“Jesus, that feels good!” Tyler groaned. I was shocked to find that I agreed with him. I felt my muscles squeeze around him and there was no pain. In fact, that delicious tingling feeling had come back. I really meant was I moaned next.
“Fuck me in the ass Tyler, please don’t stop!” I lifted one hand up off the table, grasping at my breast as I spoke. Tyler didn’t need any more encouragement. As I began to squeeze at my breast and pull on my nipples, Tyler began to slip is cock back, pulling it out of my asshole as it squeezed tightly, trying to suck him back in.
“Oh god mama, its like you’re trying to milk it out of me!” Tyler said.
“I am baby, mama wants that sweet cum in her ass!” I said.
Both of Tyler’s hands were placed firmly on my waist, all his weight coming down on those hands, pinning me onto the table. I felt his legs pressing into the backs of my legs. I felt Tyler’s stomach against my ass. But more than anything else, I felt my son’s cock buried deep in my ass. Over and over again, he would slip that stiff shaft out of my ass, just leaving the tip, and then slamming it back into me. He built in speed, going faster and faster with each thrust. I could hear him groaning as my ass contracted around him, squeezing him tighter even as he moved faster.
The feeling of Tyler’s cock pounding in and out of my ass was incredible. I’d never had anal sex without feeling a pinch or pain. I knew it wasn’t supposed to hurt, but for me, it always had. But now it didn’t. I just felt Tyler’s cock stretching me out inside and then slipping back out. Every thrust made my ass close more tightly around him, trying to milk that hot cum from his balls. My wet clit rubbed hard against the smooth surface of the table, adding to the feeling.
But even though it was, by far, the best anal sex I’d ever had, my body wasn’t my main focus. I could feel something more. Something about the tightness of my son’s body against mine. The way he was draped over me… I could feel that force again. I could feel it wrapping all around me. It felt like I was being coated in it. It was like I taste Tyler with my skin. It vibrated and ached… And I knew I was giving him everything he deserved, helping him really live in this moment.
“Oh fuck!” Tyler said suddenly, and I felt his hands seize around my waist, his fingers digging into my skin. I could feel all of the muscles he had pressed against me tensing. And just like the last time, I could feel his cock swelling up inside of me. I felt him trembling behind me and could hear him moaning. And then I could feel that electrical jelly, pulsing into me again. I knew that my son was pumping his sweet sperm into his mama’s ass.
And that put me over the edge as well. I felt like the walls around me suddenly fell away. But it was more than just the walls of the meeting room. It was like the whole prison disappeared. The whole world disappeared, except for me and for my son, locked together like we were one person. Like I was able to take him with me, out into the world. And every second of that time stretched out in front of me forever. And it was like I lived an entire lifetime within a handful of seconds. And in that lifetime, I was with Tyler every second, and we lived together. And I always gave him everything he needed. For that moment in my orgasm, we were both free.
When my senses returned to me, I was sitting on the floor of the prison meeting room. My son was sitting next to me, his arms wrapped around me. I felt warm and relaxed, in a way I don’t think I’d felt in seven years. I turned and looked at my son. The sort of drawn out, hangdog look he’d had when I first stepped into the room was gone. It felt, for a moment, like he was the man he could have been if I had always been the right mother for him. Strong, steady, and happy.
“I love you mama,” Tyler sighed. And when he spoke, I heard his old voice again. Not his prison voice.
“I love you too, son. I am always going to love you,” And it was like those words released me or something. The force that had pushed me to be with my son seemed to drain away. The sexual urges pushing me forward all this time seemed to be gone. He still looked handsome and I had no regrets about what I’d done. But I just knew I’d done all that I was I was supposed to do. All that I could do. I have given my son what he needed most. I had finally given of myself as a mother by giving myself completely to his needs.
Now he needed something else, we both did. We didn’t speak about what happened. I doubt either of us thought about it. There was a different energy in the room now. I was his mother now. I was really his mother. I turned towards him and kissed him. A mother’s kiss this time. And I moved so that he was no longer holding me. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him as a mother. Comforting him silently, until our time had run out.
* * * * *
When I left the prison that day, I found it a little weird that the sort of vibrating, life-force feeling that I’d had when I was with Tyler didn’t leave me. Like I could feel his presence with the me all of the time. It had moved into me through my mouth and my pussy and my ass. But then it sort of soaked all through me. I could feel it everywhere. I didn’t know what it meant at first. I went home and tried to go back into my normal life. But I couldn’t Tyler was with me all the time. And I don’t know when it was, but I decided that that was a feeling I should’ve been having all along. My son was still alive. He was still with me. I could feel him out there. And I’d been wrong to live my life like he had to die. He still had breath in him. How could I just roll over on him?
The only regret that I have about those seven years after my son’s arrest was that I’d spend all of my time wallowing in my bullshit an and my anger. I’d spent all that time blaming everyone else and thinking that being upset about my life meant that I was doing what I was supposed to do, and mourning my son. But all of that, as usual, had been for me. Not for my boy. There were things I should’ve been doing. I could’ve been doing. There were groups who wanted to help me. I thought they were a bunch of do-gooders trying to make names for themselves. Or maybe I was just too busy with myself to let them reach out to me.
I don’t really understand everything that happened next. I won’t go into all the details, because I will get them wrong. But I finally reached out to those people who had been asking to help me for years. And to get their help, I had to help myself. I had to write letters. I had to talk to people from the state. Eventually, I had a meeting with the governor. They told me that he was Catholic, and that was a good thing. I didn’t understand it. But the point is, there were lots of people who hadn’t really thought about what had happened to my son. He wasn’t one of these famous serial murderers that everyone knew about. He was just come guy in prison. And while there were a lot of people who wanted him to die, there were other people who thought that he didn’t get justice in his case. And the more people who heard about it, the more people thought he got a raw deal. Like I said, I don’t know all that happened. I just know that with a week to go before my son was supposed to be executed, the governor stayed it. And later, he… commuted the sentence. He said my son didn’t deserve to die. He said he might be able to get parole when he is 45 years old. He probably won’t get it then. Someday…
But that wasn’t the only thing. I mean there was something more to that feeling I’d been having. That feeling that Tyler was with me. It was for Tyler, it was pushing me to fight for him. But there was something else too. A couple months after my visit to the prison, I learned what it was. I’d been getting sick in the morning. I went to the doctor and learned that I was pregnant. A few months later, I learned I was going to have my second son. Only one man could be the father. I went into prison, surrounded by all that death, and I smuggled a little bit of my oldest son’s life out with me. And I grew it into a new life. And Tyler would live on. Both his own life, and his future. A new generation, a boy to carry on for him.
I am ready this time. I was not a good mother the first time around. I wasn’t ready. That isn’t an excuse, but that is the reason. This time, I know what I am doing. I know what it means to give yourself to your children, to do the things they need, not matter what. I can’t really make up for the wrong I done to Tyler. That’s impossible. All I can do is take the lesson I learned and use them. To honor this new child’s father, I am going to be the mother I always should have been. And when my Tyler gets out of jail, and he will, his life will be out here waiting for him. He will have a family and be able to understand what that is. And that’s the truth.