70

70
Emilia’s POV
The morning sunlight streamed through the curtains, lighting up the room. I blinked against the brightness, my body slowly coming back to life. The haze of sleep and the aftermath of last night made everything feel a bit surreal. My limbs were heavy, relaxed in a way they hadn’t been in a long time. I turned my head to the side and found Alaric lying next to me, one arm resting above his head, his eyes still closed.
I found it quite hard to believe that he hadn’t left immediately after last night. Instead he stayed here with me, wrapping his arms around my waist. And in the middle of the night, he had woken up and fucked me again. I didn’t even remember how I got to his room.
For a moment, I just watched him. He looked different when he was asleep. The hard lines of his face softened, the tension that seemed to cling to him had melted away. It was rare to see him like this-unguarded, peaceful. Vulnerable, almost. My heart clenched unexpectedly, a pang of something I didn’t want to name rippling through me.
Last night had been… intense. More than that, it had been raw, unfiltered, as if all the walls we’d built between us had crumbled down in an instant. I hadn’t meant for it to happen, but once it did, it felt like everything else faded away. Just me and him, lost in each other, the rest of the world and it’s burdens forgotten.
I swallowed, trying to push away the swirl of emotions rising up inside me. I didn’t want to overthink it. Maybe it was just a moment of weakness. Maybe it didn’t mean anything more than that. But as I laid there, my body still aching in the best way possible, I couldn’t ignore the small, stubborn hope that maybe it had meant something-at least to me.
Alaric’s eyes fluttered open, and for a second, they softened when they met mine. Then, as if he realized where we were and what had happened, the warmth in his gaze vanished, replaced by a cool, detached mask.
“Morning,” he said, his voice low and rough with sleep.
“Morning,” I replied, trying to keep my tone light, casual. I didn’t want him to see the nerves threatening to run me mad.
He shifted, sitting up and rubbing a hand over his face. “We should talk about last night,” he said, his tone suddenly business-like, as if he were discussing a transaction or a meeting rather than what we’d shared.
I felt my stomach twist into a knot, but I forced a smile. “Sure. Let’s talk.”
He glanced at me, his expression hard to read. “It was… unexpected,” he began. “And it was good. But it doesn’t change anything between us.”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I’d expected something like this, hadn’t I? But hearing it out loud still made my chest feel hollow, like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I kept my face neutral, hoping he couldn’t see how much it stung. “Right,” I said, nodding as if I were agreeing with a perfectly logical statement. “No strings attached.”
He seemed to relax at that, as if he’d been worried I might make this into something more. “Exactly,” he said. “It was just… a moment. A release. It doesn’t change anything about our arrangement.”
“Of course,” I said, forcing a laugh that felt brittle and hollow. “We’re both adults. We know how to separate things.”
I could see the relief wash over his features, and that made the ache in my chest even worse. He was glad. He was relieved that I wasn’t asking for more. That I wasn’t expecting this to mean anything beyond what it was-a physical act, nothing more.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, his back to me. I took the opportunity to let my face fall, the forced smile slipping away. I’d known what I was getting into, hadn’t I? Alaric wasn’t the type of man who did commitment, who offered soft words or promises. He was closed off, guarded. He’d told me as much in a thousand different ways.
So why did it still hurt so damn much?
I took a deep breath and pushed myself up, pulling the sheet tighter around me as if it could shield me from the reality of the situation. “I should probably get dressed,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended. “I’m sure you have work to get to.”
He glanced back at me, his brows furrowing slightly. For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of something in his eyes-regret, maybe, or hesitation. But it was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by that same cold, detached expression.
“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “I have some calls to make.”
I nodded, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “Right.”
He didn’t say anything else as he walked to the bathroom, the door clicking shut behind him. I let out a shaky breath, my fingers curling into the sheets. I knew this would be complicated. I knew it would hurt, even if I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself. But I hadn’t realized just how deeply it would cut to have him act like it meant nothing.
I got up slowly, my body protesting the movement. I pulled on my clothes from last night, feeling the sting of humiliation prick at my skin. What had I expected? That he’d wake up and suddenly want to talk about feelings? That he’d pull me close and say this had changed everything between us?
I was an idiot.
I glanced at the bed, at the rumpled sheets and the pillow where his head had rested. It all felt so intimate, so real. And now it felt like nothing more than a cruel joke.
I slipped out of the bedroom quietly, not wanting to linger any longer than I had to. The hallway was silent, everyone was probably still asleep and I needed some air anyways.
I stepped outside the house, taking a deep breath and filling my lungs with fresh air that made the tightness in my heart lessen. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off the chill that had nothing to do with the weather.
What had I expected? Alaric had always been clear about who he was. He was a man who built walls, who kept everyone at arm’s length. I wasn’t special. I was just another person passing through his life, another complication he’d rather not deal with.
But the truth was, I cared. Somewhere along the way, I’d started to care about him, more than I wanted to admit. And it scared me, because I knew he didn’t feel the same way. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself.
I took a deep breath, letting the cold air fill my lungs, trying to push away the sting of tears that threatened to fall. I needed to be stronger than this. I needed to remember who I was before I met him-a woman who didn’t need anyone, who didn’t get tangled up in complicated feelings and messy relationships.
I closed my eyes, willing myself to forget the way his hands had felt on my skin, the way he’d looked at me last night as if I were the only thing that mattered. I needed to push it all away, to put it in a box and lock it up tight. Because if I didn’t, I knew I’d break.
When I opened my eyes again, the sun was higher in the sky, warming my face. I took one last deep breath and turned to go back inside.