ALESSIA
“Why were you talking to that person?” I asked Adrian as we stood in the elevator, heading back to our room after the reception. My heart raced with anxiety. Claude had approached Adrian, and it made me uneasy. What if he suspected something about our son? I couldn’t risk it. We needed to leave now.
It felt as if all the things that I feared were just projected right before my eyes. I knew what Claude could do, to think that he had all the connections and the resources. He was a selfish man, he took everyone under him as his possessions. The way he treated me like something with zero values remained in my memory. I didn’t want such treatment to be upon my son.
Originally, I had planned for us to stay at the couple’s house after the wedding. It seemed like a convenient arrangement while we searched for a doctor to examine Adrian. But seeing Claude talking to him changed everything. I couldn’t bear the thought of facing Claude, not knowing what to say or how to explain Adrian’s existence.
Nervously, I decided to forgo bidding farewell to Maven. Instead, we would call her later once we found another place to stay. It meant dipping into our savings, redirecting funds from Adrian’s medical needs to our accommodation. It wasn’t ideal, but it is necessary.
Unable to afford the Starlight Hotel anymore, we opted for a cheaper one. And it wasn’t just about finances; it was also about safety. The hotel owner might know Claude, making it easier for him to track us down.
I never felt safe when I was with Claude even if my body longed for him, even when I was already falling for him. I could still recall every bit of pain that he made me feel when I heard him discussing our separation to his parents. Just the thought of him being around me and my son had already broadened my paranoia.
“Uncle Claude seems nice,” Adrian remarked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I shot him a stern look, surprised by his comment. I didn’t correct Adrian’s reference to Claude as “nice.” It was safer that way.
“You still don’t fully know him, dear. He might have ill intentions toward you. He might suddenly take you away. He might separate you from mommy. Do you want that to happen?”
Adrian shook his head vigorously. “No, I don’t want to be separated from you,” he said, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
It struck me how isolated Adrian was from others. He was used to just me and Nanny Pia. But seeing him talking to Claude so casually was unsettling. Maybe it was the natural bond between a father and son, but I couldn’t take any chances.
“In that case, avoid that person. Don’t talk to him anymore, okay?”
As much as I wished for them to bond, I couldn’t risk Claude discovering the truth. He might try to take Adrian away from me, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. We had struggled together, and I wouldn’t allow us to be separated, no matter the cost.
“Yes, mommy.”
Gathering our belongings, we swiftly left the hotel lobby, ignoring the looks of confusion from the staff. Spotting a taxi waiting outside, we hurriedly boarded.
“Where to, ma’am?” the driver asked once we were seated.
“To the nearest motel, sir. One with affordable rates,” I replied, noting the slight surprise in the driver’s expression. He probably assumed I had plenty of money, having just left an expensive hotel. Little did he know, we had stayed there for free the past two days. I couldn’t afford the hotel rate, not even the cheapest room.
If my parents were still alive, maybe they could have afforded it. But they were gone, leaving me with only Adrian and Nanny Pia. I hadn’t seen Lia and Aunt Edith since arriving at the Robinson mansion.
The taxi stopped in front of a motel after a few minutes. I paid the fare and ushered Adrian inside. Approaching the receptionist, I greeted her.
“Good afternoon, ma’am!” she greeted warmly.
“Good afternoon! Do you have any available rooms? We want to check in for three days.”
“Ma’am, do you want a single room or a double room?”
“Just a single room. My son and I can share the bed,” I replied, almost adding that we could sleep on the floor or sofa if needed.
“Alright, ma’am,” she said, informing me of the rate.
I paid immediately and received the room key. With another staff member, we made our way to the second floor.
Arriving at the room, I quickly placed our belongings on the floor. The bed is small, but it would suffice for me and Adrian. There was only a single sofa, a bedside table, and a built-in cabinet.
“Are we going to live here, Mom?” Adrian asked, sitting on the sofa.
“Yes, dear. But only temporarily. Once the doctor checks you, we’ll go home. Grandma Pia is waiting for us.”
Adrian had been complaining of difficulty breathing lately. He had a congenital heart disease, but lately, it seemed medication wasn’t enough. He might need surgery.
“Don’t worry, son. We’ll find a new doctor to help you get better. God won’t abandon you. He loves you very much.”
“Mom, I don’t want to die yet. I want to see my dad,” Adrian said, his voice full of hope.
I was surprised by Adrian’s words. He mentioned his father for the first time, something he hadn’t shown interest in before. We hadn’t talked about his dad. I never mentioned the word “dad” when we talked, and I had even asked Nanny Pia not to bring it up.
How could I deprive him of having a father. My fear has taken over me entirely to the extent that I had been being selfish to my son.
“Dad? Which dad are you talking about?” I asked, feeling a lump form in my throat. How did he hear that word? I couldn’t avoid the truth forever. Eventually, Adrian would seek out his father.
“All children have a mom and a dad. So you have a dad, my child. But… he’s not here. He’s far away, working,” I explained, trying to find the right words.
“When will he come home then? When will we see each other?” Adrian’s innocent questions were difficult to answer. I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want to give him false hope.
“I don’t know yet, son. But maybe it’s better for you to get better first so when you meet your dad, he’ll be happy to see you. He won’t find it difficult to take care of you when you finally meet,” I said, hoping to comfort him.
“Really, Mom? Will I see Dad?” Adrian’s hopeful tone tugged at my heart.
“Yes, my child. Soon,” I lied, knowing it might not be true. But what mattered most was Adrian’s well-being. His health is my priority, and I needed to find a good doctor for him.
That night, Adrian fell asleep first. As I lay beside him, my phone rang. It was Maven calling.
“Hello!”
“Alessia, where you at? Why did you suddenly disappear? You left the hotel without even saying goodbye!”
I covered my ears when Maven’s sharp voice came through the phone.
“Wait, tone down your voice. I’ll explain,” I said as I got off the bed and sat by the window. I wanted to sit on the couch, but I didn’t want to disturb Adrian. So I moved a bit farther away and lowered my voice. I couldn’t step outside in case Adrian woke up and got upset seeing me gone from the room.
“Yeah! You need to explain to me right now!”
“Sorry if I didn’t inform you personally. You were busy. We needed to leave because I thought we might be an inconvenience to you way too much already. It would be embarrassing for both of you.”
“Wow! Now you’re embarrassed. Didn’t we already discuss this? Zeke agreed to let you stay with us while you look for a doctor for Adrian. What changed your mind?”
“I thought it would be embarrassing for your husband. We might stay longer in your care, so it’s better for us to find our own place. At least we won’t be bothering other people.”
“Huh? Your pride is acting up again. You’re annoying! Do what you want. But if you need help, just call me.”
“Sure. Thanks, my friend.”
“By the way, where are you now? Where are you staying? Did you go back home?”
“We’re at a motel. We’ll move to another place once I find a doctor. If we stay longer, I might go back home. I’m not sure yet.”
“Okay. Just keep me updated, okay?”
“Sure. But aren’t you and Zeke leaving? You’re going to Europe, right?”
“Yes, he said we’re going on our honeymoon in Italy. I didn’t want to because it’s just an expense. We’ve been together for a long time already. But he insisted. He said maybe I’ll get pregnant if we both take a vacation for a few weeks.”
“Your husband has a point. Who knows, you might conceive your baby there.”
“I hope so. Oh, by the way, Zeke has a friend who’s asking about you. He’s looking for you through me. And he has so many questions.”
My senses went numb. Was Maven referring to Claude?
“Hey, friend! Are you still there?”
“Ah, yes.”
“Do you know Claude Xavier Robinson? He’s the one who was bothering me earlier. He bombarded me with questions, even more than a reporter.”
I thought maybe Maven had already forgotten the name of my husband. I was sure that I once mentioned it to her before. But years had already passed, I wish I had forgotten him now the way my bestfriend did.
I bit my lower lip. Maven couldn’t see me, but I couldn’t lie to her.
“Maven, Claude is my ex-husband.”
“Whaaat? Does that mean… he’s Adrian’s father?”
I hesitated, then concocted a lie.
“N-no! Of course not! My child with Claude died a few weeks after I conceived. I fell down the stairs and had a miscarriage,” I said, hoping Maven would believe it. I couldn’t risk revealing the truth about Adrian to her. It could reach Claude, and I didn’t know what he might do if he found out we had a child together. So, I chose to play it safe.
A lie to cover up the truth, at least for me. I wish I could find a safe haven for me and for my son. I was sure my son deserved the truth, I didn’t want him to grow up living in all these lies.
“So, if it’s not Claude, who is Adrian’s father? Did you have another relationship after you broke up?” Maven’s question pierced through the phone.
I looked up at the ceiling, hoping to find some answers there. “I had a… one-night stand with a stranger a few months after the miscarriage,” I lied, hoping Maven would accept my fabricated story.
“Oh! Is that so? And you didn’t see that man again after spending one night with him?”
“That’s exactly what happened. I didn’t even know his name.”
“Uh-uh? That’s bad. I’ll tell Claude about it if he bothers me again.”
“Thank you, my dear. And please, don’t give him my number. I don’t want to see or talk to him at all.”
“Okay. I won’t ask why you two broke up. I’ll just wait for you to tell me. But if you need help, just call me.”
“Thanks. I’ll remember that. Take care on your trip. Good night!”
“You too. Take care of yourself and Adrian. Give him a kiss for me. Good night too!”
I ended the call with a bitter smile. I hoped Claude wouldn’t bother me anymore. I didn’t want any further connection with my ex-husband.