ALESSIA
I got into all these because I wanted to save my sister. Falling for Claude was not part of the plans. Everything that he had been doing was just to make me feel that I got nothing to hope for in this marriage.
“I won’t be able to pick you up later because I have a meeting at six. Just take a cab to get home,” Claude told me as he dropped me off at school.
“Okay,” I responded weakly before stepping out of the car.
I didn’t notice how many steps I had already taken after getting off his car. What he told me had just occupied me, and I felt that the world around me just stopped.
I was not planning to digest that he was meeting someone at six. Clearly, meeting someone outside work hours was not work related at all. I knew that I had been thinking way too much already, but I just couldn’t help it.
When I got to my classroom, Maven was waiting for me.
“Rough morning? You’re frowning already,” Maven noticed as I sat next to her.
I just told her that I was fine. I knew she was not convinced. I guessed I was not really good at lying as much as I was not good at keeping my emotions. I saw Maven moving a little closer to my location and that she noticed the tears that I was trying to hold back.
“Hold your tears, Sia. Our instructor’s coming,” Maven urged.
Sniffing, I tried to pull myself together. I didn’t want to be caught crying by the professor. Why was I crying over Claude? I had so many other worries, like my sister Lia, who I hadn’t heard from. I knew I should focus on her, but Claude’s actions hurt me. He infuriates me!
There were so many instances that I had with Claude when I didn’t allow him to see me cry. I knew I could not hide my fear around him, but I would never give him the privilege of seeing my tears
I even thought of the other men, there were plenty of them actually, who were interested in me. Garet was just one of them. I thought that gaslighting was the least I could do to tame all these emotions caused by the fact that I was jealous.
I could only wish that the agreement also covered banning Claude from seeing someone during the duration of our agreed marriage. At least he would have no other choice but to focus on me. However, the mere thought of it was frightening me. I must admit that I felt relieved when he was not around, but I could never deny that I could not stand the fact that he might be seeing someone when he was not around.
The saying, “the heart wants what it wants” felt painfully true. Rationally, I was trying to convince myself that the only reason I was feeling this way was because it was exactly what my brain warned my heart about.
After our afternoon class, Maven invited me to the mall. Maven needed an outfit for her dinner date with her fiance the next night, and I agreed to come along.
We caught a taxi to the mall and headed straight to the department store.
“Don’t you have any money? Pick something you like too,” Maven told me.
I scratched my head, uncertain. “I don’t have any money. My mother-n-law covers the expenses. She gave me a card after Claude and I got married.”
Maven’s eyebrow shot up in surprise. “Oh! Even if it’s not your own money, it’s still money. Spend it. You’re at the mall, look at all these clothes. Aren’t you jealous of my shopping spree?”
I chuckled at her comment. “I’m not jealous because I have a ton of clothes at home. Almost half of Claude’s walk-in closet is filled with my stuff. Even if I wore a new outfit every day for two months, I wouldn’t get through all of it.”
Maven looked at me skeptically. “Really? Is that true?”
“Yes, totally. Next time, I’ll record a video of the walk-in closet so you can see it yourself. I found it on my first day at Claude’s mansion.”
“Alright, alright. I’d love to see that. If it’s true, your husband must be really rich. What’s his name again?”
“His name is Claude Xavier Robinson. He’s the eldest son of the owners of Artisan Furnitures.”
Maven stopped looking at the items and stared at me, seeming thoughtful. “Artisan Furnitures? I don’t think I know that company.”
“From what I know, Claude’s company is a big exporter of wooden furniture. They sell not just in the US, but also in Asia and Europe.”
“Wow! No wonder your husband’s wealthy! He must be a billionaire, right?”
I just shrugged, showing I didn’t care much about Claude’s money. I didn’t marry him for his wealth. I felt obligated to his parents, which was why I agreed to the marriage. I never expected to fall in love with him.
I wish I had the ability to read Claude’s mind. I wish I could also see what’s inside his heart. There were moments when I would be carried away with the thoughts that he might be falling for me too, and that all the painful things that he did to me was just his way to divert his feelings. Claude was a wise man, he could get away from distancing himself from me without his parents noticing it.
There was just something about how he made me feel everytime he claimed me. I felt it. Those weren’t just lust, it was something that my own body had a weird reaction with – something I longed, something I always missed.
Those thoughts were the exact reason why I was suffering right now. I knew that I was just convincing myself, trying to cope with all the pain by assuming that Claude’s feelings were the exact opposites of his emotions.
“I hope Zeke becomes rich like that too.” Referring to her fiance. “It must be nice to buy whatever you want.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Not all rich people are happy. There are things money can’t buy. You can get clothes, jewelry, food, houses, and cars, but not happiness.”
Maven raised an eyebrow, looking puzzled. “Well, aren’t you deep? Is something bothering you, Sia?”
I smiled bitterly. “You’ll understand when you’re with your fiance. It’s hard to be in a relationship where only one person loves the other. Are you sure he loves you and wants to marry you? And what about you? Do you love him?”
Maven took a deep breath, trying to be honest. “To be honest, Zeke is marrying me out of obligation. But for me, it was love at first sight when we met. I hope I can make him fall in love with me while we’re together. If we don’t, we’ve agreed to part ways after a year.”
I bit my lower lip, worried. “That’s tough. I hope you and Zeke can make it work and stay together. Make the most of your time. I’m facing the same thing with Claude, and I’m struggling.”
Maven gently squeezed my hand. “We’ll both do our best for love and marriage,” she reassured with a forced smile.
After Maven bought some clothes, she suggested we grab a snack before heading home. I agreed, and we headed to a fast-food place. But on the way, I stopped suddenly. I had spotted Claude at a nearby coffee shop with a beautiful woman. I recognized the woman but couldn’t place where I’d seen her before. When I saw the woman feeding Claude cake, my heart sank seeing how happy they looked together.
Was this the dinner date Claude mentioned? The sight of them together made my heart ache. Who was this woman?
“Sia, are you okay? You look pale,” Maven’s voice broke through my thoughts.
Startled, I turned to my friend. “Let’s just go home. I’ve lost my appetite,” I said, trying to hide my feelings.
“Oh! What’s wrong? Okay, let’s head back. I’ll have dinner at home.”
Maven gently tugged me, and we started moving. Before leaving, I glanced back at Claude. Our eyes met, but his expression was blank, like he didn’t recognize me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned away and followed my friend.
In the cab, I tried to hold back my tears, not wanting Maven to see me upset. What would my friend think? The former bully, now deceived by her husband. It seemed like karma had finally caught up with me. Karma truly was cruel.
“Goodbye, Sia! See you tomorrow,” Maven said, smiling as she got out of the cab.
I forced a smile. “Take care! I’ll cover the fare.”
I wanted to be kind to my friend, knowing how much Maven had wanted a snack earlier. I wanted one too, but seeing Claude with another woman had killed my appetite. Confronting Claude felt pointless; I feared he would side with the other woman. Fighting felt like a losing battle.
I remembered how I had lost Jaime to Nienna despite my efforts. It had brought me to tears back then. Now, facing a similar situation with Claude, I knew my place. Even as his legal wife, I felt like I was the other woman in Claude’s eyes. I decided to endure, hoping my husband would eventually love me. It wasn’t unreasonable to hope, considering I was the one he married. With the support of Claude’s parents, I wasn’t alone in this fight.
When I got back to the mansion, I quickly changed clothes and joined my in-laws for dinner. Later, I returned to the room I shared with Claude. I couldn’t sleep, so I lay on the bed, restless. To distract myself, I picked up a book. Reading helped me focus on something other than my troubling thoughts. By around ten o’clock, my eyes grew heavy, and I put the book down, deciding to sleep before Claude came home. I didn’t want to face him or pretend I didn’t know what I saw earlier.
As I said, confronting Claude would be pointless, leading to an argument I couldn’t win. Claude always had excuses that went unchallenged. If we were lawyers in court, he’d always outshine me. His reasoning skills were superior.
So, I decided to pretend to be asleep, despite the pain in my heart. Maybe by morning, the hurt would lessen, and my anger would fade. Not all battles were meant to be won. What mattered was the effort, even if it ended in defeat.
I had no idea how long I’d been asleep when I suddenly woke up. I stayed still, keeping my back to the door, lying on Claude’s usual side of the bed. I heard the door open and the water running in the bathroom, signaling Claude’s return. What time was it?
Still sleepy, I closed my eyes again, trying to fall back asleep. Just before drifting off, I felt someone get into bed and a hand wrapping around me, fingers tangling in my hair. The familiar scent of Claude’s shower gel and shampoo filled my senses.
Through my tears, I smiled. There was still hope. Change was possible. I just had to be patient. Resolutions would come, maybe not tomorrow, but perhaps in a week or a month. I couldn’t give up hope. I clung to the small flicker of optimism.
As they say, tomorrow brings a new day and a new hope.