“I guess so. Don’t act so sad. Go hang out with your friends. I will see you again tomorrow. I mean, not ‘see’ you but maybe we can do that again next week when my husband goes back out on the road.”
“Okay. See you then,” Rachael said, not wanting Kitty to feel guilty. She quickly got up and both women hastily got dressed. Rachael was finished first and headed to the door.
“Oh Rachael…” Kitty began, but realized that she wasn’t able to finish that sentence, even though she desperately wanted to do that. To say that she loved Rachael. But she was afraid to scare the girl away.
“Yes…” Rachael said, praying that the teacher would say those words, say that she loved her. Make some sense for what had been a confusing couple of weeks together.
“I think you did very well on that test,” Kitty said in a dejected voice, recognizing that she had failed herself and Rachael again. She would tell her eventually. When the time was right. Not now, not while her husband was waiting at home.
“Thanks,” Rachael said with equal sadness. It never even occurred to her to say the words, she was still young and didn’t think it was her place to say such a thing even if she felt it burning more brightly now than any emotion she had ever felt in her life.
“Have fun with your friends.”
“And you with your husband,” Rachael said and they both left school for the day.
Chapter 2: Blackmail
Kitty Lowell awoke the next morning at the sound of her alarm. She hated that sound. It was so intense that if a similar alarm went off anywhere for any reason, even if it was a television commercial, it would make her cringe. She quickly slammed her hand down on it and rolled over in bed. For just a second she imagined it was Rachael next to her, the little cheerleader that had stolen her heart but was so enigmatic at times she had no idea who she was dealing with. Instead she felt her hand graze her husband’s flabby stomach and she rolled her eyes.
She had once loved the man who was still sleeping next to her. They had married young and he had given her a beautiful young son, Richard Jr. But their passion had cooled. Oddly, as they grew younger and she remained as beautiful as ever he had been the one to stray. Even as he grew fatter, balder, and more mean-spirited she began to notice lip-stick on his collar and the smell of whore’s perfume when he came home from his frequent “business trips.” At first she had pretended not to notice and then she had confronted him. He had denied everything and she pretended to believe it. She had even made unsatisfactory love to him just the night before. But she was only with him now because when he was around he was a decent father. And because she didn’t know what else to do. She hated to admit it to herself but the college-aged feminist that she once was had melted into a fully dependent on a man she no longer loved. If she left, where would she go? Her only other family was a widower older brother who was completely worthless and his young daughter.
The only bright spot in her life was Rachael. She became so aroused thinking about the girl that she considered waking up her husband and trying to make love to him again. But she knew that it wouldn’t work, that he’d just grumble something and then go off to work. She woke him up with a rough shove and then got out of bed before he could say anything.
Kitty got a very quick shower and then got dressed for work in her normal uniform of a long skirt and billowy blouse. She didn’t like the young men staring at her ample breasts. She left the bathroom and saw that her husband was still asleep and she hit him again. She then walked over to her son’s room and knocked on the door. Richard, who had just turned 18 was already up.
“Morning mom!” he said not looking back from his video game.
“I told you not to get up early to play that!” Kitty said, but without real malice. He was the apple of her eye and he knew it. Knew he could pretty much get away with anything.
“I know,” he said, turning around and giving her a big smile. He was a small boy (man, she reminded herself), only 5’4 and weighed no more than 120lbs. He was in 12th grade but didn’t look it. He had his mother dark hair and her big, dark eyes.
“Well then get dressed and come downstairs and I will make you breakfast.” She closed the door and headed downstairs.
She wasn’t in the mood for a big production, so she just popped some of the batter she had made two mornings before into the waffle maker and searched for the maple syrup.
“Gotta go,” she heard her husband saying and she turned to look at him. He was shabbily dressed as usual and he had his briefcase in his hand. He looked tired and unhappy and she wanted him out of her house. For a moment she hated him. Then she spoke.
“Did you say goodbye to your son?” she asked, crossing her arms in front of her body.
“Hey buddy,” her husband yelled up the stairs and her son came downstairs and said hello to his dad, “I gotta run. Have a good day in school son.”
“Do you have to go before breakfast?” Richie said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Kitty hoped he would say he was too busy and wasn’t disappointed.
“I have missed so much office stuff the last few weeks on the road and I have to go back out in a couple of weeks so I am going to have to really get down to work the next few days,” he explained and gave his son a reassuring smile that was a giant lie that only Kitty knew about. Of course, he trusted her completely to never say anything to their son and it was well-placed trust. She would never say a word and hated herself for that. In a moment her husband was out the door and out of their lives for a while.
“Waffles again! Come on mom! The least you could do would be buy real waffle batter. You’re just making pancakes shaped like waffles,” her son complained as she put the plate down in front of him. She ignored him and sat down across from him and ate as well.
They talked about little things for a few minutes and she wondered if her son had a girlfriend. He was cute. She wandered what he would think about Rachael and felt very embarrassed. They were the same age. But she was so much more mature, girls always were.
When they finished eating they hopped into the car and Kitty drove Richard Jr. to school. He was supposed to go to the school where Kitty worked, but she hadn’t thought that would be a good idea. When he was first in high school, he was growing up, and didn’t need his mommy around. She’d sent him to a private school when he started high school. Now, he was an adult and had spent all his time there. He used to complain that all his childhood friends went somewhere else, but she was always going to do what was in the long-term best interest of her son. She gave him a kiss on the cheek as he left the car and he went inside. She smiled after him. The only man truly in her life.