Isabella
The ride back home was hard. My mind flooded with the earlier confessions Micah had made. My chest suddenly felt heavy, and I could feel myself lose my breath in that moment. I tap on my lap, counting in my head as I slowly and quietly exhale and inhale.
Micah was a distance away from me. We were both in the car, but we were in our head.
“I should be happy, I wanted this. I’ve wanted this, “I thought in my head, still slowly tapping on my lap.
“I’m supposed to be excited. Micah is the nice guy, the one I wanted right?” I questioned in my head, while the ride back home continued.
“Then why don’t feel any of these emotions? Why did I feel unhappy when he said that? What’s happening?” My chest tightened, and I placed my head outside the window letting the breeze in and feeling the wind.
“Micah was a gentleman, he was thoughtful and I didn’t hate him. All he did was make me feel good,” I released a deep breath, recapping all our moments when my mind shifted to Tristan.
“Why am I thinking of you right now?” I closed my eyes, and I could see his face appear in my head, his smile lines, and his beautiful eyes. I recall how he played with the curls of my hair, how he complimented me in a way that almost made me lose my sanity and still locked hands with me staring deep into my eyes.
These were the images in my head. It was all Tristan, Tristan, and more of Tristan. I couldn’t get him out of my head.
Throughout the supposed date with Micah. He popped up everywhere. I thought of him, when I felt the slightest touch from Micah, or when I saw anything that reminded me of him. I would be there daydreaming and thinking about him like I hadn’t already had Micah in front of me.
“Thank you,” I said immediately after we arrived at the front door. He decided to follow me to the front door to watch me leave
“I had a wonderful time today,” he smiled at me. He was so gentle, soft-spoken, and nice to me, that when he showered me with good words and how I was the highlight of his day. I felt sad, I felt like I was the one hurting him instead.
“Maybe I led him on?” I thought, but I didn’t know then. It was casual and simple. Just friendly dinners, lunch, and laughs. There was nothing there, not that I didn’t imagine it to be, but now that there was a chance of something happening, I was stuck with Tristan.
“I didn’t understand what this meant. But now I didn’t want anything to happen between Micah and me. I wanted those things to happen with Tristan. I wanted to explore with him, and nobody else,” This was how I felt. Throughout the ride, I just wanted to get home, back to him and maybe it would make sense to me if I saw his face or something, but I knew for sure I wanted to get back home to him.
” I had a good time too, Micah,” I told him truthfully
“Thank you for everything,” I added and he walked closer to me, a little bit nervous.
“Can I?”He seemed hesitant and unsure when he brought his face closer and placed a peg on my cheeks.
“Goodnight,” I smiled at him. That’s the least I can do for him right? I thought to myself as he turned around and stood beside the car.
“Bye,” He waved and got into the car. I watched the car turn around and leave before I turned to the door.
“F*ck,” I cursed under my breath immediately after I got into the house. The whole place was silent and I’m sure everyone was asleep. I rested my back on the door and my eyes were completely closed, while I released the deep breath I’d been holding in since the ride.
“Oh God what do I do,” I sighed and placed my hand on my chest rubbing it slowly. I sniffed in, and walked to the living room, falling on the couch.
I sat down on it, feeling tired and sad, as I rested on the couch throwing my head backward. I closed my eyes, completely tired of everything when I heard footsteps coming from the stairs. I was too tired to turn and look around, I just wanted to be the way I was right now. Left on the chair, left alone with my thoughts.
“Muffin,” I heard his deep voice, and abruptly I turned around to stare at him. He was approaching me, and before I could say something he was already beside me.
“Hey,” He yawned, clearly he was sleeping.
“I’m so sorry if I woke you up,” He rubbed his eyes gently and just nodded at me.
“It’s all good,” He smiled amidst the sleep in his eyes, and my mood lit up immediately. It was like a zap I was out of that whimpering and sadness I felt. And right now I felt delighted.
“How was it,” He fluttered his eyes open and stared at me. I zoned out a bit wondering what response to give to his question.
“Do I say, oh Micah confessed but all I did was want to come home to you? Or how throughout the very wonderful date, all I did was think of you? Or how I constantly compared you to Micah?” I didn’t know what to say to him but just chuckled.
“It wasn’t what I expected?” I sighed and told him in a tired tone.
“What? Did that riffraff do anything to you?” His voice was deeper, and the air around me thickened. “Tell me, muffin,” He squatted in front of me, waiting for a response while the air around us thickened. His eyes had gone somewhat dark, and I could hear the anger in his voice as he spoke to me.
“No, no,” I quickly said to him, and his muscles which were tensed had started to slowly relax.
“He didn’t hurt me, it was fine. I’m fine,” I told him and smiled a little bit so that he could chill.
“Okay. But just know that you can talk to me,” He held my hands and stared at me deeply.
“I hope so, we’ve barely talked all week,” I said in a low tone, but I was sure he heard me.
“Yeah true,” He didn’t say anything further. Even though I wanted him to talk, he just rose to his feet about to leave, when I shrieked in a low tone, holding my legs.
“What is it?” He rushed to me, and my heart leaped in joy.
“My feet hurt,” I told him in an almost crying tone, when he bent towards me, and his hands touched my legs, and I felt it again, those sparks I felt them.
“Damn Isabella,” he didn’t look pleased, as he started to help me take off the shoe. I sighed in relief, as my feet finally were free.
“Thank you,” I said and stretched it a little, he bent down further to rub them and massage them a bit.
“Does it still hurt?” He asked instead, and I nodded my head at him.
“Where does it hurt?” He asked, and I pointed it out to him.
Suddenly I felt his hands around my feet, causing me to be nervous. I looked at him unable to say one word, while he continued to rub my feet.
The feeling was wholesome. I couldn’t tell if it was because of his hands, or his voice. But I was glad he was here with me, and we could maybe talk.
“Do you feel better now?” He raised his head to look at me. Even though I wanted those touches to last forever.
“Yes, thank you,” He smiled at me rose to his feet, and stared at me briefly.
“You’re welcome muffin, try to catch some sleep,” he said and turned to leave when I grabbed his hands. I held onto his fingers making him halt at that moment.
“Please sit with me,” I looked at him still holding his hands, but he didn’t flinch but stood there like that, letting me hold him.
“Please, just a few minutes,” I added.
“Okay,” He didn’t add any other words. That was all he said and turned around. He sat beside me, a little distance away from me, and had me chuckle a bit.
“Isn’t that too far?” I chuckled, but he didn’t say anything. I grabbed a throw pillow from beside me, stood on my feet, and walked right where he sat.
“What are you doing?” He asked, almost as if he was terrified.
“Nothing,” I said and sat down beside him, closing the distance between us.
“What do you want Isabel?” He asked, not in a nice friendly way. But in a way that stated he was trying to push me away. But newsflash I wasn’t going anywhere, at least for now…
“I wanted to do this,” I said and immediately, dropped the throw pillow on his thighs, quickly placing my head on it before he could resist or stop me from doing it.
“Isabella,” he called my name in full. He looked shocked, and sat upright, with his hands in the air, looking for where to place them.
“What the hell?” He said and I smiled brightly at him, ignoring the look of anger and shock on his face. I adjusted myself and got comfortable in a way that I could stare at him.
“Get off me,” He said and folded his hands, looking at me, but I looked back at him with a smile on my face.
“Just a few minutes, okay,” I said to him.
“Why are you doing this?” He asked me, not in the yelling tone like before. His face was calmer, as he looked right down at me.
“Cause I need it okay,” I turned to stare at the television, not at him again. I pulled his hands away, and placed them on my hair, while I lay and just closed my eyes..
It felt good, it felt wonderful. He was resistant at first, but then slowly started to pat my hair. I felt better, and my mind didn’t wander in my thoughts again.
There was silence, my head was finally quiet and I could sleep. I stayed that way, fighting between needing more, enjoying his touch, and letting him go cause the few minutes were over.
I stayed like that, still laying on his leg, his hands patting my head, while I started to feel myself drift off, as I was suddenly drawn into the darkness.
*The next Morning*
I stared in my sleep. I could hear laughter and noise coming from a distance. My eyes were shut, and I turned around using my hand to feel the surface.
“Where am I?” I questioned feeling the softness in my hands. The last I remember was laying on Tristan’s legs, and it was in the living room.
“Hmm,” I moaned out and forcefully fluttered my eyes open. I looked around the place and noticed I was in my room, still clad in the dress from last night.
“Did Tristan carry me upstairs?” A blush appeared on my face.
“That’s the only explanation for this,” I said and rolled on the bed excitedly. I still felt tired and wanted to sleep some more.
I got up on my feet, took down my zipper, and pulled the cloth away only clad in my panties and bra. My eyes fought to stay open, as I left the dress on the floor, and walked to my closet grabbing a shirt. I immediately took off the bra in the closet and put on the shirt rushing back to the room.
“I’m so sleepy,” I groaned, and climbed the bed, slowly drifting off to sleep again.