Kamrynn’s POV
The room was still except for the soft rustle of fabric as Tiona finished cleaning me up. My body felt heavy, utterly spent, but there was a strange lightness in my chest. The pain had been unbearable, yes, but holding my children-seeing their tiny faces-had made it all worth it.
Tiona handed me a warm blanket, and Rmonica carefully adjusted the cradle where the twins lay, swaddled and sleeping peacefully. “Have you decided on names yet?” Rmonica asked, her voice soft and full of warmth.
I smiled, my heart swelling as I gazed at the little bundles. “Astor,” I said, touching the soft tufts of dark hair on my son’s head. “And Arabella,” I added, caressing my daughter’s tiny cheek.
Rmonica beamed. “Beautiful names, Kamrynn. They’re perfect.”
Aryna hummed her approval in the back of my mind. “Astor and Arabella,” she said, her voice a comforting presence. “Strong names for strong pups.”
Tiona stepped back, wiping her hands. “You did wonderfully, Kamrynn. They’re beautiful, healthy, and strong. You should be proud.”
I felt tears prick my eyes as I nodded. “Thank you, Tiona. I don’t know how I would have done this without you and Rmonica.”
Rmonica placed a hand on my shoulder. “We’re family now. You’ll never have to do anything alone again.”
I took a deep breath and reached for Astor, gently lifting him into my arms. His tiny fingers curled instinctively around mine, and the simple gesture nearly undid me. I shifted him to one side and picked up Arabella with my other arm, cradling them both.
“Let’s get them fed,” Tiona said, handing me a pillow to prop them up.
I adjusted myself, my body still tender, and began to breastfeed them. Astor latched on immediately, his tiny mouth eagerly suckling, while Arabella squirmed before settling.
Watching them, my heart ached with a fierce, protective love. “You’re everything to me,” I whispered. “My entire world.”
As they fed, their eyelids grew heavier, and soon they drifted into a peaceful slumber. I placed them back in the cradle and sat beside it, humming a soft lullaby. My hand moved instinctively to pat their small backs, and I couldn’t stop the tears that slipped down my cheeks.
But as the silence settled, my thoughts turned to a man I desperately tried to forget. Calvin.
I clenched my fists at the name, but the thoughts wouldn’t stop. How would things have turned out if I hadn’t escaped?
My chest tightened. I could see it clearly in my mind-the twisted smirk on his face as he took Astor and Arabella from my arms, claiming them as his, ripping them away from me. Calvin would have made sure I never saw them again. He would have told me they were better off without me, that I wasn’t worthy of being their mother.
A shudder ran through me, and I bit my lip to hold back the sob rising in my throat.
Yet another image formed in my mind, one that surprised me. A fantasy, impossible but undeniably tempting. What if things had been different? What if Calvin had been my mate? What if Sherelle hadn’t died?
The scene in my mind shifted, vivid and full of light. I was sitting on a huge king sized bed in a gorgeous bedroom, the air filled with the smell of fresh flowers and a scent undeniably Calvin’s. The golden rays of morning sunlight poured in through the large windows, casting a warm glow over everything. Laughter echoed in the background-pure, carefree, and full of love.
“Kamrynn,” Calvin’s voice called gently, drawing my attention.
I turned, and there he was, the Calvin I had once dreamed of. His green eyes, warm and full of tenderness, locked onto mine as he crossed the room holding a tray with two steaming mugs of tea. He wore a soft smile, one that made my heart flutter despite myself.
“You didn’t have to,” I said as he set the tray on the bedside table, brushing his fingers against mine as if he couldn’t resist the contact.
“I wanted to,” he replied, kneeling before me and taking my hands in his. “You’ve been working so hard taking care of our little ones. You deserve to be spoiled.”
I couldn’t help but smile, my cheeks warming under his affectionate gaze. “Spoiled, huh? What about you? You’ve been working nonstop for the Pack.”
He shrugged, his grin widening. “Nothing’s more important than you and the kids.”
As if on cue, Astor came toddling into the room, his giggles infectious as he held a toy high above his head. “Daddy, Daddy! Look!”
Calvin scooped him up effortlessly, spinning him in the air and eliciting a chorus of delighted laughter. “What do we have here, buddy? Is this your new favorite?”
Astor nodded, his little hands clutching the toy tightly. “Mommy got it for me!”
“Of course, she did,” Calvin said, his eyes flicking back to me, full of admiration. “Mommy’s the best, isn’t she?”
Astor nodded again, his curls bouncing with the motion. A spitting image of his father.
Arabella soon appeared in the room, holding onto Sherelle’s hand. My heart swelled at the sight. Sherelle, alive and vibrant, was every bit the doting aunt. Her smile was radiant as she knelt to Arabella’s level, fixing the little girl’s bow before guiding her toward us.
“Look who’s awake,” Sherelle said, her voice teasing. “Arabella wanted to show you her dress.”
Arabella ran to me, her tiny arms outstretched. “Mummy, look!”
I pulled her into my lap, pressing a kiss to her rosy cheek. “You look so beautiful, sweetheart. Did Auntie Sherelle help you get dressed?”
Arabella nodded shyly, glancing back at Sherelle, who gave her an encouraging smile.
“You’re a natural, Sherelle,” Calvin said, setting Astor down and pulling Sherelle into a side hug. “These kids adore you.”
“They should,” Sherelle teased, her laughter light. “I’m the cool aunt, after all.”
We all laughed, the sound filling the room with warmth. Calvin settled beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we watched our children play together on the rug.
It was perfect-too perfect.
Aryna’s voice broke through the vision like a crack of thunder.
“Kamrynn.”
I blinked, the room around me coming back into focus. My hands gripped the edge of the cradle as if grounding myself in reality.
“You need to stop,” Aryna said firmly. “Torturing yourself like this won’t change anything.”
I let out a shaky laugh, the sound bitter and hollow. “I know,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I know it’s pointless, but… for a moment, I let myself imagine how it could have been.”
“How it could have been?” Aryna’s growl resonated in my mind, her tone sharp and unforgiving. “Kamrynn, don’t forget who he is. Don’t forget what he’s done to you, to us.”
My chest tightened, the memories of Calvin’s cruelty flooding back with a vengeance. “I haven’t forgotten,” I said, my voice hardening. “I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. He’s a monster, Aryna. A selfish, cruel monster who doesn’t deserve to know them.”
I glanced at Astor and Arabella, their peaceful faces a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside me. “He doesn’t deserve to hold them, to hear their laughter, to see them grow. He doesn’t deserve anything.”
The anger rose, sharp and burning, until it felt like it would consume me. “I hate him,” I whispered, the words venomous. “I hate him with every fiber of my being. For what he did to me, for what he stole from me. I hate him for making me believe, even for a moment, that I was safe with him.”
Aryna’s tone softened, a note of pride seeping into her voice. “You’ve grown stronger, Kamrynn. You’re not the girl who once worshipped him. You’re a fighter now.”
I nodded, determination settling like a stone in my chest. “I’ll give them everything,” I said, my voice steady. “All the love, all the care. I’ll make sure they never feel his absence. I’ll protect them from everything, even the memory of him.”
I leaned down, pressing a kiss to each of my children’s foreheads. “You’ll never know pain,” I whispered to them. “Not as long as I’m here. I promise you that.”
Aryna’s voice was steady, full of pride. “You’ve grown so much, Kamrynn. You’re no longer that naive girl who let herself be blinded by Calvin’s charm.”
“No,” I agreed, lifting my chin. “I’m not. I’ve been through too much, learned too many hard lessons. I’ve lost pieces of myself, but what’s left is stronger, sharper. I’m not that girl anymore.”
I looked out the window, the moonlight casting a soft glow over the room. “I’ll rise from this,” I said quietly. “From everything he did to me. From the ashes of my past. I’ll build a better future for myself and my children.”
Aryna rumbled approvingly in the back of my mind. “And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
I smiled, feeling a quiet strength settle over me. “Thank you, Aryna.”
Turning back to my twins, I reached into the cradle and ran my fingers gently over their tiny hands. “Astor. Arabella. You’re my reason for everything now. I’ll give you the life you deserve. A life full of love, hope, and happiness.”
As they slept, I sat by their side, the weight of the past still heavy but no longer unbearable. I wasn’t the girl I used to be. And I never would be again.