Sister goes on a fake date with hated little brother.
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“Hey, Nicole, could you do me a favor?” my brother Aaron asked as he walked into the kitchen. He said it so casually, like he expected me to agree like it was no big deal. I was sitting at the table, reading the side of a cereal box and trying to wrap my mind around the word “riboflavin.” I didn’t even look up from the box, I just sort of snorted.
“Uh, no” I said, moving onto thiamin. Aaron should have known better. There was absolutely no way in Hell that I was going to do anything to help the Golden Boy. He didn’t seem daunted. A lifetime of always getting what you want will do that to a person. He plopped down on the chair across from me.
“Come on Nic,” he said in a little whine, “You don’t even know what I was going to ask.” Which was true as far as it went. Which wasn’t very far. I was actually sort of surprised my brother was asking me for anything. It was no secret that I hated him. Just like it was no secret that he thought I was a bitch. It was a great little system we worked out where we wouldn’t talk to one another. Now that I was at college 8 months out of the year it was even better. In a few years, I wouldn’t see him at all and then I’d just sit back and wait for the inevitable notification of his death. I was really looking forward to his funeral in 60 or 70 years. (Okay, so I was older, 20 to his 18, but women live longer. Also, I might decide to poison him).
“I don’t care,” I said, pondering the mysterious properties of niacin. Aaron let out a sigh and I smiled to myself. Maybe spring break at home wouldn’t be all bad. Sure all my wealthy friends would be in the Caribbean getting shit-faced and having sex. But I, despite my parent’s wealth, was poor. So I was home. Or “home” I guess. To make matters worse, my family had moved into a new house forty miles from our old house since I’d started school. This was just my first morning in this newer, bigger, and more sterile living quarter. So now I was stranded in a strange town where I knew exactly no one. At least I could piss off my brother.
“There is a free basketball game in it for you,” my brother said. And my eyebrows rose. That was different.
“Pro?” I asked and Aaron nodded his head. I am a girly-girl in just about every way, but there is something in me that loves professional sports. Generally, the more violent the game, the better. But I would settle for a pro-basketball game. Besides, my team was in the playoff hunt that year. But I needed more information.
“Yeah, it is tonight,” he said. I’d had this date all planned out with a cereal box, but I could consider breaking it. I looked over at Aaron and he looked absolutely tortured. He was sort of shifting a lot and his feet were moving under the table. He needed this from me bad, but I didn’t know why.
“So what is the catch Aaron,” said finally, “I don’t feel like pulling this out of you, what is the fucking catch?” He stopped shifting and just sort of stared at me. His mouth opened once and he started to say something, but then stopped. I rolled my eyes, “tell me now, or the answer is definitely ‘no’ no matter what.” He started speaking immediately.
“I am going to the game with this girl from my class, Rachel. I thought we were going as a date, I mean she asked me, but it sounded like a date,” he explained. Great, I was going as a third wheel for some reason, ‘Then today she texted me and said her friend Beth was going to be coming with us. Then I heard that tomorrow she is going out with this other guy from school. So I have no idea what this girl is thinking. If what we’re doing is a date, than it should just be me. But if it isn’t, what the hell are we doing? And…”
“Aaron,” I said loudly, cutting him off, “What does any of your lame high school shit have to do with me?” He stopped for a second, and looked sheepish.
“I was hoping you’d come with me and… make Rachel jealous,” he explained. For a second I didn’t understand what he was saying. Then, suddenly, it clicked into place and I realized what he wanted. And I started laughing, I mean hysterically.
“Oh Christ Aaron, did you seriously just ask your sister out on a date?” I asked incredulously. He put his hands up like he was trying to explain something, but I was laughing again. His face was all red and he looked totally embarrassed. It was pretty awesome. He kept saying my name and telling me to stop laughing. Finally, on its own accord, my laughter died down.
“You are such an asshole,” he said bitterly.
“Oh come on baby brother, you love me!” I said, biting my lower lip and thrusting my large breasts out. Aaron rolled his eyes.
“Come on Nicole, just listen,” he said and I crossed my arms in front of my chest and stared at him. “Look, no one knows who you are here. I told Rachel that I knew a girl who was in college and said that I was going to bring her as well. So you can come. And me just being with someone else will piss her off. Trust me; I know how this girl thinks.” He seemed so confident.
“What if you start to date her, she comes in the house and sees me smiling at her,” I said, feeling creeped out by this whole idea.
“Well…” Aaron said, sort of looking away. Oh gross, he just wanted to fuck this girl once! He was asking me to help him set up a one night stand or something. She’d never see the inside of our house because she’d only see the back seat of his car.
“Of fucking nasty Aaron, you are a pig,” I said. Well Nicole, you might say, don’t you have a lot of one-night stands in college? Don’t you have something of a reputation for being a slut? Well maybe I do, but that is beside the point.
“Get off it Nicole, I just need you to come to a basketball game with me,” he said, pushing my cereal box away so he could look at me.
“What’s in it for me,” I asked and he rolled his eyes. I mean, I will consider doing anything to help my baby brother. For an exorbitant price. Plus something about this felt promising, I couldn’t describe. There was a clusterfuck in the making.
“That fucking basketball game?!” Aaron said and I shook my head.
“You have to do better than that,” I explained.
“Come on!” he said, “You can’t possibility want to stay here tonight with mom and dad,” he said. And I am sure if those two heard their little angel talking about them like that they’d be heartbroken. Actually, no, they would blame me. That was the way things worked in my house. Aaron was the son that always ever wanted. To my mother, he was a perfect gentleman and sweeter than sugar. To my father he was the sort of son men dreamed about: Athletic, handsome, and popular with the ladies.