Luna
“You want me to be your Second-in-Command?” I ask, gaping at Axel. “What about Ama?”
We’re still sitting in the pond off of Golden Glades Street, surrounded by marsh plants and a few palm trees. Paper cups and food wrappers float along the edges, having blown in from town, but I don’t have to scavenge for plastic cups or water jugs anymore, so I don’t pay the trash any mind. While Axel speaks, I let my hands swirl lazily in the pea-green water.
“Ama and I are two very dominant wolves,” Axel says. “It wouldn’t hurt to have a more submissive wolf to tame the tempers of the rest of us.”
I smile at Axel. I’m flattered to be offered a job in the pack and even more happy that he’s getting rid of Ama. I don’t like her one bit.
“What would I have to do?”
“You’ll be my right-hand wolf,” he says. “You’ll help me make decisions on what’s best for the pack, and you can even govern in my absence for a short time.”
“Really?” I say, my eyes widening. “So, I can boss around the entire pack when you’re not there? Is that what Ama does?”
Axel gives me an indulgent smile. “It’s not exactly ‘bossing around.’ They look to you for guidance, order, structure, and protection. And, yes, that’s Ama’s role in the pack.” The corners of his lips turn down. “But I think she might be good in a different role.”
“What kind of role is that?” I ask, trying on the role of Second in my mind. I like the idea of having authority in the pack, but then again, it also sounds like responsibility that I’m not sure I’m ready for. I don’t know any of the rules and laws like Ama does.
“To be Second, you’ll need to accept the pack bond and become an official member.” Axel’s face almost glows with excitement. “You’ll be bonded to all of the Jacksonville pack, even communicate with us telepathically if you’re in any trouble. The Alpha and his Second have an even stronger bond. We’ll be able to communicate just between the two of us, too.”
“Wait a minute…” My eyes narrow. “Was this all a ploy to get me to join the pack so you can basically be my mate without being my mate?”
“It’s not like that,” he growls. “I want to keep you safe.”
“Isn’t it like that, though?” I ask, my relaxation from a moment ago melting as my spine stiffens into a steel rod. “It sure sounds like it. ‘Hey, Luna, you can be my Second-in-Command and have an important role, but with one little catch. You’re going to have to become a member of the pack
and share a special bond with me.’ That sounds just like being your mate.” The word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth after all I’ve been through because of it.
“You can’t be the pack’s Second if you’re not in the pack,” he says, looking at me like I’m looney. “The Alpha and his Second have to be able to communicate during times of crisis to help the pack.”
“And here I thought your offer was a gesture of goodwill.” “Who says it isn’t?” he says, his golden eyes flashing fire.
“Your offer stinks. Being your Seconds sounds just like being your mate.”
I frown, thinking of Ama carrying that much responsibility and having such a close bond with Axel. I don’t like thinking about how close they are, how much they share that I’m not a part of because I don’t belong to the pack yet. That’s my choice, but I still don’t like her around him.
“Fuck, Luna,” Axel says with a sigh of frustration. “Of course I want you in the pack. I want you to be my mate. You know this. I never hid it. You’re my fucking heartbeat itself. Every breath I take is an homage to you. I can’t exist if you’re not in my life, in whatever capacity I can have you, even if you’re with those assholes instead of me. But I’m not going to trick you into being my mate.”
Our eyes lock in a tangle of still-fresh wounds at this declaration. I don’t know what to say. I might have grown to feel that way had the True Mate bond not been severed, but it was. Can I still feel like that now, after he hurt me so much? I don’t like the thought of him with Ama, but that doesn’t mean I want him for myself. Does it?
Doesn’t Axel occupy a portion of my daily musings, whether I like it or not? He comes by every day, brings me things, dotes on me. I appreciate all the little gestures, the things he does to show he’s sorry and let me know he’s thinking about me all through the day. I feel something for him, I’m just not sure what it is.
“Look,” he says, lifting his hands from the pond. Water drips down his arms. “Despite my personal desires, that choice is up to you. I won’t force you to be my mate. That’s separate from this. But either way, even if you’re never mine again, you should join the pack.”
“So you can read my mind?” I ask, thinking of how many times Mama told me not to trust wolves. If I can’t keep a secret from them, I’ve trusted them completely.
Axel rakes a hand through his hair and blows out a breath. “You’ll be safer in the pack. We protect each other. Imagine how being able to communicate with just a cry in your mind might have served you when that lone wolf attacked you. I’d have known the instant you were in danger, and
believe me, I would have come running. All of the pack would have. We’d know your whereabouts, what you were experiencing, everything.”
I chew on my lip, considering. “I don’t know nothing about the law,” I say. “Pack law.”
He sits forward. “I’ll teach you. Pack history, pack law, hierarchy, all you need to know to help me lead and be my Second. What do you say, Luna?”
I ripple my fingers in the water as I consider the request while Axel waits. “Too much responsibility,” I say at last. “Even I know you’re not doing this for the pack. Even if you’re not doing it to trick me, you’re trying to give me the best things so I’ll forgive you for doing the worst things. The answer’s still no.”
His entire body sags, like sand’s draining from his bones. “But I’ll join the pack,” I pronounce.
“Really?” he asks, his eyes brightening and a smile starting at the corners of his mouth.
“If my mates can join, too.”
“What?” he demands. “What the fuck, Luna? Warrick challenged me for Alpha and lost. He was banished. The other two chose to sever their pack bonds. They can’t just stroll back in like nothing happened.”
“Why not?”
“If I let them come back after that, I’d look weak. In a lot of packs, a fight for Alpha is a fight to the death. Warrick’s lucky he only got banished. If I let him come back, no one will ever take me seriously again.”
“Why is it always about what the pack thinks of you?” I ask. “I thought you were their leader. Why does it matter what they think? You make the rules.”
“I make rules for the good of my pack.”
“And I make rules for the good of mine,” I say, climbing to my feet. Pond water trickles down my legs and plops in drips from the hems of my shorts and shirt, making them heavy and tight. I want to peel them off, but Warrick forbid me from going outside without clothes. I pivot and start back toward my house.
When I glance over my shoulder, Axel’s not following me. He stands still, as if his feet are glued to the mud in the middle of the pond. I’m almost out of view when he shouts for me to wait.
I whip around and stare at him as he rushes toward me, water dripping off his clothes, too. “What am I waiting for?” I ask.
“I’ll give you what you want,” he says, holding out a hand as if to stop me from walking away again. “I’ll do it. They can join the pack, too, if you’ll join it. That’s how much I want to keep you safe, Luna. I’d give anything to protect you. Even my reputation.”
“I still don’t want to be your Second,” I warn. “But if my mates can join, too, then we’ll all be safe.”
“They’re not your mates,” he grits out.
“They’re my mates if I say they are,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
Axel’s wolf howls inside him, but I can hear it. His furious protests tear at my heart with knives of guilt and longing. He wants me to be his mate- and my wolf wants that, too.
“So, I give you everything, and I get nothing,” Axel says dully. “That’s where we are now.”
“You can stay for dinner,” I offer.
“Dinner,” Axel says flatly. “That’s what you’re willing to give?”