“Your mouth,” His thumb pressed against my lips as I sucked in a deep breath. “Around my cock.”
When I was thirteen, my mother taught me a thing or two about society. At that time it was just blabbers of hers and nothing more than that.
Stay away from trouble.
Do not bring boys home.
No late night outs.
Never associate yourself with people who view you as nothing more than just dust on their shoes.
The first three I could understand.
The man in front of me viewed me as nothing more than just dust under his shoes. Maybe I looked easy to him. Desperate for money he thought I would sell my dignity for his pleasure. I had been called worse in my life- Cheater, teacher’s pet, desperate, poor, fat, but never a prostitute.
Anger simmered like hot lava. “I’m sorry if I gave the wrong impression, sir. But I have to refuse.” Defiance shone bright in my eyes.
The maniac bit back a grin.
And I held myself back from punching him in the face and knocking him down though I knew I’d hurt myself in the process, but at least it would be worth it and make him ugly so that his nasty mouth would compete with his ugly face too.
To my surprise, he didn’t look unfazed in the slightest. His eyes still shut and his fingers playing with my hair. “You’re refusing money.”
Red crept up my neck despite my attempts to remain unaffected. I pulled away, letting the strand of hair in his hair pull away and his fingers remained in the air.
I wiped my hands on my jeans, grounding myself with a shaky breath. Tears stung my eyes. “I may look desperate for this job,” My voice trembling, “but I am not a prostitute. Excuse me.”
Without looking back, I walked away, leaving him behind. His threats and demands had pushed me to the brink, but I refused to break. Each step felt heavy with the weight of his shamelessness, yet a spark of resilience burned within me.
His money would not define me.
When I jogged down the stairs, my lips started quivering. I needed to get away from this place. From him.
When I opened the door, the chilled breeze brushed against my face and I let a tear roll down. Again, I let my emotions get the best of me. I let a man like him, who was arrogant and dangerous thought of me as a plaything.
******
“My brother would’ve loved you, you know. He’s so into photography and all,” I muttered, ignoring the tightness in my stomach as I forced a smile. I didn’t know how I managed to text Ivan after running off the mansion. It took everything in me to not cry and wept in Ivan’s arms when he asked why my eyes were red. I had no answer. The words echoed in my head. Disgusting and vile.
Who did he think he was? A lunatic I should’ve stayed away from. I decided right then: tomorrow, I’d end this. I’d resign and file a harassment case against him. Maybe then that maniac would learn that money couldn’t buy a person.
And to make it worse, I couldn’t stop thinking.
Ivan smiled back, running a hand through his hair. And I couldn’t help but wonder why more people couldn’t be like him-so sweet, so kind, so considerate. Unlike certain someone.
He took a sip of his drink. “I would love to meet him. What’s his name?”
A smile crept onto my lips. “Mikhail.” I missed him dearly. Though he was eight years younger than me, I loved him like my own child. Mikhail was the sweetest boy, a replica of Papa and the kindest person I knew.
After Papa died, Mikhail took care of Mama and me in his own little ways. I remembered him staying up all night to help me study, and making tea for Mama, carefully measuring the sugar like it was the most important task in the world. Despite Mama insisting he focus on his studies, he always found a way to show his love and care. Thinking of him brought a mix of warmth and longing, reminding me how far they were from me.
“My mother’s a sculpture artist though she prefers painting more. She’s also barely at home, the seminars and brand deals and all. But I am happy at least she’s following her heart.”
“Any siblings?” I asked curiously.
“Older brother.” Ivan rolled his eyes as if he was pissed at his brother. “Businessman nothing much. I hate him.” I chuckled.
We talked for almost an hour, sharing about our families and interests. Ivan opened up about the pressure he felt to take business classes alongside his mechanics courses to prepare for inheriting his family’s business.
“I just want to work with my hands,” he sighed with frustration. “Fixing cars, building things-that’s where I find peace. But my family doesn’t get it.”
It startled me to learn that Ivan came from a wealthy, influential family. Despite this, he didn’t like to talk about them much. He wanted to live a normal life.
I could see the tension ease from his shoulders as he shared his dreams. “I remember once,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips, “I skipped a big family event just to work on this old motorcycle. My brother was furious, but it was the best day I’d had in years.”
After eating our dinner, Ivan insisted on dropping me off since it was late.
He dropped me off a few blocks away from the dorms since the area was usually closed at night for any vehicle. And also I needed a breath of air to cool my head. Whatever happened today had taken a toll on me and I didn’t know what to expect anymore.
“I had a lot of fun.” He smiled as I started to unbuckle the seat belt. I took a deep breath and turned towards him with a smile of my own.
“Me too.” I blushed seeing the intense look in his eyes.
“Let’s do it again sometime.”
I smiled again though I wasn’t sure if it reached my eyes. “Sure.”
I opened the door, got out and Ivan opened his side of the door and rounded the car.
“So, do you want me to walk you to your dorm? It’s late.” I looked around. Though the place looked creepy at night, I could manage. Moreover, I didn’t want to burden him. He was a sweetheart throughout the night and I didn’t want to cause him discomfort.
I shook my head. “No, no, I can manage. Besides the area is safe.”
Ivan nodded, and then his eyes raked over me again like earlier. Something flashed in them, and before I could fully process it, he stepped forward.
“Well,” he leaned and kissed my cheek. “Have a good night.”
For a moment I stood there. Rooted to the ground. Staring at him without any of my senses working. And then butterflies in my stomach fluttered. And my forced smile turned into a genuine grin.
“Good night to you too, Ivan.” I was sure my cheeks must be burning red. Ivan licked his lips and then waved.
“See ya’.” He said and I turned around screaming and giggling in my head. Did he just kiss me? My first ever kiss? Even if it was on my cheek, it counted right? Oh god!
I walked forward, hoping Ivan didn’t see the look on my face.
Would he find me desperate too?
Just like Judas said. Would I ever find the peace I desperately craved? Like dark clouds over delicate dawn. A life. I wanted to give it meaning, not to fade like a forgotten song. I didn’t want it to end before I truly saw what happiness was. Before I saw what a real smile looked like on my mother’s face.
I was walking towards the building when I felt it.
A chill ran down my spine.
Automatically my hold on my cardigan tightened and I pulled it closer. My legs suddenly felt weak and I counted in my head.
Just a few blocks, Sera. Just a few blocks.
I took a turn, and my palms started sweating. Was someone following me?
I felt it again. The eerie feeling of being watched. I hurried my steps, almost knocking over the stones. The hair on the back of my neck stood. It took everything in me to not look back. I just clutched onto my bag tighter, hoping Ivan was still standing there watching me instead of whatever demon was hiding in the shadows. Chasing me.
My steps became urgent and I would’ve run when I suddenly stopped.
And then I saw it, a silhouette of a man, standing in the middle of the road blocking the way to the dorm building. My breath caught in my throat. This couldn’t be happening again. The same dark figure, the same unsettling aura. I glanced around frantically, looking for any sign of Ivan, but he was nowhere to be seen. The road was eerily silent, save for the soft rustling of leaves in the night breeze. And that didn’t help either. The breeze brushed past me like a horror-filled melody.
The man began to move, slowly stepping towards me. My heart raced, and I took a step back, stumbling slightly on the pavement.
All the incidents happening in the darkness of night crashed upon me. Assault, kidnapping, murder, robbery. Was I going to be another victim? No, no, no. My last breaths couldn’t be wasted on this cold night.
But the man didn’t stop. He continued to take predatory steps-deliberate and slow.
I swallowed shakily and glanced around. I just needed to cross this block to reach my dorm. But he was blocking it. And if I turned back and ran, I’d be running away from the only safe place I knew here.
As I raced my head for any chance, he drew nearer, and I could make out more details. His clothes were unlike what I’d expect a homeless man or a thug to wear-a suit and a high-end watch sparkling with the falling moonlight. His eyes, though, were different. They seemed to glow faintly in the darkness, filled with a blend of predatory gleam and something else I couldn’t quite place. The rest of him cladded in darkness.
I took a step back, and then another before running away from the street. My breath came out of my pants and I quickly took a left turn and sprinted down the lane. I did not look back. I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t want to see if he was running after me or where he was. One thing I knew for sure was that I would not become another victim.
Gratefully, the lane leading down to the other side of the dorms was just a five-minute walk away. But I managed to cross it in less than two minutes. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I saw the familiar gates. Relief flushed over me and I felt tears stinging my eyes for the first time that night.
I didn’t want to cry.
Crying only made us weak.
And I was anything, but weak. Desperate but not weak.
I hurried to the gates and stopped just in time to look over my shoulder. Hands fumbled with the handles. Come on, open, open, open!
He was now just a few feet away, still cloaked in darkness. But he was not running or making a move towards me. And that scared the living daylights out of me.
Without another thought, I pushed open the gates almost fell on my face and ran, my footsteps pounding against the pavement. I didn’t know where I was going, or what was going on around me, only that I had to escape, to be away from that man.
Up ahead, I saw the guard’s cabin built inside the dorm campus. The door was slightly ajar, and I sprinted towards it, throwing myself inside and almost slamming the door shut behind me. The guard inside turned to look at me with curious and confused eyes.
“Are you alright?” He asked. I gulped in the air greedily crouched down and pointed towards the gates.
I shook my head, unable to speak. I glanced out the window, half-expecting to see the man standing there, but the street was empty. I tried to catch my breath, my mind racing.
The guard came over. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, child.” Worst.
I pointed at the gates again with trembling hands. “There’s a man… outside,” I managed to say. “He’s been following me.”
He frowned, peering out the window. “I don’t see anyone.”
I turned to look as well. The street was deserted, the eerie calm making me question my sanity. “He was there,” I insisted. “I swear.”
The guard gave me a sympathetic smile. “Why don’t you sit down for a bit? You can call someone if you need help. And why were you outside this late?”
I nodded, sinking into a chair. I pulled out my phone and dialled Alina’s number, my fingers trembling. It had only rung once when cut it. She must be sleeping and I didn’t want to worry her.
The kind man let me sit there, calming my raging heart and after a while when my heart was not pounding against my ears. I stood up, not realising my legs were still shaky.
“Thank you,” I muttered running a hand through my hair in exasperation.
He smiled. And bobbed his head at the door. “Hurry back to your room, kid. Russian nights are not very kind.”
I tried to smile back but I couldn’t. I was shaking. With extra strength, I pushed open the door and glanced around. There was no one. And I should be glad, only that I wasn’t. The chills wouldn’t stop, and the trembles worsened. I knew he was there, in the dark, somewhere, looking at me, watching me. Swallowing hard, I took cautious steps to the right where the dorm building was.
Throughout that time, I didn’t look back. I couldn’t bring myself to. How could I when I knew he was watching. Probably amused. Just like a predator hiding in shadows to pounce on its prey.
I couldn’t see him, but he could see me. Truth was, I was scared, terrified to the point I could feel blood roaring in my veins.
I was about to open the glass doors of the front entrance. It was just a minute detail, a small movement, a haunting shift, but I caught it. The silhouette in the glass door, standing just outside the gates. Head tilted to the side, hands deep in his pockets, like an amused demon ready to toy with my soul. Then the moonlight shifted above. My eyes widened, heart pounded in my chest as I saw a figment of his face.
I felt a chill crawl down my spine, and then I shuddered as his lips curled into a sinister smile and he mouthed something I couldn’t hear but felt deep in my bones.
“.”
(Run.)
*******