Paolo
What? That was her first time having sex?
I exhale harshly, still leaning on the table above Jacinta. No wonder she was so tight and reluctant to take me at first-but I had felt the desire radiating off her body. She wanted me, and judging by the blissed-out smile on her face, she didn’t mind me stealing her virginity. God. Did I actually just do that?
I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, and push up and away from her heated body. Jacinta hums in response, but her eyes are closed, and her body is so limp I doubt she’s even consciously aware of her surroundings. She’s just plastered all over the dining table, open and leaking, ruining the fabric of her beautiful dress, and I feel a wave of heat when I take a proper look at her.
Damn, she’s gorgeous. Even if I just messed everything up, it was kinda worth it.
Jacinta barely moves while I’m pulling my pants back up and fixing my clothes, so I lean on the table to take a look at her face. Her eyes are closed, and her lips are parted around sleepy sighs. Is she asleep? It brings a smile to my lips, but I quickly catch myself and straighten up. It’s not the time for sentiment.
I have to figure out how to deal with the consequences of my mistake-because, of course, it was a huge mistake. I shouldn’t have done it, and I know that.
I knew it when I pushed Jacinta to the table, held her chin to kiss her, and forced her to lie down and take me like a whore and not the priceless daughter of a Mexican mobster. At the back of my mind, I knew I shouldn’t have touched her at all-but I couldn’t help it. Not when I saw that Jacinta wanted me too.
There’s something so seductive about her that drives me crazy. Even now, as I hold her in my arms on the way to her room, Jacinta’s smell makes my heart beat faster. The soft curves of her body wake up something primal in me, and the fire of her heart makes me want to tame her and have her only for myself.
The look of her dark eyes calls to my inner demons. Ever since we met, I’ve been barely keeping them under control, and her bashful innocence only taunts them further. I want to see her cry from pleasure. I want to ruin her from the inside.
In the darkness of her room, I can’t help but linger next to her bed and watch the peaceful features of her face. She has this mesmerizing and dangerous kind of beauty, like a fire that’s so beautiful but too hot to touch. Everything about her is enthralling and pulling me in-and that’s exactly why I force myself to turn away and leave her alone.
Jacinta is only a temporary prisoner of mine, and I shouldn’t let myself see her as anything more.
I spend the rest of the night sleepless, staring at the darkness of my room and looking for a place in my mind to hide from the thoughts about Jacinta. She seems to take over my mind completely, but it only makes me more agitated. I refuse to give up so easily, so I force myself to think about Gerardo, his despair, and how we will celebrate the fall of the Escarra family.
Because that’s why I started it all, right? To defeat them and, as Jacinta put it last night, make a name for myself. This is my only chance to overtake Riccardo, I can’t let myself get distracted-and with that thought rolling over and over in my mind, I fall into a dreamless slumber.
I wake up a few hours later from a phone call, and while I rub my eyes and listen to Matteo talk about a huge firefight between the Mexicans and a few local gangs on the other side of Chicago, I realize that it’s already past sunrise. It’s time to get up and have some coffee. My mind is still groggy when I leave my room, but as soon as I enter the dining room, memories flood me with a wave of arousal.
Especially when I see Jacinta at the table.
“Alice, bring me coffee,” I grumble at the servant, ignoring the almost instinctive reaction of my body to Jacinta, and take a seat opposite from her. From the corner of my eye, I see that she tenses up and puts her fork on her plate, but I didn’t expect a particularly cordial greeting.
Even without the beautiful dress and evening makeup, Jacinta looks as pretty as ever. She’s wearing a baggy pullover with her hair tied up in a bun, and when I look at her properly I see the tiredness in her features. But well, that’s natural after a good ride, isn’t it? My body is still processing what happened too, and the thought that Jacinta still remembers my touches fills me with odd pleasure.
I watch her for a couple of minutes just to tease a reaction out of her, but Jacinta refuses to meet my gaze. She stares at the scrambled egg on her plate with a frown, and it pinches something inside of me. Doesn’t she see that I’m looking at her? Why is she ignoring me?
“What did the egg do to make you so mad?” I ask with a chuckle while Alice places a cup of steaming coffee in front of me. But even its delicious smell doesn’t make me feel better.
Jacinta doesn’t respond. She glances at me quickly, but before I can read the look in her eyes, she purses her lips and gets up. “I think I’m done with breakfast. Thanks, Alice.”
And just like that, Jacinta walks away from the table, leaving me annoyed and confused. What the hell was that? I follow her with my gaze, not realizing that my hand squeezes the cup too tightly until I feel the burn on my palm and pull my hand back with a hiss. Shit!
The coffee spills over the table, and with a burst of anger, I throw the cup away. Why is it so fucking hot? The cup falls on the floor with a loud shatter, and it makes my whole body tense up. I clench my jaw and curl my burned hand into a fist. This whole morning is a goddamn mess.
“Alice!” I yell, and she immediately shows up in the doorway with her hands clasped and her gaze cast to the floor. “Clean that fucking coffee and bring a new cup to the office.”
“Yes, Signor Paolo.”
I push my chair away from the table and storm out of the dining room. Jacinta is nowhere to be seen, so I guess she went back to her room. I look up the stairs as if she would suddenly appear there, looking for me.
I don’t know why it matters, and I don’t know why it makes me so wired up, but I can’t just let it go. Jacinta clearly didn’t want to see me this morning, and she’d never been so cold with me before. I always managed to get a reaction out of her, but today she just ignored me. She acted as if I wasn’t there at all!
In a rush of agitation, I move to the stairs, ready to climb up and face her-when a sudden realization makes me stop. Is it because of last night? I swallow and uncurl my fists, still looking at the second floor. Is it because of what I did to her?
Does Jacinta hate me now?
I slowly lower my gaze and stare in front of me, listening to the sensations swirling in my chest. It’s a mixture of anger, upset, fear, and so much hurt I automatically raise my hand to my chest and rub it as if it would soothe the pain. But that’s stupid, of course it’s stupid. What does it matter if she doesn’t want to see me again?
I huff and turn around to go down the stairs, but I can’t help the growing wave of bitterness. Well, maybe it’s for the better. I’ve been too
weak with her, I let her too deep in my heart, and it did me no good. Jacinta only used it to hurt me, but I shouldn’t have given her that power in the first place.
Now, I have to take it back-and the only way to do that is to forget her. Stop seeing her, stop thinking about her, get rid of every feeling she has planted in me, and then I’ll be myself again. I’ll be free of this stupid thing I got myself into, so I breathe out and go to Riccardo’s office, leaving my heartache behind.
For the next few days, the air between me and Jacinta remains as cold and tense as it was that morning. There is no more bickering, no more curses and glares, no more sparkles that seemed to be dancing on my skin whenever Jacinta was around. She stubbornly avoids me, disappearing from my line of sight whenever we come across each other, and I pretend like I don’t even notice it.
It turns out to be easy to pretend like I don’t care.
Besides, luckily or not, there are other things to occupy my mind.
Gerardo’s attempts at finding Jacinta become more and more desperate-to the point that it becomes dangerous to my family. With every passing day, the actions of the Escarra family grow more vicious; a few of our pawns have already been captured in neutral territory, and we hear the same reports from the Russian Bratva.
It looks like Gerardo has really lost his mind. By breaking the unspoken rules of the underworld and carrying out his violence in the
untouchable parts of Chicago, he’s turning everyone else against him.
We’ve all lost family members to the endless fights of the Mafia world, but Gerardo doesn’t seem to know his limits-and it makes me curious to see how deep his grave will be.
“How long have they been gone?” I hold the phone to my ear, mindlessly walking across the mansion to my office. It’s already getting dark outside, and all the lamps in the hallway switch on to light my way.
“Two hours,” Louis says over the steady hum of voices in the warehouse, and I can imagine him standing by the rail above the first floor.
There should be three young men standing by his side and reporting the situation on the perimeter of our block-but none of them are there. The patrol Louis sent two hours ago has just disappeared, and even though they’re probably chasing away some thugs or flirting with the whores again, I can’t help but feel uneasy.
The patrol was supposed to stay close to the warehouse. If the Mexicans caught them there, it means they are closer than we want them to be.
“Get Omero and Leo and trace the boys. If they’re stuck in a brothel again, break their toes. Maybe that will stop them from wandering around.”
“Got it.”
I hang up a moment later and exhale my frustration, pushing my phone back into my pocket. I know it’s always difficult to keep new recruits focused on their tasks, but goddamnit. If they get us in trouble, I-
Wait. I come to a halt and focus on the walls around me before pinching the bridge of my nose with a quiet curse. Shit. Why am I here again?
It’s been ten days since I saw Jacinta properly and not as a silhouette disappearing in the doorway at the first hint of my presence. I haven’t seen her face, haven’t heard her voice or looked into her eyes, and despite my determination to forget about her, this distance has been killing me. I feel like an idiot thinking about Jacinta after she clearly let me know that she hates me-but I can’t help myself.
My thoughts come back to her whenever I let them run loose, and my feet carry me to her room whenever I lose my focus. That’s where
Jacinta spends most of her days, avoiding me-but at least it doesn’t give her a chance to run away.