~ISSA
I could feel the tension in her body as we drove.
She was vibrating with anxiety as I pulled into the garage. The ride home had been silent for the most part and I knew it was because she was in deep thought. I had to let her know some things and I was not sure how she was processing them. I hated being this worried.
I knew that enrolling her at Canis had been a bad idea but it was the only place that was suitable for her. Before Marianna had been killed, Yulia had been schooling at a college for humans. I had been against it but my late sister had wanted Yulia to experience a normal existence. I thought it was foolish because our kind did not do normal things.
It had been a waste of time.
The reason I had decided that she Joined Canis Academy was that she had proper access to learning about herself and the nature of the werewolf she was. She needed to understand that she was not human and she would never be. She needed to be prepared for what was coming and that school was the only way.
I knew that Davina had her own agenda for the sudden interest she had in Yulia. She had shown that same interest in me when she had also been a student of Canis Academy but she had already been a part of the secret order of the school. I had ignored her friendship and rebuffed her offer. And in return she had hated me ever since. I never gave a fuck about how she felt and I was not going to start now.
Although it would be stupid to underestimate her because she was one of the most powerful witches Canis Academy ever produced. It was why she had been appointed the position of the Dean and also why she was the Head Witch of the Blue Lake Territory.
“What is on your mind?” I asked Yulia as we headed inside the house.
“I am just trying to process everything that has happened today,” She said. “I really did not mean to hurt Leia, it just happened.”
“You gave in to the call of Iran, it happens to me all the time,” I told her.
She looked at me curiously.
“How was that even possible?” She asked. “It was like Iran took over Yara and I just felt this…”
“Rage,” I finished for her. “Iran tempts you with his rage, it is what he does,” I said with a shrug.
We were in the kitchen and I went to the refrigerator to get a cold beer. I also got a box of orange juice which was her favourite.
“Is that what you feel all the time?” She asked me as I handed her the juice box. “That unending rage?”
“It is my curse, Yulia,” I said to her.
“Is that why you hide from everyone?” She asked me.
I got defensive.
“I am a Lycan. I hide from no one,” I said curtly.
“Then why did I not see you until I turned eighteen?”
I had no answer. That was a lie. I did but I was not so sure she was going to like what I would say.
“I had no interest in seeing you because I believed it was a bad idea for Marianna to have adopted you. I was against it from the start,” I told her and held my breath as I waited for her reaction.
“Because you knew that I was trouble,” She said like it was a fact.
“You are still trouble, just more attractive,” I replied and watched her throat move as she drank her juice. I wanted so badly to suck on that neck.
“Do you blame me for her death?” She asked in a quiet tone and I froze. She saw my shocked expression. “You do,” She said in a pained voice.
She dropped the juice box on the marble table in the middle of the kitchen and ran out. I saw the tears that she was fighting to hold back, streaming down her face as she left me alone.
The question had caught me off guard, I was not going to lie and I quickly lost my appetite for my cold beer. I heard her run up the stairs to her room and the door slamming shut.
I searched deep within myself, past Iran for the answer to that question. Iran was unusually silent because even he did not have what it took to answer that question.
I knew that Marianna died because of Yulia but was Yulia to be blamed? I dropped the bottle of beer in my hand and went upstairs to Yulia’s bedroom.
I knocked gently. “Yulia?”
“Go away,” I heard her faintly through the door. I tried the handle and it was locked.
“I just want to talk,” I said loud enough for her to hear me.
“I do not want to see you right now,” She said in a teary tone. I did the next sensible thing.
I stepped back from the door and I lunged at it with my right foot kicking it off the hinges.
Yulia’s eyes widened in shock at my action. I stepped over the fallen door and went to where she was curled up on the bed. Her face was streaked with tears as I sat close to her.
“The question caught me off guard, Yulia, because it made me feel guilty,” I told her before she could speak. “I do not blame you for Marianna’s death. The only one here who is to be blamed is me.”
I had not yet come to terms with my sister’s demise but saying those words right in front of her made all the grief I had kept locked up, breaking out. The pain that I was going through right now was not something I could describe with words.
“If I had not been so stubborn… if I had been there from the start… maybe you would still have a mother. Because of my pride, I lost the only family that I ever loved.”
I felt tears drip down my face. Yulia crawled to me and held me close. Her lips touched my face and I realized that she was kissing away my tears… my pain. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she wrapped her legs around mine as we sat on the bed.
“I am so sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most, Yulia,” I whispered in pain.
“Shhhh,” She said. “Kiss me.”