Paul threw on the clothes he found scattered around the bedroom and hurriedly tugged on his shoes. He was at the door of the room before he realized he hadn’t even said goodbye to Ace.
Ace. God, he didn’t want to do this to him. It seemed like every time they got close, Paul would do something to push the reset button.
He had to say something now, or there would be no coming back. And in spite of this crippling fear, he knew he couldn’t stay away from Ace.
“Hey Ace?” he called out to be heard over the shower.
“Yeah?” Ace shouted back.
“I’ve got to head out. You have that brunch thing, right?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice.
There was a pause, and Paul wondered if he needed to repeat himself. The sound of the shower tapered off and Ace appeared in the bathroom door, a towel slung low on his waist and water still dripping onto his face from his hair.
“Right. Brunch,” Ace said without emotion. “Which you can’t go to. Because you have to go. To your own house.”
Paul felt himself split perfectly in two, watching the water make trails down Ace’s chest and wanting to kiss away that disappointed look on his face. But he couldn’t. Fear that powerful, ruthless motivator was pulling him out the door.
Ace looked like he wanted to say something, or ask something, but Paul couldn’t bear to hurt him anymore with his inevitable answer.
“I’ll see you later.” That false promise, that door to leave open a crack, even as he was making his way back to the bedroom door.
“Hey, Ace in the hole! You aren’t still asleep, are you?” A man’s voice traveled up the stairs from the front door.
Paul froze and swiveled his head back to Ace.
“That would be Erik. Who is early,” Ace confirmed. He quickly pulled on some jeans and tugged a T-shirt over his moist skin. “Want to meet him?” he asked with a voice full of dejection.
Fuck. Paul had hoped to escape without a witness.
“I’ve really got to go.”
“Go then. I’ll make your gracious apologies.”
Paul was stopped by Ace’s eyes in the moment before he fled, and the pain he saw in them nearly made him stay. But, coward that he was, Paul couldn’t afford to take that chance. His head was pulling him one way, and his heart was tugging another.
The tug-of-war inside him was tearing him apart.
So he tucked his head into his chest and barreled past Ace’s startled friend on his flight outside.
*****
Ace helplessly watched his fears came true as Paul fled from being seen with him in the daylight. And worse, his best friend who knew that he knew he should have known better witnessed it.
“Was that …” Erik started, perplexed. “That wasn’t… was it?”
“Oh, right, let me introduce you,” Ace said sarcastically, helplessly. “Erik, this is Paul McDonnell. He’s shy, you see, so he’s hiding from you. From me.”
Ace slumped onto the sofa and let his head fall back against the cushions. Lola immediately jumped onto his lap and snuggled against him, as if she could tell he needed some comfort.
Creepy little psychic cat, he thought affectionately as he stroked the soft fur that curled up to meet his hand.
“Who is Paul?” Erik sat close beside him and turned to face him. “Not the guy from before? From Sparks?”
“The one and only,” Ace sighed.
“Your hot hookup was Dr. McDonnell?”
“You know him?”
“By name. Didn’t know he had that face,” Erik said. “He ran out of here like he was on fire.”
“Well, heispretty hot,” Ace sighed.
Erik peered intently at Ace, whose face revealed every emotion he wanted to hide.
“Spill,” he said.
Ace filled him in on how Paul had re-entered his life through Steven and about the sinful massage that led to this awkward morning. He kept some of the juicier details to himself, wanting to hold them close to his chest to warm him when he was alone.
“Well, you wanted to bring him home in the first place, didn’t you,” Erik said with a short sigh. “And he just showed up for you.”
“Yeah, he shows up like the Great Gazoo,” Ace said. “I’m the only one who can see him when he’s gay.”
“The Great Gazoo!” Erik squeaked. “Ah, childhood.”
“I promised myself no more guys in closets,” Ace continued miserably, “and now I just can’t seem to escape this one.”
Erik stayed silent after that and rubbed Ace’s hand reassuringly.
“How about we head over to WheatFields,” Erik decided. “I’m feeling like waffles. And you need to finish dressing before that can happen.”
Ace gently lifted Lola off his lap, and it gracefully leapt to the floor. He opened the front door to let Lola out, but the cat surprised him by jumping back onto Ace’s place on the couch and curling up in the warm spot he left behind.
Huh. This cat kept surprising him. Now all of a sudden Lola was a house cat, not a porch stray. He made a note to pick up some proper cat food and a dish on his way back.
“Well, looks likesomeonewants to stay at least,” Erik observed, nodding toward the comfortable cat.
Yeah. It’s a start, I guess.
They snagged a great seat by the front window at WheatFields Bakery so they could watch the Sunday crowds strolling by.
“So back to the topic at hand,” Erik announced as he tucked into his grilled portabella sandwich. “Dr. McDonnell. You like him? Aside from the closet thing? And the running away? There’s something to like?”
“There’s lots to like,” Ace said. “He makes me feel…” he trailed off. He makes me feel. Haven’t done that in months.
“So, next question: Do you think he’s worth it? All this heartache you’re feeling right now, the hiding away from the world that you’d have to do if you want to see him again?”
Ace paused. Was he? At times Ace was ready to believe all the impossible dreams could happen with Paul. And then the morning came.
“He might be,” he said finally. “I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to go through another Cameron if Paul turns out to be not strong enough in the end.”
“Well, if he turns out to be another Cameron, he’ll have to answer to me,” Erik said fierce and low.
Ace’s throat tightened suddenly. Erik was such a good and loyal friend, offering to take on anyone who bruised Ace’s heart. He wanted Paul to be the one to fight for him, to be with him. Instead, Ace was going to be the one fighting to help keep the world at bay if he decided to let Paul back in.
He looked out the window to let that tightness ease. Just as he looked up, he spotted his Web site architect strolling by.
Ace ducked his head down to avoid eye contact, but Tanner had clearly already seen him and stopped until Ace looked up again.
“Hmph, speaking of men who are hot for you,” Erik muttered. He gave his student worker an acknowledging wave, which was all the encouragement Tanner needed to come to their table.
Ace gritted his teeth, bracing himself for more innuendo and body critique.
“Hey boss,” Tanner said, giving Ace a sly, sidelong smile. “Ace. Good to see you again.”
Ace nodded briefly and cursed his weakness for free blowjobs.
“It’s funny that I spotted you here,” Tanner continued. “You still owe me some photos, you know.”
“I remember, yes,” Ace said. “And I have some. Just need to get them off my camera.”
“I could stop by your house when you’re ready to get them off,” Tanner nearly purred. “Then we could take care of everything all at once. Maybe even hit the gym like we talked about.”
Erik rolled his eyes covertly. Ace fought the urge to giggle.
Ace’s phone blessedly rang before he had to invent an excuse. He didn’t recognize the number, but at this moment he didn’t care.
“I’ll send over the photos I have so far when I get home,” he told Tanner. “I’d better take this.” He smiled faintly as a goodbye and stepped outside to take the call.
“Hey Ace, it’s Holly,” Steven’s fiance chirped. “How are those weary bones?”
Ace was glad to hear her happy voice.
“Oh, it’s all good. All my bones are good,” Ace said, putting on his flirty persona. “Ask anyone.”
“Anyone in particular I should ask?” she said, all sly and knowing.
Ace started. She doesn’t know. She couldn’t. I mean, we just… no way.”Any hot guy you come across,” he said, recovering. “It’s important to get a broad sample for statistical purposes.”