Chapter 46
Valerie’s POV
I sit alone inside the train, resting my head on the window glass, lost in a sea of pain. The city streets blur around me, a cacophony of sounds and faces that mean nothing. My heart feels like it’s been ripped apart, leaving a gaping hole that can never be filled.
I keep replaying the image in my mind Damian, the man I love, lying in bed with another woman. The memory sears my brain like a branding iron, impossible to shake.
How could he?
Tears stream down my face, hot and relentless. I don’t bother wiping them away; what’s the point? My world has been shattered, and I’m left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.
I thought we had something real. Something true.
But it was all a lie.
I feel like I’m drowning, suffocating under the weight of my own despair. Every breath hurts, every thought a fresh stab of agony.
I look around aimlessly, hours passing without my notice. Within an hour, we got to Texas. The train stopped and I got down, carrying my little luggage. I hailed a cab, told the driver about my destination and got into the car weakly. I was so tired, I just needed to rest.
*******
“Hey Tracy, I’ve gotten to the house. Are you at home?” I asked when I called her.
“Not yet. I’m still on duty. The key is on the window sill by the left side. Please make yourself at home. I’ll be back soon.” She said.
Tracy was a nurse in one of the biggest hospitals in Texas. She had been my friend from childhood.
I got into the apartment and went straight into the room. Eventually, exhaustion forces me to seek refuge in the room. The silence envelops me like a shroud, a grim reminder of my isolation. I collapse onto the bed, surrounded by memories of Damian and me. Hugs, gifts, whispers of a love that never existed.
I grab a pillow, holding it tight as if it might fill the void within me. But it’s just a pillow, empty and hollow.
Why did I trust him?
Why did I love him?
The questions haunt me, echoing through my mind like a cruel mantra.
I thought I knew him. I thought he loved me. But love is a lie. It’s a fragile, fleeting thing, shattered by the slightest betrayal. And I’m left to pick up the pieces.
The darkness closes in, a suffocating blanket that threatens to consume me. I curl into a ball, letting the tears consume me.
I don’t know how long I cry, but eventually, exhaustion claims me. Before long, these thoughts lure me to sleep. Sleep wraps around me like a fragile lifeline, pulling me under.
But even in sleep, the pain lingers. Nightmares haunt me visions of Damian and Claire, their faces twisted in cruel laughter.
How long has this been going on between them? How long have I been a fool?
I woke when I heard a sound at the door. Tracy must have returned. I remained in bed, pushing the covers up to my chin.
“Valerie, I’m back. You’re running a fever.” She observed, touching my forehead and neck.
“Hey, I’m fine. It’s probably because of the weather. It’s been a while since I last saw you. You’ve grown so fat!” I said giving her a hug.
“Baby, fill me in. What exactly happened?”
“Damian…he cheated on me. Just a week to our wedding!” I blurted out, tears welling up in my eyes once more.
“Oh…Baby, I’m so sorry.” She clasped my head with her hands and drew me in for a hug. I ended up crying on her shoulders, feeling a new surge of relief after shedding torrent of tears.
Tears flow freely as I recount the events. Tracy listens, indignation burning in her eyes.
“You deserve better,” she declares.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You can stay here for as long as you need, okay? Come on, let’s go have dinner.” She said.
*********
I wake with a start, gasping for air, my heart racing. It’s morning.
A new day.
But what’s the point?
The world outside seems bright and cheerful, oblivious to my suffering.
I don’t want to face it. I don’t want to face anything. I burrow under the blankets, hiding from the world.
But the memories won’t leave me alone. Damian’s smile. His laughter. His lies.
They haunt me, echoing through my mind like a cruel refrain.
I thought I was strong. I thought I could handle heartbreak.
But this?
This is different.
This is annihilation.
I’m not sure how long I can survive like this lost, broken, and alone.
The thought sends a fresh wave of panic through me.
What if I never heal?
What if this pain never fades?
The questions swirl, taunting me. But for now, I’m trapped in this abyss. And I don’t know how to escape.
************
For the next two days, Tracy distracted me with Texas adventures beach walks, hikes, and laughter-filled nights.
But the pain still lingers, hidden beneath the surface.
One evening, as we watched the sunset over the Pacific. Tracy turned to me.
“Valerie, you need to face this eventually.”
I nod, knowing she’s right.
“But for now, let’s just enjoy the escape.”
Tracy smiles.
“We’ll get through this together.”
The hours blend together in a haze of sunshine and laughter. Tracy’s warmth and support envelop me, a balm to my battered heart.
We explore LA’s hidden gems quaint cafes, vintage shops, and scenic hikes. With each new experience, I feel my grip on reality tightening.
The next afternoon, as we lounge by the pool, Tracy broaches the subject.
“Val, have you thought about what you want to do next?”
I shrugged “I don’t know. I just know I need time.”
She nodded. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you need. But maybe consider therapy or counseling?”
I hesitated, unsure.
Tracy’s expression turns serious. “You deserve closure, Valerie. And healing.”
Her words resonate deep within me.
That evening, I research local therapists and schedule a session.
Dr. Patel’s kind eyes and gentle demeanor put me at ease.
“Tell me about Damian,” she says, her voice soft.
The words spill out our relationship, the betrayal, my anguish.
Dr. Patel listens attentively, nodding.
“You’re experiencing grief, Valerie. It’s normal.”
Grief.
The word echoes within me. I realize I’ve been running from my emotions, afraid to confront the pain.
Dr. Patel’s guidance helps me face my feelings, slowly unraveling the tangled threads.
With each session, I gain clarity. I began to see Damian’s actions as a reflection of his own issues, not mine. My self-worth starts to rebuild.
Tracy noticed the change.
“You’re smiling more,” she said one evening, beaming.
I nodded, feeling a sense of hope.
“I’m starting to heal.”
*******
One evening, my mum called me. I just hope she won’t start talking about Damian. I have not even disclosed what transpired between Damian and I to them.
“Mummy, how have you been?” I asked.
“I’m good. You know that your wedding is in four days. Who is going to be your chief bridesmaid?” She asked, her tone changing to excitement.
“Mum, there will be no wedding.” I said drily.
“Valerie, don’t start. We have gonw through this over and over again. If it’s a prank…”
“Mum, I’m being serious. I’m not getting married to Damian because he is a liar and a cheat. Perhaps, you can compensate them with something else but that marriage will not happen.” I declared.
She was quiet for a while, probably digesting what I blurted out.
“Baby, tell me what happened. Where are you now? Can you come to the house?” She asked, her voice laced with worry.
“I saw him in bed with another woman, Mum. A few days to our wedding. If he loved me, would he do that? No, Mum. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to heal and forget about him. I’m sorry. But I think you should call him instead and hear whatever he has to say.”
“Alright Baby, but you haven’t answered my question yet. Where are you now?”
“I’m with Tracy. In Texas. I don’t know when I’ll return. But I plan to stay here for a while.” I said.
“Alright dear. Just be fine. I’ll call you again in the evening. I know how must be feeling and I’m sorry to put you through this. But don’t worry, you will pass this phase. Take good care of yourself, okay?” she said.
“Alright Mum, I will.” As the call ended, I burst into fresh tears again.
An hour later, I received a text from another different number. It read:
“Hey Love, I’ve missed you so much. Could you at least take my calls? I really want to explain to you what happened that day. It’s not what you think. I was set up. I have been calling you for days now. I even checked at your apartment. Please give me another chance, Baby. _ Dammy.
A set up? Does he think I’m stupid? But deep down, a part of me felt like he was say the truth. But how will I face him again?”