Well, maybe she could, but something in her, something that had been bred in her since she had first learned to walk, repelled against the thought. After all, manners bred, and indicated, respect. As her mother had always said, if one did not respect others, one could not reasonably expect that same respect back from them. Ruefully, Emma thought that her sense of decorum would someday be the death of her. She would probably be fighting for her life against some crazed killer someday, kick him in the nuts, and then instead of running away sensibly, she’d probably stop, apologise, and ask if she could call an ambulance for him.
“Good morning,” James said coolly, setting aside his newspaper, and picking up his glass of apple juice. Emma smiled to herself, recalling his fondness for apple juice. Kit had always had a glass every morning, too, she thought, after they’d spent the night making love… But no. It hadn’t been Kit, had it? It had been James – James and his routine glass of apple juice. Oh, what a fool she’d been! She should have known, every time he’d fled just before the household awoke, that something was wrong… Impatiently, she brushed the thought aside, plastering a smile onto her face.
“Morning,” Emma said lightly, avoiding his eyes and taking the seat furthest possible from him. “Where is everyone else?”
“Gone shopping,” James said succinctly. “In Westbridge. Its just us until about six tonight, I think.”
“Oh,” said Emma, rather inadequately. “Is that the little Village just off North Road?”
“Yes.”
“Oh,” said Emma again. She helped herself to a glass of apple juice, feeling oddly stupid. “Well, I should say goodbye, because I’ll be leaving this evening, and I probably won’t see you again.” Ever, she said silently.
James merely raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh?” he said lazily. “Running away, are we?”
“No,” Emma said defensively. “Just leaving. I have some business at home that can’t wait.”
“Surely it can wait a day more? It’s waited almost a week already, has it not?”
“N – no. I’m afraid it’s rather urgent.”
To her surprise, James got up out of his seat, and came over towards her, a grim look on his face. Too startled to move, she remained frozen in her seat, merely staring at him rather like a deer in headlights. She watched, bemused, as he dropped to his knees in front of her, planting one arm on the back of her chair and the other on the table, hemming her in, crowding her space yet again. He had a rather annoying habit of doing that, Emma thought irritably. Someday someone was going to punch his lights out. She just hoped she’d be there to see it!
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said abruptly. “Why?”
“I – I haven’t,” she denied shakily.
“You have. I’m not stupid, you know. I haven’t seen you for two days. Why have you been avoiding me?”
She glared at him, angry at his nerve for even asking the question. “Do you really have to ask?”
He was silent for a moment, his eyes downcast. Then, “Don’t leave, Emma,” he said gravely, startling her. “Please don’t leave.”
She had to smile. “Are you literally begging me on your knees?”
He smiled too. “If that’s what it takes.”
“In all the time I’ve known you, James, you’ve never sounded so sincere…” she paused, regarded him seriously, then smiled her sweetest smile. “How about… No.”
His eyes narrowed in irritation. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to.”
“It’s not that simple, Emma.”
Her eyes flashed. “Why not, James? It’s simple enough for you, when its something you want. You just take it. But when I want something? Oh, no, I’ve got to think of you, first. Are you really so selfish, James?”
She saw his knuckles go white as he clutched furiously at her chair and felt a stab of fear. Then suddenly, he relaxed. She saw him frown, as if wavering over something, and then his expression cleared, as if he had come to a decision. His lips curved on a smug, mocking smile, and he regarded her knowingly, his expression one of condescending indulgence. “Alright… if that’s what it’s going to take… If its marriage you want, I’ll marry you.”
The words were sudden, abrupt, unexpected. Emma’s jaw dropped, her eyes widening to saucer-like proportions. She said the first thing that came to her mind. “What?”
“That’s what you want is it? So be it. I’ll marry you.”
“Dear god, are you MAD?” She almost shrieked. “I can’t marry you!”
He cocked a brow at her, perplexed. “But why not?” His expression grew earnest. “I’ve told you, Emma. I love you.”
She brushed that aside. “Because – because I’m going to marry Luc, that’s why,” she said in a rush. “Yes – I’m marrying Luc, and I’m going away with him tonight, and that’s all there is to it, James. I can’t marry you. I don’t even like you!”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re lying.”
Emma bristled. “What makes you say that?”
“There’s nothing the least loverlike towards the way Luc acts towards you. I’ve seen him, remember? I’m not blind. And the other night… out on the balcony… he said himself that you were only using him as an excuse. I’m not stupid, Emma. There’s nothing between you and Luc but friendship. In fact,” he continued, his eyes narrowing further as he looked at her, “I would say that there’s never been anything between you and anyone but friendship.”
Emma’s gaped at him, amazed at his sheer nerve. “Why, James?” she said finally, recovering her composure. Her tone was mocking. “Do you imagine that just because you – that is to say, Kit, because you do realise that that was who I thought it was – were the one who took my virginity, it means that there has been no one else? I am only human, James. I have needs. You are most certainly not the only man I’ve ever slept with… in fact, far from it. What makes you say it’s so unlikely that Luc and I are engaged?”
“Its impossible,” he said derisively. “I refuse to believe that you got engaged to him after that night – it’s been what, two days? He asked you to marry him even after knowing you were using him as an excuse?”
“No,” Emma said blithely, and satisfaction flashed in his eyes. “I asked him to marry me.” Well, it was sort of the truth, Emma thought wryly.
“What?” His incredulity was obvious.