MATILDA’S POV
“Saraya…” I called out again for God knows. “I had heard it before, hadn’t I?” I asked myself so loud.
It was maddening how familiar it sounded, like a word teetering on the edge of recognition but refusing to step forward.
I drove until I found myself at an empty bridge, the car screeched to a halt as I parked on the side and stepped out. I clenched my fists and let out a loud, guttural yell, the sound echoing into the night. It didn’t make me feel any better. If anything, it only amplified the turmoil raging inside me.
“Saraya,” I muttered under my breath, the name lingering on my tongue like a bitter aftertaste. Why did it feel like I should know her? Why couldn’t I place where I had heard it before?
My phone buzzed, snapping me out of my spiraling thoughts. I pulled it out with shaky hands, the name on the screen reading Tessy. For a moment, I debated whether to answer. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but Tessy wouldn’t stop until I picked up.
Clearing my throat, I pressed the answer button and forced a smile into my voice.
“Tessy, hi!” I said, feigning excitement.
“Matilda,” her voice was warm, but I could hear the undercurrent of concern. “What’s going on? You sound… off.”
“I’m fine,” I said quickly, too quickly.
“You’re lying,” she shot back without hesitation. “I know we haven’t talked much lately, but I can still tell when something’s wrong with you.”
I sighed, my resolve cracking under the weight of her persistence. Tessy had always been sharp, her intuition cutting through the facades I tried to put up. “It’s nothing, really,” I said, though my voice wavered.
“Matilda,” she said firmly, “don’t make me drag it out of you. Talk to me.”
I closed my eyes, exhaling slowly. She wasn’t going to let this go, and maybe I needed someone to listen, even if just for a moment. “It’s… a man,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “The man I’m in love with, he seems to be in love with someone else.”
There was a pause on her end, and for a moment, I thought the line had gone dead. Then she spoke, her tone cautious yet curious. “Wait… is it the same man I met at the Newmans’ daughter’s party? Saraya’s party?”
Her words hit me like a tidal wave, crashing over every thought in my head. My breath caught as realization swept over me, icy and suffocating. Saraya. The name finally slotted into place, dragging a memory I had buried to the surface.
Saraya was Alex’s daughter.
I felt my knees buckle, and I clutched the edge of the car for support. Of course, I’d heard her name before-at that party, amidst the crowd, the laughter, and Arlan’s polite charm as he had mingled effortlessly with the elite. I had seen her too, standing tall with that poised confidence, her beauty drawing attention like a magnet.
How had I not connected the dots sooner? Saraya wasn’t just some faceless rival; she was someone rooted in Arlan’s world, a woman who carried the kind of presence that couldn’t be ignored.
“Matilda?” Tessy’s voice broke through my spiraling thoughts. “Are you there?”
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to answer. “Yes, I’m here,” I said, though my voice trembled.
“You’re pacing out, do you want me to come over?” She asked.
“I think that is a good idea, I’ll send you the address, let’s meet over drinks.” I accepted her offer.
***
“Does it makes any sense he is falling for his best friend daughter?” I asked angrily before gulping down another glass of wine.
“Go easy on yourself, Matilda.” Tessy cautioned. “You’ll get wasted at this rate.”
“Who cares about getting wasted when that serpentine beast is after my man?”
“Well, speaking of that serpentine beast, you would agree with me that she is an adult and if she likes him too, I don’t see a problem.” Tessy replied.
I tilled my eyes at Tessy’s words. “Whose side are you?”
“I’m on your side, okay!” Tessy replied. “But let’s be realistic, you guys are not even dating.”
I knew Tessy was right but I just couldn’t accept it. “Six years, Tessy.” I began. “I’ve loved only him for six years.”
“Still doesn’t count as dating especially when he doesn’t even know how you feel, have you ever considered telling him you’ve fallen for him?” She asked.
“Tessy!” I almost screamed. “Do you even realized that could ruin our friendship if he is not into me?”
“If you feel that way, that means you already know deep in your heart that you don’t stand a a chance with him.”
I could feel anger surging through me. “I must confess, having you around was a bad idea.”
There was silence on her end, the kind that felt heavy with unspoken understanding. “Matilda,” she said finally, her voice soft, “maybe it’s time to give…”
“No,” I cut her off sharply, my fists clenching. “I’m not giving up. Not on him.”
Tessy sighed, but I didn’t wait for her response. I stood up. “Let’s call it a night.”
Tessy stood up as well and grabbed my arm. “You’re drunk and shouldn’t drive, let me call you a driver.” She offered.
“I’m not drunk, I can easily drive myself home with my two eyes closed.” I ward her hands off me.
I walked out with one thought in my head. ‘Saraya wasn’t just a name anymore. She was my competitor, one I must win against at all cost.’
The drive back to my apartment was filled with a storm of rage brewing inside me. Tessy’s words echoed in my head like an irritating mantra. “You’re not even dating. He doesn’t even know how you feel.”
I recalled trying to telling Arlan about my feelings on various occasions but unfortunately, I always find myself tongue tied.
On many occasions, I regret my cowardice especially when people compliment us together but I was scared of ruining our friendship but that action of stalling seems to be my greatest undoing.
Once inside my apartment, I kicked off my heels, threw my bag onto the couch, and made a beeline for the bathroom.
The warm water from the shower did little to soothe the storm raging in my chest. Every thought of Saraya felt like a dagger to my chest.
She doesn’t deserve him, I thought, scrubbing harder at my skin as if I could wash away the bitterness clinging to me.
I stepped out of the shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My wet hair clung to my face, my eyes red from the tears I hadn’t let fall. “Get it together, Matilda,” I muttered. “You’re smarter than this. Stronger.”
Drying off quickly, I threw on my pajamas and grabbed my laptop. The wine had dulled my inhibitions, and I was done pretending I wasn’t going to snoop.
Typing “Saraya Newman” into the search bar, I scrolled through her social media profiles with so much focus. Her Instagram was a nauseating gallery of perfection-vacation pictures, effortless selfies, and candid shots of her laughing with friends.
Then I stumbled on a picture, there she was with Arlan and Alex on the night of the party at the Newman’s building.
Looking at the picture once again and the way they stared at each other, I knew they had fallen for each other.
My breath quickened as I scrolled further, I didn’t want to admit it, but her life looked… perfect. Too perfect.
A few more minutes of stalking revealed her impeccable academic record, her volunteer work, and her flawless circle of friends. I hated her more with every detail I uncovered.
I slammed the laptop shut and leaned back against the couch, staring at the ceiling.
But I wasn’t going to let her win. “Arlan is mine, whether he knew it or not.”