As far as their love life was concerned though, the two mothers had reacted very differently to the loss of their husbands. Julia had dated three guys in the seven years since Ron’s death, without even having sex with them. She had eventually come to rely only on her fingers, her toys and some internet porn for her satisfaction. Jenny, on the other hand, had gone through a legion of strapping young studs over the years, trying to fill the emotional void with sex, succeeding just in part. Only recently had Jenny finally started to get tired of living the life of the insatiable cougar.
No, Julia thought with a smile, asking Jenny for advice about Mike would be pointless. Her answer was way too predictable.
Determined to somehow sort out her intense and increasingly overpowering emotions, Julia turned to the internet. At first she browsed through the historical relevance of incest and its ancestral taboo nature, reading about its social and psychological significance. She found little that she didn’t know already, at least vaguely, and nothing that really interested her. After a while though, her attention was caught by other points of view on the topic.
By the time Mike got home from school that day, Julia had cum so many times reading erotic stories about mothers having sex with their sons that she was weak in the knees, physically drained and emotionally overcharged. Luckily her daughters were at college and Mike himself was too out of sorts to pay attention to anything but his battered inner self, because that evening at dinner Julia was sure her naughty thoughts could be easily seen as they darted around in her spinning head.
In the following days, Julia struggled to focus on her son’s emotional problems while she dealt with her own inner turmoil. When Mike was home, she tried to spend as much time as possible with him. She watched movies with him and asked for his help fixing stuff around the house in an attempt to somehow drag him out of his room. She cooked his favorite dishes, wishing he’d regain some appetite.
There were some minor improvements, but nothing really significant. Every night he lay awake for hours, jacking off mechanically as he murmured his lost love’s name, trying and failing to relive the bliss of their time together. Meanwhile, Julia couldn’t bring herself to stop sneaking peeks at her son.
Every night, standing outside his bedroom in her pajama top and panties, Julia watched Mike stroke his hard fat cock. Her pussy got soaking wet and her whole body was flushed as wave after wave of sensual heat washed over her at the sight of her son masturbating relentlessly. After just a few minutes of this secret show, Julia would be forced to retire to her bedroom to tend to her needy pussy, starting her own masturbatory marathon. During those sessions, the horny mother brought herself to climax after climax, her fingers a blur on her clit and her holes stuffed with her toys as she sunk her face in the pillow not to scream out her boy’s name as she came.
In the mornings, while Mike was at school, Julia would consider her options more lucidly. Mike’s problem was obvious to her now. He didn’t simply miss his girlfriend, he missed having sex with her most of all. His raging hormones, coupled with the novelty of sex, had triggered a powerful reaction in him, multiplying his lust exponentially. It would have been healthy enough if he only had a partner to express his sexuality with, but that was not the case. Mike had somehow been traumatized by the abrupt loss of his very first sexual partner and, on top of that, he had always been shy with girls to begin with. He wasn’t going to get another girlfriend any time soon, Julia knew, and his youthful state of arousal would not simply go away on its own.
The solution to Mike’s problem seemed clear to Julia: her son needed to have sex. Not melancholy auto-erotic sex with his own hand and the ghost of his ex. No. He needed to be loved by a woman in the flesh, he needed to be touched and kissed and pleased, so that he could realize that Shelly wasn’t the only person capable of making him feel good. Once he accepted that simple truth, Mike would be on his way to recovery. Or at least Julia hoped so.
In her most courageous moments, Julia imaged that she herself could be that woman for her son. She could help him. She could touch him. She could make him feel loved like only a mother could. She wanted to do all that, there was no denying it.
But then, at other times, she doubted the wisdom of this theoretical course of action. Was she really considering incest? Apparently, yes. She didn’t feel disgusted nor guilty at the idea of having sex with her son. After all, they were both adults and capable of making their own choices. She did fear the consequences of crossing that line, though. Would her relationship with Mike be ruined if the two of them were to break the ultimate taboo? Julia loved her boy, and she knew that he loved her too, even if now his emotions were pretty skewed. But could their mother/son bond be pushed as far as mother/son sex without disastrous emotional consequences? Was it possible that her solution might create an even bigger problem than the one it was supposed to solve?
At times, a subtler and more insidious question nagged at Julia. Would her son even accept her if she were to offer herself to him? That was Julia’s deepest, most secret fear about it all. What if Mike rejected her? He probably would not, Julia eventually concluded every time she looked herself in the mirror after she showered, observing her curvy body critically and finding that yes, despite her forty-two years of age, she was still gorgeous.
Her large breasts weren’t as perky as they had been when she was twenty, but they had gotten even bigger and were still quite firm, capped with puffy areolas and long, upturned pink nipples. Her tummy wasn’t as flat as it once was, but she kept herself in good shape with yoga, as her toned, shapely legs testified. Her ass was rounder than ever, and Julia was still very proud of it. She knew that her plump juicy bubble-butt drew more gazes than many a skinny girl’s flat scrawny tushy did.
Every day, as she waited for Mike’s return, Julia went over her thoughts and doubts, evaluating every angle, every possibility, and seriously considering the idea of having sex with her son. She weighed pros an cons, again and again and again, but she could never reach a decision either way. Unfailingly, she would find herself right where she started: torn between temptation, hesitation and arousal.
Eventually though, events took their own course and a decision was made for her.
*****
Julia was silent as they drove back from Mike’s school. He just looked glumly out the window, sometimes stealing glances at his impassible mother then hanging his head, sighing in hopeless resignation. As she parked the car in the driveway and made her way into the house, Julia was composed on the outside while her fury burned inside her.
She barely nodded when Mike told her for the hundredth time how sorry he was. Her piercing gaze followed him as he dejectedly shuffled upstairs to his room. As soon as she heard his door close, Julia let out a strangled growl of frustration. So this was the point things had got to: getting called in by the principal to be told that her son might not be able to graduate unless he got his act together soon.
As if his lack of participation in class, his awful grades and his bad attitude weren’t enough, Mike had got in a fistfight with another kid who had cracked a joke about Mike’s ex girlfriend probably having fun with English boys while he kept crying over her. Mike had got off easy with a slap on the wrist in the end, but the principal told Julia in no uncertain terms that the next time her son ended up in his office, he would have to suspend him and, based on Mike’s current behavior, he had no doubt that there would be a next time. Adding that he was surprised to see a formerly good student spiral out of control so badly and so quickly, the principal advised Julia to intervene before Mike’s situation became irreparable to the point of preventing him from graduating that year.
Julia couldn’t believe it. She was in shock as she nodded silently and then left the principal’s office to take Mike home, feeling like she had a thunderstorm and a fire and a hurricane raging inside her all at the same time. She wasn’t even mad at Mike, she was mad at herself. She was his mother, she was supposed to take care of him and point him in the right direction and help him when he needed to be set straight. But she had failed him, with her procrastination and indecision and lack of initiative. She had seen a solution, considered it and found it viable and yet she hadn’t acted. Sure, it was unorthodox, but at this point all other measures seemed useless. She had waited too long, and now her baby was almost too far gone for her to save him.
That night, all through their silent dinner, Mike told his mother that he was sorry, over and over again, sadly apologizing to her. Julia just smiled weakly at him. She knew what he meant: he was sorry for the pain he was causing her, yes, she saw that, but she could also see that he was apologizing for the fact that he wasn’t going to do anything to change. Julia understood the powerlessness in his eyes and the resignation in his voice as he begged her to forgive him for letting her down. ‘How could I have let things come to this?’ Julia kept asking herself, long after she had done the dishes and Mike had once again retired to his room.