POV: Victoria
“I know, I know…
It was so stupid of me, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just wanted to get Claire out. I should never have lied to you, Raphael. U was so stupid, it’s all my fault!” I confessed, tears prickling the corners of my eyes.
“I didn’t think. I was just… lost. I still am. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I thought I had it all figured out, I used to think that am strong enough to handle any challenge that life throws at me. But I don’t think I can do it anymore, I’m tired and broken. I’m hanging on a thin thread here, I’m barely holding it together as it is.
If I happen to face a more frustrating event alone, I may lose my sanity, Raphael. I don’t know how you do it, I don’t know how you do everything for your family without complaints. How do you don’t?” I asked him, my voice calm but curious, with a bit of seduction to my words. I think I’m beginning to love and appreciate him more and value his presence even more.
Silence stretched between us again, and I could hear the muffled sound of his breathing. I don’t know why I thought of him the moment I faced disappointment and heartache. His heart was beating faster, and so was mine. I think mine is even louder than his because I felt so nervous when I was talking to him. And while we were still talking, I started fantasizing about him, missing his presence. I can’t even believe that I’m missing a guy this much.
“What is wrong with me, Ralph?
Why am I so emotional when um around you, why do you make me feel so special?” I asked with a smile, wishing in my heart that he was here with me. I’m beginning to doubt my background, I don’t think I came from that family. I have nothing in common with my mom and dad, not even my hair color matches theirs. It’s a miracle how I was put in her womb again. I have no idea how I found myself to be the daughter of that evil villain, a man who would prefer to see us dead than to share the company shares with us.
“You seem to know how to balance your feelings and your affairs with your family. Help me please, teach me how to use submissive and loyal to you. I want to learn, Raphael. I want to be able to stand up to my bullies, I want to be strict and fearless, just like you. I want you to teach me, Raphael, I still need you by my side, please.” I confessed. Although, I’m not really saying the whole truth as it is in my heart. I’m just using different methods to get him to come back home to me.
I’m trying to get him to stay around me always, I want him to stay by my side in the guise of teaching me how to be mean and strict. I would use this as an excuse to be with him for the next few days. I would do anything to be with him right now, I would give anything to have him. That’s how much I miss him, that’s how much I love him.
It seems my love for him is getting more obvious and now I have to make him believe that I’m truly sorry. I tried as much as possible to keep him longer on the phone. He pauses for a while, refusing to respond to me. I felt a bit nervous, I thought he would get angry and yell at me for admitting that I care about him. I was already thinking of different excuses to give if he loses his temper with me again.
I could still hear his heartbeat through the receiver and it sounded like music to my ears.
“I miss you,” he finally admitted, his voice softer than before, laced with vulnerability. I screamed in excitement as this was the first time he was sharing his feelings with anyone after the death of his wife. I’m so lucky to be the one he is sharing his heart with.
“I miss you too,” I responded, a fragile hope lighting within me, my eyes glistening with affection for this guy, this one guy that has swept me off my feet.
“I just… I need help. I don’t even know where my mom is, and my sister-she’s still missing. I’m scared to face this alone. I don’t know what to do. Please come back home to me. I miss you and I need you,” I confessed sadly, putting the sadness in my tone for them to see. He took another breath, deeper this time. She held onto it, hoping it would bridge the distance. But he is still far away from home and she misses him so much.
“I need you, Ralph. I need you by my side. Please come back to me,” I keep asking him repeatedly, begging him so much. At this point, I’m beginning to think that I’m no longer talking with my senses. I could lie to everyone, but certainly not to myself. If I’m being honest with myself would admit that I’m not just calling him back to cry on his shoulders, Nah.
I don’t just need someone to talk to or someone to learn from. I need someone to hold and kiss me, reminding me that everything will be alright. I want someone to make me feel like I’m the most beautiful girl on this planet. I don’t just miss his presence, I miss his touch, his kisses, and his caresses.
“I’m driving home to you. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said finally, the edge of his anger fading, replaced with concern. I almost jumped up from the bed I was sitting on when he agreed. I almost yelled at the top of my voice and did a happy dance. This will be so exciting, I’m about to forget all the bullshit dad told me.
“I can’t wait, Raphael!
I miss you so much. It feels as if we have been apart for ages, I’m so excited to welcome you back home.” I teased excitedly. It does feel as if I have not seen him for a long time, I guess talking to my parents is affecting me more than I realize.
“I can remedy that, I’ll make up for all the time I was away,” he promises, making me even more excited.
“Just… don’t make any more decisions without me.” He warned sternly, warning me like a child. I should be pissed, but I fucking love it. I guess I’m willing to accept anything he throws at me this time, as long as he comes back home like he promised. I’m angry and sad, only him can help lighten my mood.