I can’t do that. Sure, I wanted to kill Zeke for making me feel the way he did that night, but I wouldn’t do it. It’s not his fault he doesn’t want me. It’s not his fault I was dumb enough to think he would.
Even now, months later, the pain is so fresh. My whole body cringes from humiliation when I remember the look in his eyes. Cold and disgusted, like I was nothing but trash. Like he hated me, or worse, felt sorry for me. I’m still not sure what would be more humiliating.
And ever since, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t know for sure he’s thinking about it. The way he sometimes looks at me-or worse, when he won’t look at me at all. I know why he won’t look at me. And it makes me want to die. If there’s one thing I could go back and change, it would be that night at the pool. I’ll never be able to live it down.
I hurry down the hall, my footsteps muffled by the thick rug running down the length of the passage. Only a few of the rooms up here are used, including the suite Dad gave me when I first moved in. It’s an entire apartment to myself, and I have to admit, I’ll miss it a little. I’ve done everything I could to make it mine, to add little bits of myself to it. It sort of intimidated me at first, but now it feels like home.
And I’m going to have to leave it in just a few days. No warning, but then I didn’t get any warning about the way my life would change after Mom died, either. I might as well be a leaf that fell from a tree and got carried by the wind, eventually landing on the water. And now, all I can do is float, letting the current take me where it thinks I should be.
“Hey, princess.”
My blood turns to ice the instant I hear his voice. There’s always a snicker to it now, like he’s barely managing not to laugh at me. Even if he did laugh, I know there wouldn’t be any humor or kindness in it, more like bitterness and resentment.
I turn to face Zeke, reminding myself for the hundredth time that I can’t think of him the way I used to. My eyes are in the habit of finding all his best features, though, and they never got the memo about us hating him now. That’s why I can’t help but take in his chiseled jaw and slate-gray eyes. Right now, they’re almost stormy, swirling with dangerous energy. His broad shoulders and firm chest. The way his generous mouth ticks upward at the corner, his lips practically begging to be kissed or at least touched. I wonder how soft they would be.
It takes a second for me to snap out of it. This isn’t the sex god of my wildest fantasies-and no matter how much I used to want him, he’s not going to be my first. He will never be anything to me but a jailkeeper.
And he hates me. That alone is reason enough for me to fold my arms the way he does. “I don’t see any princesses around here, so I don’t know who you’re talking to.”
He only rolls his eyes. “Right. Keep telling yourself that, princess.”
“What do you want?”
“I guess he told you. We’re going to be roommates.”
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“So how would you put it?”
“We’ll be sharing a condo. Separate rooms.”
“If you shared a two-bedroom place with anybody else, wouldn’t you call them your roommate?”
He thinks he’s clever like he’s got me backed into a corner or something like that. If there’s one thing he needs to learn about me, it’s that I’m never backed into a corner. Not by somebody like him. “You work for my father. You’re an employee. The live-in nanny.”
His only reaction is a twitch of an eyebrow, the slight tightening of his jaw. “I hope you don’t think just because you’ll be away from him that security is going to loosen up any.”
“What did you have in mind? Shackles?”
“Not a bad idea if you try pulling the sort of shit you’ve been pulling all summer. Thinking you can sneak out when you have to know, I’ll be two steps ahead of you all the time.” Now he does lift an eyebrow, his lips curving in a grin. “And if you’re half as depressed about having to go away to school as you looked coming down the hall, I could tell him all about it, and your problems would be over. He’d never let you out of the house again.”
He would do it, too. All for the sake of getting rid of me. If I was always in the house, he wouldn’t have to watch over me anymore. “What are you trying to say? You can’t handle your job? Is that what this is about, you being afraid of how much harder I’ll make things for you when it’s just the two of us at school?”
“I know how your brain works,” he warns in a low voice that sends a shiver down my spine. “I can practically read your thoughts.”
“You should know better than to talk to me the way you are right now. Or else maybe I’ll have to ask my father to assign somebody else to me. Somebody who can do the job without whining to me about it.”
“That’s what you think this is? You think I’m whining?” Before I know what’s happening, he backs me up against the open bedroom door. There’s so much of him, all at once. His size, the smell of his cologne, the warmth coming from his body. The fine hairs on my arms stand straight up when his hot breath washes over my skin as he leans down. “It’s a warning, princess. The first sign of any of your shit, and he’s going to hear about it.”
My knees threaten to buckle, but I can’t let that happen. The one thing I’ve had on my side all summer is knowing how much Zeke wants to keep this job with my father. Not that I think there are any affectionate feelings on either side or anything like that, but more like he doesn’t want to let Dad down. He’s not a guy you disappoint. Zeke can pretend all he wants, but we both know he would be blamed for anything my father found out about. I might get a tiny slap on the wrist, but that’s it.
Which is why I’m able to lift my chin despite the way my body trembles. “Go ahead and tell him. We’ll see how much longer you have a job once you do. I think we both know it’ll be better if you keep your mouth shut and let me do what I want. I’m going to college. I should be allowed to have my freedom.”
“That’s what you think. But the guy who foots the bill has other ideas, and we both know it.” His voice drops to something closer to a growl, one so deep it makes me wet. “Behave yourself, princess. Otherwise, I’ll have to deal with you myself. And you won’t like that very much.”
I barely have time to catch my breath before he’s gone, disappearing as silently as he appeared in the first place.
And I’m supposed to live with this man with nobody around to keep him in check.
Or to keep me in check.
This can only spell trouble.