Considering the downfall of my lucky stars I experienced in less than a day, I should’ve known it was hard to escape an amused predator.
I was not ready.
Not at all.
Not really.
I fisted both sides of the chair to grab onto something.
Judas sauntered inside with his infuriating grin on display as if he owned every single particle of life in this damned universe and everyone in it. Kyle strode on his side like his general.
For a small moment, I lost control over my emotions. And despite the fear, what I felt rushing through my veins was hot anger. He deceived me. Played with me. And I hated to feel pity for a man like him. I didn’t know or care to know why he pretended to be blind, but the things he made me go through, he practically toyed with me. From the very first moment.
There was no denying that he was a criminal.
And no matter how much I screamed or cried, he didn’t have a single feeling nerve in his body.
I tried to look at the room he practically dragged me into, at Kyle’s emotionless face, or even at the blade in his hand that had a thin layer of blood. My blood.
But I couldn’t.
Something pulled at my strings and led me straight back to Judas.
I hated that something. I loathed it from the bottom of my flawed heart. Obviously, it was fear, but to me, it was something more than that. Said flawed heart pounded loudly in my ears, and I squashed it while I focused on Judas feeling equally terrified and angry.
My eyes focused on his neck, the buttons of his shirt opened till I could see his ink-covered chest, and the collar where his tie should be that was now holding both of my wrists together.
He looked dangerous, borderline amused by my struggles. I was angry and scared.
Then a thought crossed my mind as I recalled the officer’s words.
There were drugs in your system.
My eyes faltered to Kyle, wide and disbelieving. “You… you drugged me, didn’t you? That bottle of water…”
He sighed and looked at Judas. ” ,” he said in Russian, though I didn’t understand the words and then he left. The door closed behind him, and my head lowered as more tears spilt and I didn’t know why I felt pathetic.
(I’m done with this.)
Judas’s hands found my nape, the touch icy and suffocating. I shut my eyes, repulsed by the suffocating hold, feeling his breath against my skin. His grip tightened, and I could sense his satisfaction relishing in my helplessness.
He chuckled darkly the blues in his eyes sparkling to steel-grey. “Pathetic, aren’t you?” he whispered sarcastically as if proving a point.
I tried to pull away, but his grip only tightened. “Let me go.”
“Begging again,” He leaned closer, his lips brushing against my ear. I could feel his other hand trailing down my arms as I stared at him with a clenched jaw. All his nonchalant mood evaporated and his voice turned lethal by the second. “It was so easy, and none of us had to tire ourselves playing tag. But I guess women like a chase.”
I gasped as his hand slipped under my shirt. “Stop! Please, Judas, stop!” I pleaded, tears streaming down my face.
His grip on my nape tightened even more, making it hard to breathe. “Why should I?” he sneered. “You agreed to be my pawn, didn’t you?”
He forced me to look at him, his eyes dark and filled with malice. “You think anyone cares about you? You think anyone is coming to save you?” His voice was calm but his whole body was rigid as he towered over me. “You’re alone, just like you should be.”
He slowly started playing with the knots of his tie wrapped around my wrists and loosened them up and I winced feeling the lingering sting.
I struggled against his hold, but it was futile. The need to cry and beg hit me again and I shook my head. “Please- ”
He lifted my chin with two fingers and slammed his lips to my parted ones as I gasped against him, my head swirling. Every time he kissed me, he bled me, carved it with his cruelness.
I moved my head from his grasp and took in a greedy gulf of air. “What did I ever do to you?”
“Do I need a reason to want to fuck you?” He didn’t leave my vicinity, his eyes tearing through my soul.
“But I don’t want to sleep with you!”
“here’s the thing, little bird. You do not have any say in this. Never had. And never will.”
His hand moved to my throat, squeezing just enough to cut off my air supply. “You’re going to learn to obey, to submit,” he growled. “Or I can make your life a living nightmare.”
As if he hadn’t made it any less than a freaking hell.
I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness, my vision darkening at the edges. “Judas…” I gasped my voice barely a whisper.
Then, just as quickly, his grip loosened and I collapsed to the floor coughing and gasping for air. He crouched beside me, his eyes shifting from viciousness to a twisted form of mischievousness. “Oh, come now, don’t faint on me,” he chided, patting my cheek lightly. “Where’s the fun in that?”
My hands found my neck as I rubbed it harshly, trying to ease away the stinging pain. How could he be so emotionless and not realize the agony he was inflicting on me? His ways surprised me, leaving me wondering how a man could be such a borderline psychopath.
His smirk deepened as he raised a finger, and with a casual flick, tugged at my sweater, exposing my chest. I recoiled instinctively with a surge of fear and humiliation that smashed my senses. My breath hitched and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. “Name your price then. Whatever you want, I’ll lay it on your feet.”
“I am not a woman to be bought and sold,” I stated firmly, my hands trembling as I clutched my sweater tightly.
“I know that,” he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of frustration. “I have purchased only your eyes.”
“Then why are you doing this to me?” I questioned, her voice tinged with desperation.
With a sudden coldness, he leaned in close, his breath hot against my skin. “I wish I could understand it myself. Your cries please me, ptichka, and your pleas, they fucking turn me on. Whenever you are near, I feel a burning desire that I cannot quench.”
His words sent shivers down my spine, and I closed my eyes, feeling utterly hopeless.
He straightened up, spreading his arms wide as if presenting an offer. “See, I’m ready to foresee your disobedience this one time. Though it would be so easy to take you by force, it wouldn’t be fun for either of us. And fun is all I thrive for.”
I struggled to process his words. Did he hit his head when he was a child? “You threatened to rape me, you threatened my family and you’re expecting me to obey you?”
“Of course,” The playful glint never left his eyes.
He crouched down again, his face inches from mine, his breath warm against my skin. “So, here’s the deal,” he whispered, his voice a mixture of seduction and menace. “You submit to me willingly, and I’ll give you everything you desire. Resist, and I’ll have to drag your dear family into this.”
My heart pounded in my chest, and my mind raced. Was he serious? This had to be some sick joke. I wanted to scream, to fight back, but my body felt paralyzed.
He tilted his head, studying my face. “Come on now,” he said, his tone almost gentle. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. You know deep down this is what you want. Why else would you be here?”
I could laugh. Why was I here? Cause you practically kidnapped me you spawn of devil.
Shaking my head, I tried to clear the fog of confusion. “I don’t want this,” I whispered, but my voice betrayed me, trembling and weak.
I had repeated these same words for thousand times now and would repeat them again till they got embedded in his big head.
He sighed as if I were a child throwing a tantrum. “You’re just scared,” he said softly. “It’s okay to be scared. But you’ll see, once you give in, everything will be so much easier. You’ll be happy.”
I looked into his eyes, resembling the icy blue of a winter sky. Happy? Losing my dignity to him would make me happy. In what context could that ever be true? My thoughts spun in confusion and anger.
But I kept my mouth shut. “You’re not thinking clearly,” he murmured. “I’ll make sure your family stays safe and financially stable. Isn’t that what you want?”
His words were like poison, seeping into my mind. “You act like I’m the enemy here,” he continued, his tone patronizing. “But I’m the one offering you a way out. Don’t you see? I’m trying to help you.”
Help? This was his idea of help? He was twisting everything, making it seem like I was the unreasonable one.
“You think you have control, that you can just walk away from this,” he said, his voice low and menacing. “But you can’t. You’re already mine, whether you accept it or not.”
I clenched my fists, trying to hold onto some semblance of strength. “You don’t understand,” he whispered, his breath warm against my ear. “You think you can resist, but all you’re doing is making it harder on yourself. Why fight when you can have everything you want, everything you need, by just giving in?”
His eyes bored into mine, cold and unfeeling, yet there was an undeniable force that left me paralyzed. Giving in? If I gave in, my mother would no longer struggle. I would finally see a real smile on her face, not just a facade. I wish it was that simple. But it was not.
I gave in years ago when my father died.
I gave in when our family went bankrupt.
I gave in even when I could do nothing but watch my mother cry herself to sleep.
I’d have given in so many times that it felt like I was already broken beyond repair.
“You’re so stubborn,” he murmured, and I raised my head. His face blurred through my tears, and I realized I was about to cry again. His words pierced a part of me I thought was invincible. I always believed I was strong, but in this moment, I felt utterly pathetic and heartbreakingly vulnerable.
I felt small, defeated, and incredibly alone.
It was as if all my efforts, all my silent battles, were suddenly exposed, raw and aching.
I thought I had to be strong. I had to be strong for everyone. But right now, I felt so weak, so… lost.
I shut my eyes. Stop. Stop. Stop.
“Think about how much better their lives will be,” he whispered taking my ear lobe between his teeth. “Isn’t that worth a little sacrifice on your part?”
Emotions wavered a sharp sting where my heart was supposed to be. I could feel myself crumbling, piece by piece.
Hands moved underneath my sweater, and large and rough palms smouldered my skin. “Every time you take my cock in your tight virgin cunt,” he whispered, his voice low and sultry, fingers pulled the strap of my bra. “I can give you whatever amount you want.”
My breath hitched as his hand found the underside of my bust, pulling me closer. His touch was electric, igniting a fire deep within me. I hated myself for the way my body responded to him, the way my pulse quickened and my skin tingled with anticipation.
He leaned in, his lips grazing the shell of my ear. “Just consider,” he breathed, “of all the things I could do for you… for them.” His other hand slid up my thigh with a demanding touch. I could feel the heat of his body pressing against mine, his desire evident in every movement. And I knew he’d stop at nothing to ruin me.
I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the confusion and the pain that was consuming me. His lips found my neck, planting searing kisses along the sensitive skin. I whimpered softly, unable to suppress the sound as his mouth moved lower, his hands exploring every inch of me. I felt exposed. Naked.
He pulled back just enough to look into my eyes, his gaze dark and hungry. “You want this,” he said, his voice a seductive growl. “You need this.”
I knew he was right.
But was my dignity truly worth the smile on my mother’s face?
Of course, it was.
But would I be able to live with this?
Definitely not.
I had spent my life doing everything for everyone else.
I didn’t know if I could do this. There was no escape.
I always had to be the responsible one, the one who sacrificed. Never wanting anything for me.
His grip tightened on my skin. But what he was asking of me, I couldn’t give it to him. My virginity.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and he brushed it away gently with his thumb. The tenderness in his touch was a cruel mockery of the darkness in his eyes. “I need some time,” I whispered, feeling him move his palm to cup my breast over my bra.
His eyes narrowed, and a chilling smile curved his lips. “Time? You think time will change anything? You need to understand something, sweetheart. This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what I want. And I want you. Now.”
Panic flared in my chest, but I forced myself to stay calm. Maybe, just maybe, if I played along, I could find a way out. But for now, all I could do was try to survive.
“Okay,” I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady. “Okay, just… just give me a week, please.”
His hands stilled, and I flinched as he pulled away and stared at me. I swallowed hard. Trembling under his reluctant gaze. Greys swirled, storms brewed, blues spread.
When I thought he’d refuse, he surprised me as a chilling smirk curved his lips. And he pulled away completely, standing to his full height, looking down at me like a devil he was. “Four days. That’s all you’ll get. Fifth night, I want you here, we’ll have dinner, I’ll bring you flowers,” Tilting his head, his hungry gaze stopped on my lips. “And you, little bird, will be the wine.”