CHAPTER 98
LILY’S POV
~ I picked up the fork and strengthened myself up. I was about to hand it to him when the sight that greeted me had my jaw falling to the table. Noah was holding out a small opened black box towards me. Inside the box was an expensive-looking diamond ring beautifully sitting on the plush casing. ~
The fork I was holding fell from my grasp as I froze. My eyes which were large from my shock locked unto Noah’s. He had a dreamy smile spread across his face.
“Lily Jones, meeting you and spending time with you has been some of the best moments of my life. You are the perfect woman for me, and I want what we share to last forever. So I ask, will you make the happiest man on earth by agreeing to marry me?”
The question reverberated in my head over and over again. I felt like I was caught in a daze. Like my reality was twisted or something. What could possibly make him think I was ready for marriage? What made him think I was the perfect woman for him? Was it because of the hot sex we’ve been having? Or because we shared the same painful past? The question kept hammering in my mind as I stared at the diamond ring.
I had already made up my mind to be a single mum right from the moment I stepped foot outside prison. I just want to focus my life on raising my kids and seeing what the universe has in store for me. Marriage, romance, falling in love and shit like that was never part of my plan again. If Noah knew how much I loathed the idea of marriage now he won’t be doing this. If I had known this was the reason he set up the date in this fancy restaurant then I won’t have bothered to come. Deep down, I feared it would come to this, but I kept living in self-denial.
I kept my gaze down because I couldn’t bear looking him in the eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head in agony. “I’m sorry Noah. But I can’t do this. I can’t marry you. I’m not ready for marriage, I’m still healing from past wounds.”
He reached out to hold my hand, squeezing it gently. “Lily it’s been years already. You can get over it. Let me into your life so I can help you heal better.” He said genuinely.
I lifted my head and glanced around to make sure no one was watching. Tears were forming in my eyes and I couldn’t help it. I tried to blink it away but that wasn’t helping either. If it ends up streaming down, it’ll only ruin the make-up I worked hard on. I took out a tissue from my purse and dabbed my eyes gently.
I heaved a slight inward sigh of relief on realizing no one was paying attention to us. They were caught up in their food and conversation. Thank goodness Noah hadn’t done this in a way that could attract attention. If he had gone down on his knee or brought in singers and musicians to serenade me with love songs, rejecting him like this would have made me look like the heartless villain. What if someone filmed it and it ended up going viral on social media, then that would be a complete disaster.
One of the waiters passing by saw the ring and whistled like he’d struck gold. Another winked at us with a smile and wouldn’t stop looking, so much so that she almost bumped into a table.
I returned my gaze to Noah. He was still looking at me expectantly with a pleading expression on his face, waiting for my answer, hoping I’d change my mind. But I won’t. Not now. Not ever.
“Please Noah, put that box away before people see it,” my voice was tinged with pain and regret I pulled my hand from his grasp and I looked away, avoiding his gaze.
It was hurting me, deep in my soul to do this to him after all he’d done for me and the moments we shared but I had no choice. I wasn’t the one for him. The earlier he realizes it the better. There were plenty of women out there who wouldn’t hesitate to marry him at first sight. I don’t want to break his heart and hurt him deeply like his ex-wife because, after everything I suffered at the hands of Robert, I hardened my heart and forgot how to love again. The sex between us was just to satisfy our human cravings, no romantic or emotional attachment was involved. I hope he sees it that way.
“I told you about everything I suffered in my past marriage. I thought you understood, yet you presented this ring to me. How can you punish me like this? How can you be so selfish and inconsiderate? Don’t get me wrong, Noah. You’re a great man. Anyone woman would want to marry you in a heartbeat. And I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me and my kids. B…but I can’t marry you. I’m not ready for another marriage. I can’t stomach it. I prefer us being friends, colleagues…sex buddies or whatever. But please, not marriage because I won’t be the perfect bride and wife you want me to be.”
The way he sighed made me know just how much my words hurt him. I can’t imagine being in his shoes right now. Getting turned down by someone you are interested in and hope to build a future with was like an intense physical pain. This was the same pain Robert made me endure. I can’t believe I was making Noah pass through it too. I felt guilty and kept wiping my eyes now and then.
I heard the box close. Looking back at him, I was surprised to see he didn’t look angry or heartbroken like someone whose proposal just got rejected. Instead, he was smiling like it never happened. Like everything was okay.
‘Typical Noah.’ I sighed inwardly in worry and empathy. ‘Always smiling and laughing in difficult situations.’ I have only seen him angry and looking sad a few times.
“I don’t want any other woman, Lily,” he made it clear to me causing a soft gasp to escape my lips. “I want only you and I don’t care how long I’ll have to wait to get you. I’ll wait till when you’re ready for us to happen, Lily. I’ll wait even if it takes a thousand years.”
I couldn’t help staring at him helplessly. Doesn’t he understand? If he’s going to wait then he’ll wait for eternity because I’m not going to marry him or anyone else. Wanting the best for him, I’ll just have to find him a well-behaved and classy lady who will distract his attention from me.