Luna
The familiar sight of Axel’s house sends another shock of pain through me. I wonder when the waves of hurt will stop crashing over me, taking me by surprise. On his porch, Axel shifts back to a man. He seemed so big when I first saw him, but after a month with the triplets, he no longer looks like a giant. He’s strong and muscular and tall, but he’s also lean and tight where they are bulging walls of muscle.
I stay in my wolf form. I don’t trust him-or myself. My wolf soul still cries for him to be ours, even after what he did.
He sighs and opens the door, gesturing for me to enter. I pad inside and scent the floor and the air. His house is so much cleaner than the triplets,’ even now that we clean it every few days. But I prefer the smell of dirt and forest that we track into the dirty cabin over the clean, old smell of Axel’s house. I also don’t care for the scent of Ama that lingers.
“It’s late,” Axel says with a sigh. “You can make yourself comfortable in the guest room. Unless…”
He gives me a searching look, then shakes his head and turns, heading up the stairs without waiting for an answer. I pad after him on my
wolf paws. He swings open the door to one of the bedrooms and gestures for me to enter.
“You’re safe here, Luna,” he says quietly. “No one will bother you.
That includes me.”
He waits, like he expects me to answer. When I don’t, he turns and trudges off down the hall to his room, the room where-
I block the thought before it can get started. This house is haunted with memories that are worse than ghosts. I know my human can’t handle them tonight, that my wolf has to take care of her. I hop onto the bed and curl up at the foot, still in my wolfskin, and fall asleep.
That’s my first night at Axel’s house. The next day, he goes to work before I wake and comes home at dark looking tired. We eat dinner in silence. He watches me, but he doesn’t mention the True Mate bond again. The second night, he gives me a toothbrush and stands in the bathroom door while I brush. He asks if I’m going to sleep in the guest room. There’s something he’s not saying, but I don’t know what. I think he’s afraid I’ll run again. He doesn’t know what happened in the month we were apart, but he must know I have nowhere else to go.
I tell him yes, and I go to bed. I lie awake, turned to the window where the past-full moon shines through the thin white curtains. Are the guys out on their porch, drinking beer right now? Did they forgive Ethan for
what we did? Is everything back to good between them now that I’m gone? I hope I did the right thing, that they’re happy and getting along again. I smile and close my eyes, wondering how it’s possible to feel happy and sad at the same time.
The next day is the same. I wander around Axel’s small house, wondering what to do with myself. The house is clean, so I can’t help him there. I’m under strict instructions not to leave the house while he’s gone, so I can’t go wander and look for edible plants like I could outside the triplets’ house. And when I think about making food, I remember the way the pack looked at me when I ate in front of them. I shudder and decide not to even attempt to cook.
Axel hasn’t commented on my hair even though I came out of my wolfskin on my first day here. He gives me clothes to wear that are too small for him-stretchy little pants, a tight shirt that barely covers my nipples, a very small skirt, and other random items he has on hand.
That night, he comes to the door of my bedroom when I’m getting under the blankets. It’s raining outside, fat droplets slapping the windows and making the screens bow in and out. Axel stands there watching me, an expression on his face that I can’t read. But I can feel sadness sitting heavy around him like a dense fog over the water that doesn’t lift even when the sun shines.
“Goodnight,” I say, not sure what to say to this quiet man. He’s not grumpy like Mama or Warrick, where you can feel something brewing under the mood. He’s weighed down by his own sadness, one that goes far deeper than any mood. If he’s sad about me, it’s his own doing.
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, then steps into the room. His lips are tight, and he pauses, like he might turn and leave. Instead, he comes to the bed and sits down on the edge. Lightning flashes outside, and thunder makes me wince. I wonder if the water will rise up to claim what remains of the little house I built so long ago.
“Luna,” Axel starts, clearing his throat before going on. “I want you to know, I’m sorry. I’m-I’m just so fucking sorry.”
He looks at me with pleading, miserable eyes.
I know what I’m supposed to say. I snuggle down under the blankets, a shiver going through me when the wind brings a fine mist of rain through the window. “I forgive you.”
He pulls back, surprise making his brows lift. “You do?” “Yes,” I say. “You were right. We don’t belong together.” “That’s not… Luna, I’m sorry because I was wrong.”
“Maybe you were wrong when you did it,” I agree. “We were meant to be together then. You said we weren’t, but my wolf always knows. But by doing what you did, you made your words come true.”
feel?”
His blue eyes search mine for a long minute. “Is that really how you
I nod, feeling as sad as he looks to admit this truth. “Because you
separated us, we’re no longer meant to be together. Fate wouldn’t mean for me to be with someone who would hurt me that way. I didn’t understand then, but I do now.”
“Your wolf doesn’t feel anything?”
My wolf feels lots of things. She’s crying inside me, even as my human eyes remain dry. I know that I’m right. We can never be meant to be together after what he did. That was the whole point. And it worked. Being here now, I see how wrong we are, no matter how much my wolf longs to bond with him again, to crawl into his warm arms and let him hold us tight through the storm, put back together all the parts that were ripped away by severing the bond.
That’s not possible, though. It’s like unbreathing a breath you already took.
“You severed the bond between us,” I say, my fingertips absently stroking the crescent moon scar on my arm. “It’s not there anymore, no matter how much you regret it.”
Without another word, Axel rises and leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind him. A long roll of thunder barrels toward us, so loud it
rattles the house when it passes. I curl onto my side, my chest aching with loneliness.
When I wake, the sun shines in the window, beating down on my face and arms as it makes its morning ascent in the sky. I stumble out of bed, get ready for the day, and then head downstairs. The very air in the house feels heavy and sad. I grab a piece of bread and look for things to put inside it. Ethan taught me about sandwiches. The thought of him makes me smile as I layer on a cock-like piece of meat, some tiny orange slices floating in their juices, and some salty green fruits with a little red center in each one. I wrap it all up and take it onto the porch to eat, knowing by the sweet juice already running down my wrist that it’ll be a messy one.
I sit on the steps and take a bite, trying to decide what to do. I don’t know where I belong, but it sure isn’t here. I can’t go back to the brothers and destroy their peace, and I can’t go home to the swamp. If there’s anything left in the debris of our house, it’s probably not useable, and I don’t know how to get more tin and nails.
A motorcycle rounds the corner and captures my attention. My heart leaps in my chest and then races as if to greet the rider. Water sprays from beneath the tires as it speeds in my direction. I squint at it as it approaches, my frozen heart beginning to thaw. I can’t let myself hope, and yet, I do.
There can only be one man riding with no shirt, hair flying back, and the tattoo of a wolf family on his broad chest.
Callan.
I want to leap up and run to him, throw myself into his arms. But then I remember leaving, and why I left. Has he come to warn Axel about the conflict I’ll bring?
My wolf woofs happily inside me, insisting he’s come for a different reason, that he’s come for us.
Callan rolls right up the sidewalk and parks in the sparse grass in front of Axel’s home. He kicks the stand down and swings his long leg over the frame of the bike.
“How’d you find me?” I say, folding my arms over my chest and trying to hide my smile as he stalks over.
“I’m a wolf.” His arms cross, too, as he faces me, studying me with a somber expression. “I scented until I found you.”
“Really?” I ask, uncrossing my arms when my sandwich dribbles juice down my leg. I shove it in my mouth, so I won’t say something else, like begging him to take me back and promising I won’t do any more shaving with Ethan, no matter how good it feels.
“Come home, Luna.”
I swallow down the sandwich even though it sticks in my aching throat. “I don’t have a home.”
“You’re wrong,” he says. “You left before we could tell you.”
“You were fighting,” I say, my eyes aching as hard as my throat. “I made you fight.”
He scratches his beard. “We’re a bunch of stubborn men,” he says. “We find things to fight about whether you’re there or not. But you know what happens then?”
I shake my head.
“We work things out,” he says. “If you stuck around, you’d have known that. We came to a decision. Warrick, too. We all agree, your home is with us-if that’s where you want to be.”
I nod, a tear leaking down my cheek.