This was a thing of beauty, but it was also something designed to be used. It was made from ebony wood as best I could tell, and the handle was ergonomically designed to fit in my hand. I could tell just from gripping it that it would fit perfectly. If I didn’t know better I’d swear they took a cast of my hand or something, Still, there was some flash to the handle design, so it wasn’t boring. There was also a ring of silver with elaborate Celtic knotwork put in it.
“You and Ahmed made this?” I said, examining the cane. “It’s stunning. Forget cosplay, you guys should go into the cane business.”
Kitten was overjoyed with my reaction.
“I suggested that, but considering how long we fussed over it, I don’t think it’s practical financially,” she said. “But there’s one thing you’ve missed. There’s a little button in the knotwork. Press it and twist the handle. But don’t pull on it too hard after you do.”
I felt around and there was a tiny button there. I pushed it and heard a small click. Then I twisted the handle and gently pulled it up. Sure enough, a thin metal blade came up from inside the cane. I reached down to touch the blade. My fingers came back quickly. The blade was sharp.
“Jesus, Kitten,” I said.
“We researched all kinds of canes, and Ahmed was dying to try one with a blade in it. I think he got carried away sharpening it. He recommends not using it if you know you’re going through a metal detector,” she said.
I clicked the blade back into the cane. There would be plenty of time to examine it when not at a busy restaurant. I gestured at her to come closer. She smiled and got up from her side of the table and sat in my lap. She leaned down and kissed me.
I could feel the waves of annoyance from several tables. I knew the age difference was drawing some extra looks, but it was the public display of affection aggravating people now. A few years ago I might have been one of them, but now I didn’t care.
“I did good, Daddy?” she said quietly.
“You find new ways to be amazing, Kitten. I love it. I love you,” I said.
I thought her smile would split her face.
Later, on the drive home I was thinking that, yeah, I think I could probably get hard again and if Kitten was serious about anal sex we could at least try, but she needed to be aware that it might not work. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts and planning, that I didn’t notice she had gone quiet in the car.
“Daddy,” she said, hesitantly. “Remember when you said you’d love to have me here all the time?”
“Uh-huh,” I said, still distracted.
“What if I told you I had a way to make that happen?”
That undistracted me in a hurry.
“What do you mean, princess?”
“I got a job offer at the comic con last weekend. I can work full-time if I want,” she said.
I glanced over. She looked nervous, but also a little excited.
“I thought you said it was a smallish comic con and there wouldn’t be any production companies in attendance?” I said.
“There wasn’t. Michelle made the offer. They want me to go and work full-time with them.”
I’d been smiling pretty much from the moment I woke up this morning. Saying this birthday was better than the previous two was a low bar to clear, but I didn’t expect to be this happy, all day long. But Kitten had managed it. But now I found myself in that weird moment where there was still a smile on my face from my happiness a few minutes ago, now it was kind of frozen there, with the joy behind it taking a few steps back.
“Is that what you want?” I said. It wasn’t the right answer as her face dropped.
“Isn’t that what you want? For us both to be together from now on. No more distance keeping us apart? We can start moving forward in our relationship.”
Well. It has been some time since I last had an unexploded bomb like this drop into my lap. I knew saying the wrong thing would be very, very bad. If I wasn’t driving, maybe I could handle the situation with some caution. But I was driving.
In the wake of the accident, people underestimated how hard it was for me to get behind the wheel again. It wasn’t just the physical discomfort of my knee if I drove for too long. I was often terrified another accident was going to happen. Never mind the road we were on was lined with trees; part of my brain was on the lookout for a Mercedes that was going to come flying out of the woods, slam into the side of the car, and kill my girlfriend.
So it was a distraction. I’d been managing and I was a much more cautious driver these days. But your girlfriend saying she wants to drop out of school, and then strongly hint she’d like to get married and have kids… it’s distracting.
“Kitten, I don’t understand why you would want to do this now. Montreal is only a couple of hours away, we’re still going to see each other three days a week. I think dropping out of school is a drastic step,” I said.
The pout was getting deeper. Shit.
“I thought you wanted to be with me, Daddy. This is a chance for that. There are no guarantees after school I’ll get a job, or that this one will still be here. I can start working for them now without having to spend two more years in Montreal and apart from each other. I thought you’d be happy,” she said.
Kitten could be a bit crafty because she knew she could get away with it with me. I was pretty helpless when she flashed those eyes at me or pouted or any of a half-dozen other things she could do. But she was never seriously manipulative. This is why I was giving her the benefit of the doubt on this. But trying to convince me it was a good idea to drop out of school, on my birthday, after loads of sex, with the promise of more when we got home?
It’s a good thing I knew, in my heart, she wasn’t that manipulative.
“I want to be with you, and it’s your choice. But I do not agree with it. School is too important to just throw away.”
“You said some of the biggest idiots you know have university degrees,” she said.
“Yes, and I know plenty of idiots without them. I will also point out I have a Master’s degree, Michelle has a Master’s in Business Administration and Ahmed has a business and fine arts degree. We achieved what we have because we worked hard, studied hard, and took advantage of the connections you get when you’re at school.
“There’s no way you can tell me you’ve learned everything there is to learn in your program right now. You struggled at first, but I know you loved your last semester. I know you want to be with me all the time and I swear to you I want that as well. But throwing away your education because you’re impatient to start your life with me is foolish,” I said.
That came out much harsher than I wanted, but I was so frustrated with her right now, for bringing this up in a car on my birthday, and for thinking this was a good idea. And I could cheerfully murder Michelle and Ahmed for putting the idea in her head to begin with.
Kitten didn’t say another word. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked out the window. She didn’t say a word for the rest of the ride home. Once we pulled up to the house, she was out of the car and into the house before I could manage to wrangle my way out of the driver’s seat. She slammed the door behind her. I glanced into the back seat and saw my birthday gift there and sighed.
I had been having an all-time great birthday.
***
I woke up early the next morning. Normally Kitten was curled into my body or had a hand gently touching me, just needing the reassurance I was there. I always found it adorable.
This morning she wasn’t in bed.
Last night she had gone into her workroom and I could hear her crying through the door. I knocked and asked if I could come in. I wanted to apologize and hopefully talk things through, but I got a very firm “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
It froze my heart to hear those words. I wanted to open the door anyway, but I respected she wanted to be alone. I went into my den and tried to read. After midnight I went to bed. I tried to stay up and wait for her but drifted off.
But now she wasn’t here. Concerned, I got out of bed, not bothering to put on clothes, grabbed my cane, and went over to her workroom. I was hoping she passed out on her little couch, but there was no sign of her. I moved quickly to the spare bedroom, opened the door, and found her asleep. I leaned against the doorframe and let out a breath I had been holding for longer than I knew.
I had sudden visions of her waiting until I fell asleep, grabbing some of her clothes, calling a cab and leaving. Never mind there were no cabs out here. Or maybe she would have hitchhiked…
I stopped myself. She was in bed. She was safe. I needed to stop freaking out over things that never happened except in my imagination. I went over to her side of the bed and could see she had cried herself to sleep. I felt my heart crack a little more.
Then something stepped into that crack.
Next thing I knew I was in the car. I wasn’t entirely sure how I got into the car, but I noticed I’d at least taken the time to get dressed. I had a recollection of leaving a note by Kitten’s bedside table telling her I had to run out and I’d be back hopefully before she read this. And that I loved her.
That was good. I was glad Past Me did that. I’d have hated her waking up to an empty house.
The sensible thing, even now, was to turn around, head home, make breakfast for her and talk things out more calmly in the light of day. Or I could continue into Kingston, hit the bakery we like, buy her all the bread as a way of apologizing, and then head back.
But I was angry. Furious. I hadn’t been this way since before I met Kitten. So I was going to visit someone who I could get angry with it. Someone who deserved it.
Which is how I found myself pulling into Michelle and Ahmed’s driveway. I was getting out of the car, still telling myself this was pretty stupid when I noticed I had grabbed my old cane and not the new one with the sword. Well done again, Past Me.