April’s POV
The days had blurred together since Cassius last walked into the bar. It was quiet, just the soft clinking of glasses, the low hum of a jukebox in the corner, and the occasional murmur of a conversation. I’d been trying to keep myself busy, focusing on the job, avoiding distractions. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t escape the image of him standing there, looking at me with such vulnerability.
And I hated it.
Every time I thought I’d gotten over it, every time I told myself that I could handle this on my own, there he was again-his face, his voice, his stupid apology.
And yet, there I was, wiping down the counter, waiting. Waiting for him to show up again.
I heard the door swing open. It wasn’t hard to tell who it was-no one moved like that. Cassius.
I didn’t look up, but my body recognized his presence before my mind did. The air shifted heavier, and I gritted my teeth. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t hear him repeat his apology or tell me how much he cared, how he wasn’t going anywhere.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to leave or to stay.
He didn’t speak at first, which made the tension in the room feel unbearable. When he finally did, his voice was steady, with no hint of hesitation. “April.”
I stayed focused on the glass in front of me. “You’re here again,” I said flatly.
“I’m not here for the same reasons, April,” he replied, his voice quieter. “I’ve been thinking about what you said.”
I couldn’t hold back a bitter laugh. “Oh, really?”
He took a step closer, but there was no heat in his movements. Just a slow, deliberate approach. “I knew I hurt you. But I didn’t know how much until I started thinking about everything. I was scared, April. I was scared of what this was, what it meant.”
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to entertain the same tired excuses. But then I felt it-the shift in the air. The subtle change in his tone is something deeper than just guilt or regret.
“I wasn’t ready,” he continued, his voice more raw now. “I didn’t understand how much I needed you until it was too late. I kept running, pushing you away, thinking I could protect myself. But I can’t do that anymore.”
For a moment, I stood there, my heart hammering in my chest, my mind racing. It was different this time. His words didn’t just echo the same old apology. There was something more beneath them, something I hadn’t heard before.
“Cassius,” I whispered, not even realizing I was speaking until the word left my lips. “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”
He stopped just inches away, and the space between us felt like a chasm. “Because I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know how to admit to myself that I wanted you, that I needed you. And by the time I figured it out… I’d already hurt you too much.”
I closed my eyes, trying to control the swirl of emotions inside me. My anger, my hurt-it was all there, but something else was rising, something I didn’t want to acknowledge.
“Cassius, I’m not the same person I was when you walked away,” I said, finally meeting his gaze. “You don’t get to come back and act like everything’s okay. I don’t need you to fix me or make up for what happened. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.”
“I never wanted to fix you,” he said quickly, his voice almost urgent. “I never saw you as something that needed fixing. But I’m not asking for forgiveness. I’m asking for a chance. I’m asking for the chance to show you that I’m not going anywhere this time.”
I took a step back, shaking my head. “You can’t just show me, Cassius. You can’t walk back into my life and expect me to forget everything. That’s not how it works.”
He nodded, understanding that his words weren’t enough. “I know. I know. I’m not trying to make you forget anything. I’m not asking for you to just forgive me and move on. I’m asking for the chance to show you that I can be the man you deserve.”
Damn. He seemed really serious and like he meant every word.
I stared at him, the weight of his words sinking in. He wasn’t asking for everything to go back to normal. He wasn’t asking me to open my arms and welcome him back in without question.
He was asking me for time. For the chance to prove himself.
It was more than I’d expected. It was more than I’d wanted. But it felt like the beginning of something I couldn’t ignore, no matter how much I tried.
Plus I did say I would try to give him a chance.
“I don’t trust you,” I said, my voice trembling slightly despite my best efforts. “I don’t trust you to stay, and I don’t trust you not to leave again. You hurt me, Cassius. And it’s going to take more than just words for me to believe you.”
“I get that,” he said quietly. “And I’m not asking for you to trust me right away. I’m asking for a chance to rebuild that trust. A step at a time. I know it’s not easy, but I’m willing to fight for you, April. For us.”
He was repeating himself, but this time, he was letting me more in, and I got to see this sweet side of him that I had never seen.
He was really trying. Perhaps I could let him in, too. What do you think?
The silence hung between us, and for a second, I almost let myself believe him. Almost.
But the memories, the hurt, the weight of everything I’d been carrying-those didn’t disappear just because he was here now.
Despite how he made my heart beat and how he was constantly on my mind, I had to put myself first and protect myself from him hurting me ever again. I had to put on armor.
“I don’t know if I can give you that chance,” I said, my voice low. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
He stepped back slightly, giving me the space I needed, though his eyes never left me. “I’m not going anywhere. Take your time. I’ll wait. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
For the first time since he’d come back, I felt something-something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe it wasn’t trust, not yet. But it was a crack in the wall I’d built around myself.
And for the first time, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to keep it up, and that fucking scared me.