Shenaya’s Pov
Days pass in a blur. I didn’t know how long I’d been lying on this bed, I couldn’t move and it felt like time had ceased to exist. Grief gripped me like a relentless storm-howling, tearing, and pulling me into an abyss of despair.
I couldn’t help but feel pity for my dad because he couldn’t help but just watch me as I fought for my life right in his house. I could see the pain in his eyes every time he brought my food and he came back to pick it up just like the way he left it because I didn’t have the strength to eat anything.
My thoughts spiral into darkness, looping endlessly on the image of Aiden’s cold eyes, his harsh words cut my soul deeper each time I recall them in my mind.
Dad came in with another tray of food but instead of him to leave as usual, he sat down by the bedside.
“Please eat something, even if you don’t care about yourself, please care for your pup.” His voice was laced with pure concern and if he got triggered he might burst into tears too.
Instead of saying something, my body collapsed onto his lap and I held him tightly, I buried my face into him and my body started shaking uncontrollably because of my sobs. He only petted my back and didn’t say anything.
After crying uncontrollably and breathlessly, I decided to follow his advice and save the life of my pup by grabbing the food and forcefully shoving it down my throat. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I finished the whole bowl of food and I still wanted more.
Dad left after the food and I was left alone. I dragged myself off the bed and walked to the mirror. I looked at my figure in the mirror and I’m not gonna lie, I looked miserable. My eyes were swollen because of too many tears and my hair looked like a bird nest.
I looked at my baby bump in the mirror and my hand cradled my belly. I could hear the faint heartbeat of my pup. I hate myself for being weak, for wanting to crumble, and for almost losing myself when I have a reason to keep breathing, a reason to stay alive, a reason to keep fighting even when it feels impossible.
‘Girl we can’t live like this,’ Lily whispered to me, ‘We have to be strong. For us… for our pup.’
‘We need to call for help’.
With shaking hands, I reached for my phone. It took all my strength to press the buttons but I know I just had to make the call.
I stared at the phone screen for a moment, then I pressed the dialed button.
“Ethan Roux Moreau’s phone.” Ethan picked up on the second ring.
“Eth- Ethan it’s me” I broke down into tears again but this time, these tears were released from this stupid life.
“Emily? Where have you been?”
“Are you there?” he asked when I didn’t respond.
“Yes, I’m here” I replied while sniffing and wiping my tears off “I’m Rome, please come get me” My tears came back stronger.
“I’ll be there soon, please stay strong for me” his voice laced with concern. I’m glad he didn’t question me further. I just couldn’t wait to get out of here. I pressed the red button and rested my phone on the bed.
I’m glad I was able to take my first step toward healing, towards finding myself again.
Even though the road seemed uncertain, I knew I had taken my first step out of darkness.
I stepped into my small cozy bathroom. I looked at the foggy mirror above the sink, my pale skin and my tear-streaked face stared back at me. My once vibrant red hair now tangled and dull from neglect falls heavily down my back to my waist. I could barely recognize myself. Dark circles shadow my swollen eyes, and my lips tremble as I run my fingers through my hair.
The sound of the running water fills the room as she turns the shower and the steam rises like a veil.
I took a deep breath, letting the tension in my shoulders release as I straightened my back. The call with Eric reignited a part of me which reminds that I am not alone and there is still hope.
“It’s time to let go,” I whispered to myself.
My eyes drifted to the small pair of scissors resting by the sink and suddenly, I felt the urge to shed. I grabbed the scissors without hesitation and gripped a thick lock of my hair, in one swift motion, I snipped through the strands.
The sound of the scissors cutting through my hair became satisfying. I deliberately kept cutting, mass of red hair fell into the sink. I feel a sense of freedom wash over me as if every inch I cut takes a piece of my broken heart.
I cut everything to an extremely short hair. My reflection sharpened, I wasn’t seeing the miserable Shenaya anymore but a woman who was determined to rise from the ashes of her pain.
I stepped into the shower and let the warm water cascade over my hair. I feel like the water is washing away the rest of my grief, the tears, the hopelessness, the helplessness. I closed my eyes and let the water droplets massage my scalp, I feel lighter, freer, and better.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I caught myself in the mirror again and the woman staring back at me was no longer a victim but a survivor. I ran my fingers through my damp short hair and gave myself a satisfying smile. This is definitely the beginning of a new life.
I was sitting on the balcony, looking through the sky. The sun hangs low in the sky making it cast long shadows across the pack grounds. The whole surrounding feels so foreign and hostile, this used to be my home but now, it no longer feels like it.
“I just can’t wait to get out of here”, I muttered out loud.
Moon Goddess was listening to me this time because a sleek, black SUV pulled up right in front of my house and I already who was there. The door swung open and Eric stepped out. An aura of power radiates effortlessly from his sharp features. He is a male version of me just that he holds fierceness and confidence I long to possess in his eyes.
“Emily,” he called out with his thick French accent, I darted towards him. He wrapped his arms around me and hugging him made my heart feel lighter.
“I’m here now, it’s time to go home,” Eric said as he hugged me tighter.
“You are not alone anymore” he pulled away and cupped my face.
I didn’t have anything to pack as most of my clothes were in Aiden’s chambers and I didn’t get to pack them.
“I’m proud you are making the healing decision”, dad said with his voice slightly trembling.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything, I should have protected you” tears almost falling.
“You did all you could do Dad but now, I have to continue my journey from here. I don’t want to be this weak the next time we meet”
“I am so proud of you and I wish things were different.” He gave me a tight hug and I returned it
“They will be,” I whispered to him and pulled away and headed toward the car with Eric.
As we drove out of the pack grounds, I gazed out the window and the memories of my whole life in the pack flashed in my mind. We approached the exit of the pack and my eyes caught the sight of Aiden and Skylar standing together. They looked like the perfect couple. Aiden wrapped his arm around Skylar and she leaned on his shoulders. They looked happy completely unaware of me watching them.
As my car drove past them, I noticed a change in Aiden’s position. He started looking around as if he was looking for someone and I quickly looked away even though I knew he was not going to see me in the tinted glass.
We drove away and this is goodbye to Rome.