She walked into her kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk. She sat down at the table and took a big sip. Then she noticed something sitting in the middle of the table and saw that it was the back of an instant photo. She picked it up, flipping it over and looked at it. Her heart sank. It showed three women in evening dresses and a man in a tuxedo. One woman was wearing a big, happy smile as well as a sash. One of the other women was her mother, and she too was smiling but Rachael could see that her mother was fighting back tears. She felt so horrible. Her mother had wanted this so much and for the first time in her life she had wanted it for her mother. She set the photo back as she had found it and got up from her chair.
She quickly made her way up to her mother’s bedroom. She stood outside the door and heard gently sobbing from inside. Her heart broke. She knocked gently on the door but there was no answer.
“Mom?” she asked and again there was no answer. She felt the knob and saw that it was unlocked. She gently pushed it open and walked into the room. All of the blinds were pulled and the lights were out. Rachael had to give her mother credit, even when legitimately aggrieved she still had an overactive sense for the dramatic. She now saw her mother, curled up in a ball in her selected casual wear, crying uncontrollably.
“Please go away Rachael,” Emma said, not even looking up from her pillow.
“I am sorry you got second mom,” she said.
” I got third!” Emma said, crying even louder, “They were both barely thirty and they clearly deserved to win. I am old and dried up.”
“Don’t say that mom,” Rachael said and knew that her mother wasn’t just being dramatic here. She really felt that way.
“It’s true. I was only ever good at one thing in my entire life and I can’t do it anymore,” Emma said and Rachael felt terrible. That was what her mother really thought?
‘That isn’t true,” Rachael said, sitting down on the bed and putting her hand on her mother’s shoulder.
“It lost didn’t I,” Emma said, finally pulling her head out of her pillow. Her mascara was running and her eyes looked puffy but somehow she looked more beautiful than ever. An intensity was there that was usually lacking in her overly happy, fake suburban housewife facade.
“That isn’t what I mean,” Rachael said, “First of all third out of like 50 women is really good. Second of all, and more importantly, that isn’t the only thing you are good at.”
“Name anything else,” Emma said.
“You are smart, you can be funny when you are not trying to hard, you make great pizza, you are kind to strangers and you don’t embarrass me in front of my friends, you are a good mother,” Rachael said and she really emphasized the last one. Suddenly Emma got quiet. Rachael put her arm around her mother and pulled her in.
“Do you mean that?”
“What?”
“Do you really think that I am a good mother?” Emma asked and Rachael squeezed her mother in a tight hug.
“I really do mom, I love you,” she said and Emma actually smiled. Not her normal pageant smile, but a legitimate smile.
“That is all I need,” she said and seemed to mean it, “I would prefer to win, but I want to be your mom first and foremost.”
“Well you are,” Rachael replied and they sat quietly, holding one another, “Tell me what happened.” And Emma began her long and arduous explanation of all the things that she had done in the pageant. She explained the things that she did really well and chronicled her faults. She was very tough on herself, but very precise and clinical in her analysis and Rachael was sure she was being honest. Finally she concluded.
“So I got third prize and it was just so humiliating,” Emma said.
“I am sorry I wasn’t there mom.”
“To see me get humiliated,” Emma said with a wry smile.
“No, to support you. I should’ve just skipped the test I didn’t do well anyway,” Rachael explained. Kitty now took the opportunity to give her daughter a little hug.
“It’s okay.” she said and then fully sat up on the bed as though she were thinking about getting on with her life. But Rachael could tell that her mother was a bit sad. She wanted to cheer her up a little bit before they went downstairs and acted like nothing had happened.
“I’ll tell you why you lost mom,” Rachael said.
“Why is that?” Emma said, shooting her daughter a curious glance.
“They didn’t have a bathing suit competition. If the judges got a look at your hot bod in a bathing suit they would be derelict in their duties if they didn’t give you the win,” Rachael said and she meant it. She had seen the other women in the photo, they had pretty faces, but they didn’t have her mother’s build.
“You’re just saying that!”
“I am serious, quick get down to your bra and panties and look in your full length mirror. You will agree with me, even with your high standards,” Rachael said and Emma gave her an incredulous look.
“I am not going to do that,” she said dismissively.
“Oh come on, I think it would be a good exercise,” her daughter said, “do it for my sake. I think it will help. I want to help.”
That seemed to get through. Rachael got up quickly and put her webcam up on the dresser while her mother wasn’t looking. She was glad she had her purse with her. Emma rolled her eyes but quickly got up and slipped off her blouse and her jean shorts. She was wearing a pair of black panties and a black push-up bra. Her skin was tanned and her stomach was flat. Her legs were completely smooth and she didn’t look nearly as old as she was. She looked like she could be in college. She walked over to the mirror and looked at herself. For a second she tried to resist, but she had to smile. Her daughter was right.
“I told you!” Rachael said.
“Thank you honey I feel better,” Emma said and started to turn away. Rachael quickly got up and took her mother by the shoulders, turning her so that she was looking at herself in the mirror again.
“What are you doing sweetie?” Emma asked, looking at herself again.