A month passed in frosted hell. Faith had been on the phone with Leo’s mother more times than she could count, planning a wedding she didn’t care about. More than once, Gina had remarked that she didn’t seem very excited. Faith had told her she didn’t like big events-all the people and expectation made her nervous. All she cared about was marrying Leo. This satisfied his mother.
She and Leo had been eating meals together in the smaller kitchen. Demetri and the other staff left them alone during these times, so either she cooked or Leo did, alternating between Italian and American cuisine.
Faith surprised him one night with cannolis for dessert. She’d noticed how much he’d liked them at Christmas and had gotten Gina’s recipe one afternoon during a marathon wedding-planning conversation.
When she’d brought them to the table with his coffee, his face had lit up. His hand had inched across the table closer to hers before he’d abruptly pulled it back. After that, he’d stopped eating meals with her. When she tried to engage him, he claimed he had to work late and would grab something later.
It didn’t matter what time of day she went to the kitchen, he wasn’t there. Either Leo was fasting or Demetri was informing him of her movements in the house so he could avoid her. He’d felt something, and he was scared.
Scared he’d hurt her? Scared he’d love her?
Either he was scared or she made the world’s worst cannolis.
Once a week, a different woman would show up at the door. The woman would be dressed in some slutty black leather number with what looked like a dog collar on, smiling demurely as she stepped into the house and lowered her gaze.
Faith wasn’t sure where he was getting these women. Was there an escort service that supplied women who liked to beg and be hit? She tried to be okay with it. After all, it was obvious these women meant nothing to Leo. But he hadn’t done this before Christmas. Whatever he’d done with Caprice had reawakened something he could no longer keep in a box on the back shelf.
It was early February, and the Christmas decor still hadn’t been taken down. Faith was starting to wonder if Leo loved Christmas so much that everything stayed up year round. The doorbell sounded, and Faith hid behind the large tree in the entryway. It was Friday evening at 7:30. Like clockwork. It was the same time but a different woman every week.
Demetri answered the door to reveal an exotic Asian woman. The same woman who had been here the previous week. Was he getting attached? During Christmas with the Caprice debacle, if Caprice could have been trusted, Faith could have coped with being in a tame relationship with Leo while someone else handled his darker needs. Now, though, something had shifted. Even if some other woman could just be a toy, Faith no longer liked the idea of sharing.
Demetri took the woman’s coat and stepped out of her way. “You know where to go, Miss Lin.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Faith wasn’t sure if Leo was already in the dungeon and she didn’t want to risk their paths crossing, so she waited a while longer behind the tree.
“Miss Jacobson,” Demetri said, coming to stand in front of her.
“Where on Earth will you hide when I take down the tree?” So it did come down at some point during the year.
“I’m sorry. Excuse me,” Faith said, trying to brush past the butler. But he blocked her path.
“You know he doesn’t care about these women. He wants you.” The man had never been so overt about anything in all the time she’d been there. He’d been nothing but professional, but something must have been building and stewing. He’d probably calculated his odds on getting fired for this one were slim.
“Then why is he avoiding me? Why is he parading these women in front of me?”
Demetri smiled and shook his head. “I’ve known him since he was a boy. My guess would be that he doesn’t trust himself around you. And for your second question… he has to be in control. He won’t give up his territory for your convenience.”
It was the most Demetri had ever said to her at one time. For weeks now, she’d thought the man was only capable of speaking in one-sentence bursts. She tried to brush past him again, but still he refused to move.
“It’s none of my business, but do you mind if I ask you something?”
It didn’t appear he was going to let her pass him otherwise. So it was either answer his riddles or knock down the tree and climb over the other way. “What?”
“It’s clear to me that Mr. Raspallo isn’t the only one harboring some feelings. Why aren’t you the one with him instead of Miss Lin?”
Faith blushed and became intensely interested in a red-and-white glass ornament that looked like old-fashioned, wrapped candy. The silence stretched between them. Demetri’s post at the Raspallo estate had made him infinitely capable of waiting.
“Y-you know what he’s into?”
“I’ve seen the dungeon.”
“I’m sure Leo thinks I’m a prude, but I’m not into all that. And it isn’t like I pursued him. It’s not as if I’m here by my own choice.”
“Do you think he’d throw you down and pick the most painful implement he could find and go at you full force?”
“Maybe. I don’t know what he’d do.”
“He cares about you. He’d go slow. If you were willing to try it.”
The conversation made her want to disappear. Leo’s dungeon and his activities therein weren’t spoken about. By not speaking about it, it could be part of a dim dream world and nothing more.
“But he said if I say yes, my consent isn’t revocable. I can’t change my mind later. So if it’s too much, I can’t ever get out. The only safety I have right now is saying no and hoping he honors that. If I say yes, I don’t have any more choices ever.”
Demetri laughed. “That’s what he thinks. The truth is, from the moment you stepped into his life, he couldn’t stand for any harm to come to you. That sadistic side of him you’re so scared of isn’t all he’s about. He’s a healer and protector. He would do anything to not damage you. If you couldn’t handle it, he’d stop. He doesn’t want to be played with. He needs someone who belongs to him completely, like you do. He’s had too many woman who came here and then tried to control things, giving and taking consent like submission meant nothing to them. It’s the reason Miss Lin is the only one so far who has made it to a second visit.”
Faith didn’t reply, but if what the butler was telling her was true, the Asian woman was the first true threat.
Demetri excused himself and left her alone with the tree. When he was far enough away, she slipped off to the dungeon. Maybe she was a masochist. If she didn’t like pain, why did she keep going back there every Friday to listen in on what happened with Leo and the others? She wasn’t a voyeur. She didn’t get a burst of excitement from watching or hearing other people going at it. She just couldn’t stand not knowing the status of things.
Despite how much she protested and denied, she knew if things went far enough, she wouldn’t be able to prevent herself from begging Leo to do what he wanted with her to keep the other women away. She couldn’t understand how any of this had happened, how he had transformed into someone she had real feelings for. All the time spent getting to know each other to trick his family, all the public affection and time spent with others and the meals they’d made together, had created a crescendo of need she could neither explain nor deny.
The past weeks of no interaction with him, and the women and what they did in the dungeon, had created an aching longing as well as a blind terror that she’d almost do anything to stop. Could any physical pain be worse than the pain she felt now? What if he fell in love with this woman? Even if he didn’t get rid of Faith, how could she live like that? Trapped in this house, watching him with someone else, while she remained forever without anyone to fill the hole created by the lack of him?
Why couldn’t he be normal? Why couldn’t he crave equality and moonlit strolls on the beach?
Faith crept down the winding hallways in the darkness. She felt along the wall until she reached the end. The door was cracked as always, so she slipped down the stairs to the halfway point-close enough to hear what was happening, but far enough away that she could make a quick escape without being caught when they were finished.
In the dungeon, Leo’s voice changed. It went deeper-as if the devil himself had taken possession of him. It was a change so visceral that she could feel it on the staircase where she hid.
He made the women call him Sir. The night he’d brought Faith home, he’d insisted on Master. Faith pondered this difference. Did he want them to call him Sir because he didn’t consider them his property? Would calling him Sir have been easier? Would she have found it less weird? She wondered what Caprice had called him: Sir-or Master because of relationship history? Did one go from Sir to Master? Or from Master to Sir? Was this how everybody like Leo operated?
Faith wasn’t a naive idiot. She was vaguely aware of the world of kink, of spanking and bondage and whips and stuff like that. Only the more arcane implements and toys confused her. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand what it was. She didn’t understand why it was. Why would any woman allow a man to do this to her? Why voluntarily put yourself at so much risk at the mercy of another? Why face pain with every sexual encounter? Was there something wrong with them? There had to be. It wasn’t normal to need to be hurt or hurt someone to get off.
Over the weeks, Faith had grown familiar with the sounds of the different implements as they sliced through the air and made impact with flesh. The reactions differed depending on the woman. Some he gagged so that only muffled sounds of distress could be heard. And yet, when they left the dungeon later, they always displayed a peaceful look-as if everything in their world had been set right again. What did Leo do to these women? Faith got a strong sense of the physical things that happened from her perch on the stairs and her earlier tour of the dungeon. The part that was confusing was the end result. They looked… happy when they left. Satisfied. Secure. Confident. What the hell? It didn’t match what she heard. The mewls, the whimpers, the screams and cries and begging for mercy.
Yes, there was sex, or something sexual that resulted in orgasms for both parties, but how could that make up for the rest?
There was something severely wrong with these women. And with Leo. Faith should be happy he’d turned his attention to them and away from her, but every time she heard him utter some endearment or sign of pleasure or satisfaction with the woman at his mercy, a piece of her broke apart. She didn’t want him to do those things to her, but she couldn’t stand for him to do them to someone else.
And this week it was worse, because Miss Lin wasn’t new. She wasn’t a one-off. What if she started coming here every week? Faith couldn’t let that happen, but she didn’t know how she could stop it.
“Faith.”
She looked up, startled to find Leo on the stairs, a rattan cane in his hand. Her crying must have gotten louder than normal, loud enough for him to hear. Faith had been so wrapped in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed when things had gone quiet and Leo had climbed the stairs to investigate.
“Faith? What are you doing here?”
He was still a few steps down from her. Enough that she had space to get up, so she did. She ran up the rest of the stairs, down the hallways, through the entryway, and up another flight to the east wing. She locked the door behind her even though it was useless.
That other woman knew Faith had been there. What must she think? Was she going to be angry about it? Embarrassed?
A moment later, the key turned in the lock and Leo stepped into the room, sucking all the air out. Snowball and Squish hid under the bed. Whether they were responding to his energy or her fear, Faith couldn’t be sure.
She eyed the cane firmly clasped in Leo’s hand. This could be the moment he lost control. She dropped to her knees, her legs not able to support her in the face of what might come next. She held her arms defensively in front of her. “Please, I’m sorry…”
He looked down, as if only now noticing he still held the cane. He crossed the room and set the rattan on the fireplace mantle, then stood next to her while she stared at his shoes, hoping for the moment to end or for Leo to develop amnesia and forget he’d found her crying and pathetic, hiding while listening to everything he did.
“How many times have you been there when I’ve been downstairs with someone?” His voice had softened, but only by a fraction. There was still something in his tone that demanded absolute obedience and honesty or else.
“A-all of them. E-every time a woman has come here.”
“Why?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“That’s bullshit,” he bit out. “Tell me why you were listening.”
She looked up at him, pleading in her eyes. “Leo, please, I’m sorry. I won’t ever do it again.”
“Answer me.”
“I can’t stand you with them,” she blurted. “I can’t watch this. Let me go. Let me leave this place.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?” She chanced a look into his eyes. His expression was hard.
“Won’t. Besides, what would you do now? Your job is long gone.” “I’ll find another one. I’m very qualified for what I do. I’m young.
And I have savings. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you would be. But you aren’t leaving here.” Leo crossed to the intercom box. Faith struggled to stand and sat on the edge of the bed. He watched her briefly, then pressed the white button. “Demetri?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Would you please go untie Miss Lin? I shouldn’t leave her alone like that. Instruct her to stay in the dungeon and wait for my return.”
“Right away, sir.”