Ava
“What are you doing, Malysh?”
Nikolai asks, his voice low yet curious as he watches me stack pillow after pillow in the space between us.
The corner of my mouth pulls downward, barely sparing him a glance. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m building a barrier” I reply simply, reaching for another pillow.
Nikolai leans back against the headboard, the mattress crinkling softly under his movements. His gaze never leaves mine as he watches me effectively build the only thing I could come up with last minute to serve as a barrier.
“And why exactly do you need a barrier, Solnyshko? Especially one made from such flimsy building material” He says, eyeing said flimsy building material.
His comment shouldn’t bother me half as much as it does and yet it does.
I release a puff of air, tucking the stray strands from my bun to the back of my ear before shooting him a sharp look.
“If you must know I intend for there to be some sort of distance between us tonight. As long as this barrier is in place, there will be no form of physical contact between us.” I say proudly, stopping to admire my work.
Nikolai and I have been married for over a month now and the farthest we’ve gone as a married couple was last night when I let him put his mouth on my lady bits.
While most married couples spent their first night together having raunchy, toe-curling sex, the closest Nikolai and I have gotten to the actual act of intercourse all happened while I was either high out of my mind or slightly buzzed from the adrenaline from confronting his bitchy ex.
Not that I’m complaining. Both times were incredible. Better than incredible in fact.
They were mind-blowing. Nikolai is the first man I’ve ever allowed to see me in that way, and while that in itself shouldn’t be embarrassing, every time we did something, I was always under some type of influence, which was why it was always easy for me to fall back.
But tonight there was none of that.
Nothing to blame if I let myself fall into my husband’s arms again and let him touch me the way only lovers should.
I wasn’t going to let myself get sucked into the desire I could already see swirling in his green orbs or the all-consuming way his touch felt on my skin only to wake up tomorrow feeling disappointed when I didn’t find him by my side.
The almost child-like barricade stares back at me. It’s nothing fancy and my attempts are flimsy at most for someone who is trying to protect herself. The makeshift fortress is there to separate me from the man who, despite my best efforts, has wormed his way under my skin in ways I never expected and by God, I hope it does its job.
Maybe if I add more pillows…
“Do you really think a bunch of pillows are going to stop me from touching you?”
I purse my lips, giving his question a moment’s consideration.
“No”
“Then why are you creating it?”
“Because I’d like to sleep peacefully knowing that I at least made an effort to prevent anything indecent from happening between us.”
The corner of his mouth pulls up into an insufferable smirk, “I thought you like it when I am being indecent”
My face reddens at the innuendo in his statement. I push down the flutter of nerves his words cause in my stomach and reach for another pillow.
“I don’t” I warn. He sends a roughish smirk in my direction at my response, watching me continue to mount one pillow after the other.
Asshole.
“You don’t like it when I touch you?” he asks, his tone suddenly serious.
“I despise it”
I’m lying through my teeth at this point because the truth is, a simple brush from this man’s fingers has the ability to unravel me completely. I’d be lying if I said his touch didn’t ignite something hot and uncontrollable within me every time we made contact.
It’s why this barrier must stay in place. To protect myself from acting on the instinct my stupid vagina is communicating to my brain.
If I thought the first time Nikolai gave me an orgasm turned me into a horny hormonal monster, then the second time only upgraded said monster into a horny grade-A demon.
Nikolai’s gaze darkens, a flicker of something dangerous passing through his green eyes.
“Remove the pillows, Solnyshko”, He says. It almost sounds like he’s begging me, and if I didn’t know any better, I might think he was. I shoot him my best-unimpressed look and continue arranging my makeshift barrier.
Without this barrier, I might do something stupid like roll over to his side and curl up to him.
Cuddling with my husband would be a devastating mistake, one that would most definitely lead to my undoing. Sure, my attempts at a barrier might be considered laughable now, assumptious even, but I’ve read enough romance novels in my lifetime to know what happens when a man and a woman share a bed with the amount of tension Nikolai and I have.
And it isn’t exactly PG.
“No,” I say sweetly, batting my lashes at him.
He leans closer, his presence suffocating, even with the so-called barrier between us. “If you’re worried that I’ll touch you while you’re sleeping, don’t be. I don’t take what isn’t willingly given to me,” he says, his voice calm but laced with an undercurrent of steel.
I swallow, “Neither do I. Which is why I’m giving you the same courtesy”
Nikolai huffs, his tone dripping with frustration “This is ridiculous,”. He mutters low enough that I can still hear him.
I reach for another pillow just as Nikolai reaches for my hand. I barely have time to process his actions before he tugs me to his side of the bed.
“Nikolai,” I shriek, the words muffled as I land face-first into his bare chest. My face heats. He flips us until I’m on my back and he’s hovering over me.
“Unhand me this instant”, I demand, struggling against his hold. He makes a low grunting sound deep in the back of his throat and pins me to the mattress with one hand while the other reaches for the blanket to pull it over us. When we’re both covered in its warmth, he wraps a hand around my waist and pulls my back flush against his chest, effectively trapping me on his side of the bed.
I try to wiggle out of his grasp but he only tightens his grip around my waist and pulls me tighter against him, leaving me with no room for escape. My heart stops, then restarts with a doubled rate When my back is fully pressed against him, forcing me to feel every inch of him and when I say every inch, I mean. Every. Single inch.
In the course of our struggle, Nikolai’s length brushes against my ass and every muscle in my body goes rigid as heat floods my face. If Nikolai notices my sudden reaction he doesn’t show it and continues trying to keep me from moving.
“Let me go” I hiss, squirming in his hold, but it only seems to arouse him further.
Crap.
“You’re acting crazy” I whisper harshly, my voice barely steady as I try to act unaffected by the hardness currently poking at my ass.
I’m not wearing anything special to sleep. Just a plain old tank top and a pair of short shorts that ride up at the slightest movement. His body heat radiates against me, his breath tickling the back of my neck with his warmth. I try to ignore the shiver that runs down my spine at the subtle friction we create when he squeezes my hand.
My nipples tighten behind the fabric of my tank top and I bite down on my button lip, trying my best not to pay attention to the liquid heat building between my thighs.
This is why I needed a barrier. One touch from him and I’m squirming for all the wrong reasons.
Nikolai lets out a low chuckle, his lips brushing against the back of my neck. “Crazy?” he murmurs, his tone laced with dark amusement “Says the woman who thought a pillow fortress could keep me from touching her”
Touche
My entire body is on high alert, every nerve hyperaware of his proximity, his warmth and the infuriating way he seems completely unfazed by his erection digging into my ass.
After a few seconds of unsuccessfully frailing around, I let out a frustrated breath, eventually going limp in his arms.
I whip my head around to glare at him, but the moment my eyes meet his, I instantly feel hot all over. His dark green gaze burns into me the heat I see swirling in too bright to ignore. If I thought he wasn’t affected by the way we were touching I’d been completely wrong.
“I hate you”, I whisper into the darkness, which only causes his chest to rumble against me in a low chuckle.
“You’re a terrible liar Solnyshko”
He’s right, I am.
His fingers brush the waistband of my shorts, and I feel my muscles twitch at the Featherlight contact.
I roll my eyes, though my body betrays me by relaxing into his warmth. “I do,” I mutter under my breath turning away from him.
Nikolai hums thoughtfully, resting his chin lightly on the top of my head. “And yet, here you are,”
“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re the one making it impossible for me to move. Once you fall asleep I’ll go back to my side of the bed”
Nikolai hums softly, a low chuckle rumbling his chest. The sound holds enough amusement to make the irritation in my chest flare.
“Of course, Solnyshko.”
I struggle to ignore the way his body feels, all pressed up against mine, solid, warm, and far too comforting for my liking. His arousal presses firmly against my ass and he makes no effort to adjust or apologise for the bulge in his pants. Instead, he seems perfectly content with the situation, as though this is exactly what he’d been aiming for during our struggle.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the bastard wanted it.
Nikolai presses a soft kiss to my temple the action far too intimate for people like us.
“Go to sleep, Malysh” He whispers, lips brushing against the outer shell of my ear.
I want to argue, to tell him I don’t need him to hold me and sleep but the warmth of his body and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my back betrays my voice, lulling me into a reluctant calm and before I realise it my body grows lax under his touch.
“I’ll be here when you wake up”
As much as I hate to admit it, being wrapped up in my husband’s arms doesn’t feel too bad. Last night I had passed out before we even got the chance to cuddle. This feels nice. Too nice.
The last thought that slips from my mind as I surrender to sleep is all the reasons it shouldn’t