Tristan
It’s been over an hour since Isabella’s breakdown, I didn’t know what had happened or if I had done something wrong to her.
“Muffin,” I whispered barely enough to hear me, but I could still hear her crying. I rested my back on the door, sitting down there heartbroken.
“I made her cry,” I said silently, rubbing my palms while I waited for her to calm down. I sat there thinking about how the whole event turned out to be this.
“Does she still hate me?” I feared it even though deep down I still felt like that was a possibility.
“Haven’t I convinced her yet?” I thought to myself. I sighed recalling when she popped the idea of this honeymoon, and I was just reluctant at first, but decided to do it because she seemed pretty excited about it.
And when we got here, it was nothing but fun and filled with happiness. We had become close, we had a bond. There was a connection and we had finally gotten comfortable with each other.
“But what happened again? Did I confess too early? Did she feel rushed?” I was still thinking when I heard the clanging sounds of the keys on the door making me stand abruptly.
“Muffin,” I called but got no response, so I decided to push the door open, and truly it was open, so I slowly walked in.
“Love,” I called out and stared around the sitting area but she wasn’t in there.
“Isabel,” I said calmly and walked into the room, there she was crying profusely packing her clothes from the wardrobe into her suitcase.
“Isabella,” I was frightened by what I saw as I rushed to her, collecting the clothes she had on her hands.
“What’s going on? Why are you packing?” I asked her, even though reasonably she was packing to leave, but I didn’t understand why, and neither could I pinpoint a reason that would make her behave this way, unless my supposed grand gesture and I love you Miami, had made her spiral in this way.
“I can’t do this? I just can’t,” her body was visibly shaking as she tried to take the clothes away from my hand.
“I don’t understand muffin,” my heart ached.
“Please talk to me, tell me what’s happening,” I pressed on, holding her by her arms as she just continued to shake her head.
“I can’t do this,” She lamented.
“Please muffin, talk to me,” I begged her, my hands went down to hers, but she pulled away instantly
“You can’t love me,” She fell on the bed, and immediately grabbed the tissues on the bed, using it to clean her eyes.
“What?” I was taken aback by her words, but it was also the confirmation that this was actually about me confessing to her.
“Why not? Why can’t I love you,” My heart sank, and my voice came out low cause I feared the next thing she might say. I was scared that it might hurt me even more. It might be so deranged that I might run mad if she says something I can’t bear.
“I can’t promise you an eternity together. You can’t choose to love me forever, you shouldn’t?” I watched her lips quiver, and this time I could see the pain and fear in her eyes.
She was scared. She looked completely terrified, she looked shaken at the moment. But in her gaze, not for a moment did I see the look of hatred in her eyes, not for once did she look at me like she was displeased with my presence. She looked troubled.
“Muffin,” I walked to her and pulled her in a right hug. I pulled her into my embrace, holding onto her, and patting her back until she relaxed.
“Let me go, Tristan,” she said but I wasn’t going to listen to her. I was going to take those fears away, she needed reassurance and I was going to tell her that I would always be here.
“You can’t be in love with me Tristan, you need to stop” She whispered.
“I’m not going to stop, muffin,” I whispered to her.
“I know it’s scary, I know there is barely any assurance as it just mere words in your ears. But how I feel for you is not going to change or stop if you ask me to,” I stated calmly.
“What if there’s no forever? What if something happens to me, will you just stick to moving me? What if tomorrow just maybe something happens to me and because of your love for me, you become miserable and,” She cried.
“Oh muffin,” I pulled away from the high and kissed her forehead.
“No such thing would happen. I’m going to be by your side, with you at all times,” I looked at her, using my thumbs to clean her eyes.
“Tristan,” She called my name amid tears.
“Yes love” I responded, staring at her lips as she spoke.
“You said you’ll do anything for me, right?” She finally lifted her head to look at me.
“Absolutely. Anything for you muffin,” I said truthfully.
“Then can you do something for me, if I ask you to?” Her eyes blinked rapidly and I wondered what she wanted.
“Anything love,” I told her simply.
“Don’t love me,” She faced me so intensely as she said those words, and it felt like I had been pierced through the heart upon hearing that.
“Pardon?” I refuse to believe I heard correctly.
“Do not love me,” She repeated like it was that easy.
“I can’t do that,” I told her simply.
“Then you lie, you wouldn’t do anything for me,” She said, and my hands grip the sheet.
Did she realize what she’s asked me to do? There’s no way in the heavens or on earth that would be.
“Ask me to take my life for you, I will. Ask me to kill for you I will, but if you ask me to not love you, I can’t” I told her like it was nothing.
“I exist for you muffin, and if you take my love for you away I’m nothing. You are my world, my girl,” She looked terrified by my words.
“I can’t do what you ask of me, it’s madness, it’s deranged. I’ll lose myself if I do that. I’m already intoxicated by you muffin, I’m utterly consumed by you Isabella,” I added.
“So don’t ask me not to love you, rather ask me to spoil you with the world. Ask me to be your light in the darkness, ask me to be the only for you, ask me to suffocate you with my presence, cause I want to share the same air that you breathe. So please ask me to do that,” I stated almost in tears while I looked into her eyes.
“So Isabella, you don’t have to love me, but please don’t leave me, don’t go away,” I fell into her arms, and she held onto me, while she patted my shoulder gently.
“Promise me you won’t go, tell me you’ll stay,” I whispered, tears welling in my eyes.
I was nothing without her, I will be nothing if she goes away and I wouldn’t let that happen…