Axel’s nose keeps skimming the earth as we trot through the woods. I don’t know what he’s sniffing for, but I sniff, too. I take in all the scents of those who have traversed this land-rabbits and rats, snakes and lizards, even a big old gator. I come across a wolf scent, and my heart soars. I linger at the spot, trying to figure out who it belongs to. Is it one of the triplets, or do all wolves share this smell?
Axel doubles around and checks out what I’m doing. He politely sniffs, too, then turns away and bumps me with his shoulder, indicating I should follow. Some faint stirring tickles my brain as if he’s trying to communicate
with me, wolf to wolf, but I can’t hear more than his emotions, since I’m not bonded into the pack to hear his thoughts. Maybe he’s saying, “This is wolf territory-get used to it.”
Since I can’t really pick up his communication, I leave my investigation and trot behind him. Deeper in the marsh, Axel pauses, lifts his head, and scents something. I follow his lead and catch a familiar animal smell-the deer. My adrenaline kicks in, and I fight the urge to lift my muzzle and howl. It’s just us, so there’s no use in calling, though, just like when it was me and Mama.
Axel trots ahead and pauses, looking back over his shoulder at me and then ahead through some shrubbery at a clearing. I spot a herd of little deer, and a wave of excitement ripples through me. I know Axel feels it, too. He gets low in a semi-crouch, then bursts into the clearing.
The deer scatter, and the chase is on!
I keep an eye on Axel’s movements, but my wolf instinct tells me all I need to know. We run beside and behind the frightened deer as they seek safety in the forest. A couple of deer stumble and fall back, but then they catch up with the others.
Axel cuts one of the stumblers away from the herd. It starts to panic and bleat, making wild, panicked sounds of alarm.
A buck doubles back and sets to attack Axel, antlers down. It makes a couple of quick snorts, followed by a hoof stomp. Axel charges and retreats, charges and retreats, careful to duck out of the way of the buck’s sharp, spearing antlers.
I try to corral the young deer Axel set as our target by lunging back and forth, my exhilaration building. But the deer makes a bolt for it and scrambles away to join the safety of the herd.
Disappointed in myself, I head towards Axel. He’s still warring with the buck.
I guess we’re going to feast on a male deer. I creep up behind the buck, who still has its eye on Axel.
The buck whirls on me at the last second, but I jet out of the way. Axel nips at its hind leg, and it pivots to attack him instead.
I leap for its haunches, my teeth connecting, only to be nailed in the neck by its other rear leg. I yelp and scramble out of the way. Blood streams from the deer’s hindquarters as it spins to charge me. The smell is intoxicating and sends me even higher into attack mode.
Axel darts in to take another chunk from the deer’s rear. He’s quicker than I am when the buck strikes out, narrowly missing his head. But now the buck has two injuries, and it’s limping, clearly in pain. It circles around
to Axel, and I charge toward it and seize the back thigh. The buck falters, and its rear legs give way.
Axel goes for the kill, tearing into the neck of our prey as it huffs its last breath. His teeth land solid, and he shakes and rips the deer’s throat out. Then he tears apart its belly with his powerful jaws. I crawl toward the fallen deer, but some instinct tells me to wait for my Alpha to feast before I begin. I sit on my haunches, my tongue lolling out as I pant with eagerness, a high whine escaping unbidden. It smells so good I’m drooling.
Axel rips out the liver and chomps it down. Then, he rips and tears at the diaphragm, making room for his muzzle. Once he has access to the chest cavity, he shoves his nose inside and goes for the heart. He pulls it free of the chest and steps over, gently setting it on the ground at my feet. I know it’s the best part, a precious prize that he’s honoring me with. I feel like the highest of all beings as I lean in and rub my face along Axel’s crimson one, licking the blood from his fur. It’s salty and delicious on my tongue, and I clean him for another minute before stepping back to consume the prize he’s given me.
I can feel the pride rolling off Axel, that he thinks we did good, that we make a good hunting team. I can’t deny it, and I feel myself preening under his attention. I know the gift of the heart is more than a reward for being a
good hunter, though. It’s a precious sacrifice he’s making, showing me that I deserve the best, even better than what he had. That he’ll put me first.
When I’m done, Axel nudges me, and together we turn back to the small animal. I tear the fur away from the hind leg’s muscles and eat the delicious meat. It’s a lesser prize than the liver or heart, but I’m in feast mode, and my wolf is the happiest she’s been in a long, long time.
We feast as other carnivores-crows, a small fox, a buzzard or two- circle around, waiting for the leftovers. A couple of times, Axel has to chase away the bold ones who try to pick at the meat before we’re finished. I stand over the kill, admiring his power and finesse, my wolf swelling with pride and adoration as he skillfully defends what is ours.
When we’re both glutted and happy, Axel trots away, looks over his shoulder at me, and gestures for me to follow him. We head through the woods for a few minutes before emerging at a spring, steam rising from the warm water. We both leap into the pool, splash about and lap the warm, mineral-infused water.
Axel approaches me and begins to lick my neck-the place where the buck kicked me. It feels so soothing to be nurtured by someone. I’ve been the caregiver to Mama since I came of age six years ago, and being cared for is like a sweet memory of childhood. I fall into a lull, eyes half-closed, as Axel licks and cleans my wounds.
Something makes my fur stand on end, though, and I turn and sniff the air, scanning the trees at the same time. I can smell another wolf. Someone is watching us, I just know it. A flicker of movement catches my attention in the trees, and I whip my head back around, my ears pricked. Suddenly, Mama’s words come back to me.
Wolves are the enemy. They’ll betray you. Never trust a wolf.
Is someone watching us? And who? Did Axel ask Ama to come along in case I attacked him and tried to escape, like he did last night when he left? And if it’s not her, then who is it? Could it be Mama’s ghost keeping an eye on me, watching over me, reminding me not to give in no matter how good it feels to have Axel’s tongue cleaning my wound?
The thought of Mama coming back to warn me sends shivers through my soul. Add the fear of being watched to the mantra she instilled in me- never trust the wolves-and I know I need to get away. I scramble from the hot spring and bolt into the woods in a panic, trying to shake off the spell of contentment of being with Axel, so I can remember that he’s not safe. He hurt me and my wolf, no matter how good he makes us feel now. I need to get away before I forget that he’s the enemy.