Chapter 5
LIAM
Shadows stretched their fingers in the corners of my mind, transforming my unease into a palpable anguish. Something was wrong. It was as if a storm had broken loose inside me, a silent scream pleading for help without me being able to utter a word. My connection with Shane, my mate, was fraying, a thread wobbling on the edge of rupture. I felt it fading, and it drove me insane.
Frustration bubbled within me. In a moment of desperation, I transformed. A blink, and there I was: a wolf, strong, wild, but with a lacerating pain in my chest. Gigit, my loyal beta and confidant, looked at me worriedly.
“Liam, get back to your form! This isn’t the solution,” he said, his voice firm but filled with distress.
It was as if the world was crumbling around me. The need to see Shane was overwhelming.
“I can’t!” I roared in my mind, feeling Gigit’s desperation cut through my rage. “She’s left me!” I spoke directly to his mind.
With a furious howl, I lunged forward, tearing apart everything in my path. Tables flew; papers vanished in a whirlwind of chaos. The windows trembled as the uproar resonated against the walls of my office, a symbol of my loss of control.
“You’re a mess, Liam!” Gigit shouted, trying to contain me while attempting to restore order. But it was useless. I barked defiantly, filling the office with a furious and destructive energy.
Finally, Gigit, exhausted from my tantrums, pulled out his phone and called my parents. The worry in his voice echoed like a cry in the silence.
“Rosa, Alec, I need help. Liam… I can’t handle this. He’s out of control. He’s changed into his wolf form, and while it’s normal for us, it’s not normal to see a damn wolf standing at 1. 50 meters wandering through the city. Luckily, he’s come straight to the company, but he’s wrecked his office… Yes… No, she’s gone.” He had deliberately avoided mentioning Shane. But that wasn’t necessary because her memory lived in my mind. I howled again in pain and need for her.
My parents arrived almost immediately, like familiar shadows before the storm. My mother came in with a determined air.
“Liam, what the hell is going on?” she asked, walking towards me firmly. I lazily lifted my head from the floor to look at her, but she wasn’t Shane. So, she didn’t capture my full attention.
“I can’t find her!” I screamed, my voice rumbling like thunder in the mental communication line I shared with my pack. “I can’t feel Shane! She left me! I need her!”
Alec, in his wheelchair, attempted to approach, his gaze filled with deep understanding.
“Son, you need to calm down. We know what you’re feeling, but this won’t help you,” he said with a calmness that always reassured me.
The anger within me intensified.
“They don’t understand! She’s my mate! I’m out of control without her, I need…”
“You have to calm down, Liam!” Gigit interrupted, his voice shaking. “We can help you, but not like this.”
My parents exchanged meaningful glances; they knew that the mating season affected us all. The pack wasn’t complete without our pair, and my anxiety surged like an uncontrolled fire.
“We’re going to take you to your cabin in the woods,” my mother suggested, her voice soft but firm. “There, it will be easier for you to find calm.”
I looked at everyone, struggling against the storm raging in my mind. The cabin. That was where I had grown up, where I had experienced the happiest moments of my life. But the idea of leaving without Shane was almost unbearable.
“Are you sure that will work?” I asked, frustration darkening my words.
“You need it, and we know it,” Alec replied, his voice grave and laden with wisdom. “The nature in the woods, the connection… it will help you find your balance.”
“And to hell with that. The only connection I need is the one with my mate, her warmth, her body, her center… and she’s not here. She’s left me for some strange damn reason.” I growled the words in my mind, toward the connection I shared with the pack.
“She hasn’t left you, son. Shane is in love with you; I can see it.”
“We all see it,” Gigit said. “If you’d just willfully drag your furry butt into the car to go to the cabin, I promise I’ll find her and bring her back from the very hell if she’s there.”
I barked, rising and moving towards him. I think, after all, I will have that fight I need.
“Then find her now! That’s an order!” I commanded from my monstrous height on four legs. Gigit yelped, his wolf becoming restless.
“My duty is to take care of you, sir. I need to keep you safe before looking for her.”
“Son, your beta is right. Let him do his job. This isn’t good for anyone; you’re endangering the entire pack by exposing yourself like this around the city.”
With a growl of resignation, I left the office I had wrecked and stepped into the elevator. Due to my large size, I was the only one getting in. Gigit rushed to press the button for the underground parking lot and then tossed me a blanket.
“Don’t forget to change, or you won’t fit in the car!” he shouted as the doors were closing.
I slumped against the car seat, the fury still pulsing in every vein, as my thoughts spun around Shane and the lost connection that made my heart feel empty. Gigit entered with a loud thud; the engine roared to life as he turned the key slowly, as if he had to take me to a place where no storm could touch me.
The parking light reflected on his face, and for a moment, I saw my best friend, but also my protector. Gigit had a determined look and understood that what I needed was not just calm, but to recover my mate. Why have you abandoned me, Shane? By all the Nordic gods, I thought we were okay. She will destroy me when she finds out what I am. If she doesn’t accept me, she will be my death.
As we left the garage and passed through a world that didn’t seem real amidst my anguish, the sky was clear, and the stars shone brightly, as if there were a part of the universe that was still perfect despite my internal chaos.
I nodded as we headed down the road leading to the woods, and the need to return to the cabin became more palpable. Upon reaching a red light, Gigit took a deep breath and turned to me.
“Liam, I know this isn’t easy, but you have to believe that everything will be okay. We’re going to find Shane.”
His words resonated within me with an echo that sought comfort. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the incipient calm of the night begin to take over me, but still, there was a pressure in my chest; the mate bond I used to feel with Shane was weakening, and that was what scared me the most. My pup’s scent was gone.
As we drove along the rural road, every bump in the road reminded me how fragile my state was. The cabin was far from city life, and the closer we got, the more I felt responsible for the storm caused by her absence.
When we finally arrived at the cabin’s parking lot, the dusk welcomed me with a sense of familiarity. It was a refuge that had housed many laughs, happy moments, and starry nights. However, the dark reality of my situation opened a deeper wound.
Gigit turned to me once more, this time with a serious expression.
“Are you ready to transform?” he asked, and his tone was that of a friend who understood how much it cost me to even speak right now in my human form.
I slowly nodded, feeling the wolf inside me struggle to surface again, to take control, and I willingly gave it to him. The transformation was a process that was never easy, but the burden of the wolf was much harder without Shane by my side. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling every muscle in my body shift. I felt Gigit get out of the car before opening the door for me, to avoid damaging the vehicle. As soon as I jumped out, I was already transformed and running through the woods. It was always easier this way; I could pick up on any slightest sound around me. My bond with the pack is stronger this way, and the waves of supportive whispers reached me, so I try to distance myself from the voices.
“I’ll leave the cabin door open!” Gigit shouted from a distance.
“Thanks, buddy.”
“Just don’t stray too far. I need to go.”
“Will you bring her?”
“Only if you promise not to harm her.”
“Never. She’s my mate; I would never hurt her.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear. I’ll bring her to you.”
The mental communication with Gigit cut off as I heard the car fading into the distance.