“Sorry it is so tight, I can’t afford much more,” She said and the girl laughed a little. She seemed like a sweet girl. Perhaps a little too reserved, but sweet. They talked about classes and friends the whole way to Seaside High School. Aynsley learned that her niece was, despite her good looks, a little bit nerdy and shy, but generally a good kid. She found that she liked the girl and looked forward to helping her out of that shell.
Aynsley returned to Eileen’s house, got a shower, got dressed, and headed out to apply for jobs. She spent most of the day applying to waitressing positions and other jobs where she would not need a lot of experience or schooling. By the time 6 o’clock rolled around, she was tired and disheartened. There were very few places hiring and she didn’t know if she would ever get a job, but she felt good about going out and trying. Even Eileen said she was proud when Aynsley arrived for dinner.
Dinner was nice and Eileen was in a better mood now that it was not the middle of the night. They had a nice quiet dinner and talked about their days. Eileen was a pharmacist and talked about the various people she had seen during the day and described bizarre diseases which unnamed patients possessed. Aynsley talked about her job search and her concern about the poor job market. Kendal talked a small amount about school and friends, but Aynsley could tell the girl was a bit intimidated by Eileen. She felt a lot of sympathy for the girl. She too had been a bit nervous around her own mother and couldn’t describe why. She assumed that Kendal felt the same way.
“Oh hey guys,” Eileen said after dinner while she was cleaning up the dishes, “I have to get up very early tomorrow for work, so I hope you can both keep it down tonight,” she said. Shortly after dinner she went upstairs and fell asleep. Kendal sat down at the kitchen table and started to do some homework. Aynsley decided to try to get to know Kendal a bit. She sat down next to her and decided just get on with it.
“I used to be so scared of your grandmother,” she explained and Kendal stopped writing, “Your mother could handle her easily but I just couldn’t. It wasn’t like she was violent with me or that she threatened me. It was just like she was so in control of everything that I couldn’t take care of anything. I felt like she was crowding me out you know? I think that might have been part of my problem growing up. I am only now starting to figure out how to take care of thing.”
Kendal sat silently for a moment and fidgeted in her chair. Her beautiful face was wrinkled with concern and Aynsley could tell she had struck a nerve, “I am sorry that happened,” the sweet girl said and Aynsley felt her heart warm, “Mom said that you and grandma didn’t get along. I am sorry she died while you guys were still fighting.”
“Do you ever feel like that sweetie?” Aynsley asked, trying to keep the pressure on but in a gentle way. She felt like she was trying to both justify her own feelings as well as help this sad, sweet little girl. She was convinced that she wasn’t trying to drive this girl away from her mother, but maybe somewhere deep inside, there was a little bit of that going on.
“I don’t know,” The girl said, twitching in her seat. She was obviously uncomfortable and Aynsley felt a bit guilty.
“Never mind honey,” she said, backing off now, “I am sorry I kept you from doing your homework. Why don’t you go back to work? I have to get a good night’s sleep too. Got to get back to the job trail tomorrow.” Aynsley felt a bit defeated. She knew that there was something to this, but she couldn’t push herself to finish it and talk to the girl. Kendal would thank her later if she could. But she couldn’t tonight. She headed to her room and fell asleep a few hours later, watching the TV.
The next day she got up early and hit the streets. However, it was barely lunch when she exhausted the last of the places in town that she hadn’t yet applied to. She headed home, feeling a bit defeated. She couldn’t do anything now but sit and pray that she got an interview somewhere. Anywhere.
She made it back to the house and made herself a little bit of lunch and then sat down to watch TV. At around 8:00 p. m. the front door opened and she heard someone come in. She looked and saw Eileen in the kitchen. She looked tired from her long day.
“Get a job?” she asked rudely.
“I applied at a bunch of places,” Aynsley replied honestly.
“Well you’d better get one soon. This is a home, not a half-way house,” Eileen said. Aynsley didn’t care for her sister’s attitude when she was tired, but she didn’t have any place else to go so she apologized. Eileen half-snorted and half-nodded, “I know. Hey I am beat. I am going to bed. Can you take care of Kendal tonight? Get her something to eat?”
“Sure,” Aynsley said and her sister’s attitude softened. Eileen headed upstairs to her room and the door slammed. Aynsley felt the old tension in her chest she always felt when she was with her mother or her sister. Like she was a giant disappointment. She sat without moving for nearly half an hour, just feeling the tension wash over her body. She wanted badly now to have a drink and considered checking the fridge for beer or cheap boxed wine. However, as she got up to check the door opened again.
This time it was Kendal, home from after school SAT practice that her mother had signed her up for. She rushed into the house, sobbing, but trying to do so quietly. She walked straight into the kitchen and then she noticed Aynsley standing in front of her and a look of absolute horror covered her face. She turned to walk away.
“Whoa there honey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing Aunt Aynsley,” the girl said and wiped the tears away, “I knew my mom would be asleep now I didn’t think you’d be home. I didn’t mean to bother anyone.”
“Kendal you didn’t bother me,” Aynsley said, feeling guilty that the girl had even considered this.
“Don’t worry, I am fine.”
“Come to my room sweetheart,” Aynsley said in a soft, welcoming voice, “It is a safe place. Anything you say there to me absolutely stays in that room.” The girl considered it for a moment, the tears still fresh in her eyes. Aynsley could see that Kendal both needed to talk but desperately didn’t want to. It was a feeling she knew all too well. Finally, the girl nodded and they both walked over to the guest room. Kendal sat down on the bed and sat silently for a few moments. Aynsley decided to wait and let the girl begin when she felt comfortable.
Aynsley sat down on a chair next to the bed and leaned forward in an earnest fashion. She felt a bit ridiculous herself. It wasn’t her nature to provide advice to anyone. Yet, from the moment she had seen her the day before, Aynsley had felt a special connection with this girl and felt that if anyone could help her, it was her aunt. Finally, after a few minutes, Kendal spoke.