Chapter 15
The TV was playing and the noise that came with people talking and walking around could be heard as I was seated in the waiting room of the hospital. But I barely paid attention to any of that as I was drowned in my thoughts. Robert’s hurtful words and the doctor’s message last night daggered my mind, leaving me feeling very anxious and uneasy.
The thought of having this abortion only made it worse. I hadn’t done it before and didn’t know what to expect. As much as it scared the hell out of me, it was the only way I could get the money I needed to save my mother. I had to report back to Robert later in the day with the proof of the abortion procedure for him to give me my monthly paycheck for the contract marriage agreement. I couldn’t wait to get the procedure over with so I could go see how my mother was doing and give Robert what he wanted.
Last night after Robert left, those men came back and carried the remaining furniture in the apartment which was my bed. I proved stubborn by trying to stop them but they threw me out and locked the apartment, putting a ‘For sale’ sign on the front door to my greatest dismay. It was then I knew Robert was really serious about selling the apartment. I had to lodge in a nearby guesthouse with the little money I had to enable me to meet up with my early morning appointment in this hospital. I hadn’t even changed from yesterday’s clothes.
“Lily Wilson?” A soft, gentle voice called my name, drifting me from my wrecking thoughts.
I looked up to see a young nurse, about the same age as me, standing by the doorway. She was holding a pen and clipboard and staring into the small crowd gathered in the waiting room in search of me.
“That’s me…” I took a deep breath and stood up in indication. My palms grew sweaty as I tightened my grip around the handles of my bag and a pamphlet they had given me earlier.
“Please come with me, we’re ready for you,” she said with a kind smile and made her way back into the hallway she came from.
I nodded nervously. My heart raced and my legs felt wobbly as I followed closely behind her. Each step I took seemed to echo in my ears. The thoughts in my head were spinning out of control, bringing back memories of everything that has happened in the past few weeks the drunken night Robert and I made love, the news of the pregnancy, the time at the dinner Robert’s mum called me barren, all the sleepless night filled with tears because of Robert’s unrequited love and wondering if he’ll accept this pregnancy, his hurtful words last night, his declaration of love to Scarlett, the doctor’s message. All these made my head hurt badly, the pain causing tears to burn at the back of my eyes.
As I walked further down the hallway, I felt something like a slight movement in my stomach. It was as if the baby was reminding me it was still in there, begging me not to carry on with this. I remembered what he looked like that night I dreamed of him like an angel with Robert’s brown ruffled hair and dark chocolate eyes. But my mind was already made up. It was either the baby’s or my mum’s life and my life too because I had no other means for survival and livelihood.
“I’m so sorry dear,” I looked down at my stomach and muttered inwardly as if it could hear me. “I hope you understand that I have to do this.”
The nurse opened a door and led me into the room. It was sterile with all the equipment in place to carry out the procedure.
“Take off your clothes and pieces of jewellery and put this on,” she said, handing me a piece of clothing that looked like a hospital gown. “After which you can lie down on the table.” She gestured at the table beside me.
I watched as she settled at the corner of the room, putting on hand gloves and, a nose mask and waiting for me to change.
Slowly, I put the pamphlet in my bag and kept the bag down beneath me. I took off my earrings and every other piece of jewellery I had on. I was about to take off my clothes when the realization suddenly hit me like a lightning strike, causing me to stop.
Why should I do this? Why should I give Robert the satisfaction of getting rid of my pregnancy while Scarlett got to keep hers for him? This baby belonged to me as much as it did to him. We made it together, it is a product of our love.
If he didn’t want to accept and raise it together with me then I don’t mind doing it on my own. Perhaps the news of this pregnancy is what my mum needed to help her get better since she has been complaining to me nonstop about having a grandchild. I have to keep this baby. I want to keep it.
If Robert withholds my payment and terminates the contract, then I don’t mind finding another means of income and survival. Noah’s job offer crossed my mind. I’ll borrow money from Jane or a loan from a bank. Once I get the job and start earning, I’ll be paying back in small quantities. This was a great idea, a relief. The tears threatening to spill down my cheeks were starting to dry up. Why didn’t I think of it before? I just hoped the hospital my mum was admitted to wouldn’t be under pressure for me to pay immediately while I ran around for the money.
The nurse turned to me. Her brows shot up in surprise on seeing I hadn’t yet changed. She slid her nose mask down below her chin and asked in concern. “Anything the problem? Why haven’t you changed yet? You do know we don’t have all the time in the world. We have other patients to attend to.”
“I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “But I can’t do this. I thought I could but I just can’t.”
She stared at me in confusion, not knowing what to say. She was nice. I appreciated her concern and hated I was causing her this inconvenience but I can’t carry on with this. What if I die in the process? There will be no one to take care of my mum. Robert won’t care and Scarlett will be more than happy.
“I understand what you’re going through, but…”
I didn’t wait for the nurse to finish. I grabbed my bag and ran out of the room, leaving my jewellery behind. My kitten heels went click-clack against the linoleum floors as I quickened my steps past the waiting room. People seated there looked at me with curious faces, wondering what could have happened.
It was already noon. I needed to go visit Doctor Joe, see how my mum was faring and get more information on what the payment plan would be.
Reaching outside the hospital building, my phone buzzed in my bag, startling me. I took it out and checked the caller ID to see it was Martin calling. I wondered why he was calling me at this time. But on the bright side, I can use this opportunity to tell him to help me talk Robert out of selling my stuff and the apartment.
“Hey Martin…” I said as I accepted the call but a broken, tear-soaked voice came rushing in from the other end of the line.
“Tell me you didn’t do it, Lily… I need to hear it from you…Tell me you didn’t kill him!…”
My blood suddenly ran cold as I froze in shock, my heart pounding in fear and panic. I couldn’t understand what Martin was talking about. Who died?… I didn’t kill anyone. I’ll never do something like that.
Before I could get a grip on myself and reply to him, a police vehicle’s siren blared as it screeched around the corner and pulled up beside me.
Two middle-aged men in police uniforms and a tall younger woman sporting a short platinum pixie haircut, dressed in a woollen armless sweater over a turtleneck and high-waist jeans stepped out and accosted me. Judging from her attire and the long badge dangling from her neck, I sensed she must be a detective.
“Lily Wilson?” She asked with a serious look on her face.
Unable to understand what was going on, I brought my phone down from my ear. Martin kept screaming my name and uttering some curse words I couldn’t make sense of something he had never done before so I cut the call.
“Yes…” I answered hesitatingly.
Without wasting a second, she retrieved a handcuff from her back. “Mrs. Lily Wilson, you’re under arrest for the suspected murder of Mr. Wilson. You have the right to remain silent for anything to say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you,” she said as she cuffed my wrists and the policemen dragged me into the vehicle.