddamn halo. She looked so soft, so innocent, so fucking perfect, like she was made to drive me insane.
And fuck me, she did.
I’d just planned to look.
One glance, just to remind myself she was mine. That she was safe. But then looking turned into touching. A hand on her hip, a thumb running over her bare thigh, her skin warm and addictive. Before I knew it, I was buried inside her, and fuck; she fit me like she was carved just for me.
Still so tight no matter how hard I fucked her.
I told myself it’d be quick.
One round. Two, maybe.
But then she started moaning my name, all soft and broken like she couldn’t get enough, like I was the only thing she needed. And I lost it. Completely fucking lost it. I fucked her like an animal, like she was the only thing keeping me alive, and maybe she was, dammit.
I didn’t feel for anyone else. I didn’t care about anyone else. The world could burn, and I wouldn’t blink, but her? Her? I’d destroy anyone who touched her, who looked at her the wrong way, who dared to fucking breathe in her direction.
She made me feel, and I hated it. No-I love it. I love her. Dammit, I love her. I love her enough to lose my mind over her, to ruin myself for her. Fuck, I was already ruined.
She didn’t even realize it.
She just slept there now, all soft and sweet, as if she didn’t just break me into a thousand fucking pieces and put me back together again. She didn’t know she own me. That I’d tear the world apart for her with my bare hands if she asked. That she was the only thing keeping the monster inside me from devouring everything. Even her. And this change was alarming.
I loved her, dammit. And it was fucking terrifying.
“You look… sleep-deprived.”
My jaw clenched. Kyle Molotov. Another bane of my existence.
I turned to him. “No shit, Molotov. I’m not in the mood.”
That damn bastard just stared at me as if I was an insane man, and I was, he just didn’t have to specify it. After my little bird, he was the one who knew me. Like really knew me.
“What’s the status?” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. “It better be something useful.”
Kyle crossed his arms, leaning against the desk with that infuriating calm that made me want to strangle him. His dark eyes, sharp as blades, scanned me like I was a rabid dog. He wasn’t wrong. I probably looked it. Fuck, I probably was it. But that didn’t mean I needed his goddamn judgment.
“Lucius is in Sicily,” Kyle started and my jaw tightened. “We’ve confirmed his location. An estate outside Palermo. Tight security-high walls, infrared sensors, armed guards patrolling the perimeter. Getting to him won’t be easy.”
“Nothing worth doing ever is,” I shot back, the corner of my mouth twitching into something like a smile-something more like a snarl. My fingers itched to wrap around Lucius’s throat, to crush the life out of him and hear him beg for mercy he’d never fucking get.
Kyle raised an eyebrow. “You’re not exactly thinking straight right now, sir. Might want to cool off before we start planning. Unless you want your little bird waking up to news of your untimely demise.”
My fist clenched, the urge to punch the smug look off his face almost overwhelming. But I forced myself to breathe. Barely. “She’s got nothing to do with this.”
Kyle’s smirk deepened. “Doesn’t she, though?”
“Enough,” I growled. “Focus, Molotov. I want details. Weak spots. How to get in, how to kill him, and how to make sure he stays dead.”
Kyle shrugged, annoyingly unbothered. “We’ve identified one of his men. Lower-level, but close enough to know the ins and outs of the estate. He likes to drink-too much. We can grab him, make him talk. Break him if we have to.”
I nodded. “Do it. Tonight. No loose ends.”
Kyle tilted his head. “Lucius isn’t stupid. He’ll see this coming if we don’t move carefully.”
Yes. And that could cost me so much more.
I nodded already joining pieces of my plan. This needed surety. I dismissed him with my fingers. “I’ll look into it myself. And into letter Krystina received.”
He stiffened. “You read it?”
“Of course. And keep eyes on Anya. That little troublemaker can be volatile when she’s bored.”
If everything went according to the plan, the war would end. For the first time in my life, I truly wanted it to end. Not because I was bored, no, I wanted to see Lucius suffering just as Zayne suffered. And no amount of blood would replace the grief and anguish I felt and buried that day. I wanted to rip his tongue out, slice his neck, chop his limbs and watch the life in his eyes leaving.
Earlier I had nothing to lose.
But now. I had everything at stake. A woman. My world. My ptichka.