Ava
I insist on saying goodbye to Tatiana before we leave. As you would expect Nikolai isn’t exactly thrilled at my need to be polite but I tell him that it’s rude to leave without at least saying goodbye to the bride and groom
Tatiana smiles when she sees us approaching, her expression a one of excitement and pleasant surprise.
“Ava,” She chortles, standing up from her seat beside her new husband and smoothing a hand down the front of her dress.
Even after hours of festivities and celebrations, Tatiana still manages to look as beautiful as ever, rocking that radiant glow all brides seem to possess during their wedding. Except you’re me of course. While Tatiana had spent the earlier hours of the evening floating effortlessly around the hall with her groom in hand, greeting close family and friends, I spent my time trying to recall the face of one single guest who attended my wedding. I couldn’t.
Tatiana was surrounded by people she loved on her big day, while I was surrounded by people my almost father-in-law determined suitable enough to attend my wedding.
Envy claws at my chest, sharp and relentless but I swallow it down, offering her a smile I hope looks effortless.
“I didn’t expect to see the two of you still here. I figured you would have left by now” Her voice is light and her gaze flickers briefly to where Nikolai is standing a few feet away from me. Impatience spilling from his posture.
I ignore my husband’s obvious discomfort and focus my attention on Tatiana. “I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye”
Tatiana’s smile widens, and she steps closer, embracing me in a hug. One thing to know about Tatiana is that she gives the best hugs, it’s one of the things I’ve learned about her these last few days. “That’s very kind of you Ava. I’m really glad you could come. You are honestly the best bridesmaid a girl can ask for”
Tatiana is one of those people in life that you don’t expect to like as much as you like them. When I first met her I didn’t know what to think about her. Spending time with her these last few days has made me realise why she’s one of the few people my husband trusts. I return the hug smiling widely, “It’s the least I can do considering I got you locked up with me in a holding cell. I’m sorry about that once again”
She laughs pulling away, “Don’t be. It was the most fun I’ve had in weeks”
We both laugh and I congratulate her and her husband once more before Nikolai and I make our way towards the exit.
The drive home is one that’s filled with awkward silence and electric-charged glances. Neither Nikolai nor I say a word to each other, but each glance we share is a stark reminder of what’s to come.
My lips suddenly feel dry and I quickly dart my tongue over them in a subconscious effort to ease the knot in my stomach.
“Kira will return with Ivan and Kat,” Nikolai says breaking the silence. I twist my torso towards him as he continues. “She’ll be spending the night in their guest house. I’ve already informed them”
Oh. “That means we have the house to ourselves,” I say and he nods, gripping the steering wheel tighter as warmth blooms in my chest. I hum in response hoping that he can’t see the way that single confirmation sets a whirlwind of emotions flooding every part of my mind. I shift in my seat trying to ease the nerves tangling around my veins.
In the library, I’d been so caught up in the moment that I’d forgotten about everything else. The way he looked at me touched me; everything about that single moment locked up away in a dusty library had felt so surreal. So unnerving. But reality was curl and it came crashing down with a jolt that pulled me out of my emotions.
He was taking us home to continue where we left off and a rush of uncertainty flooded my entire body at the prospect of being alone with him tonight.
My gaze flickers to his hand on the console, and I let my gaze wander over his long, defined fingers that had touched me so intimately moments ago. The memory clings to me like a vice and I try to keep my breathing under control. His touch had awakened something deep inside me that I had no idea even existed. He had touched me so precisely like he already knew the button to press to set me off.
I’d be lying if I said the prospect of going further than kissing with him hadn’t excited me, but I knew deep down I wanted to keep that part of myself for someone I loved or at least cared about, and Nikolai wasn’t that person.
He could be.
The tiny voice in my brain nags and I bite down on my bottom lip. Is Nikolai really someone I can fall in love with? Is he someone I can let into my heart and let myself be vulnerable with?
Before any of this evening happened, I always thought that the kind of man I’d end up falling in love with was someone with a more charming outlook on life. Someone who worshipped the ground I walked on and loved to take me out on dates while we star gazed after.
I wanted a hearts and roses kind of guy and Nikolai didn’t strike me as a hearts and roses kind of guy.
I can’t deny my body’s visceral reaction to him. The way a simple brush of his skin against mine leaves my mind in shambles or the way his kisses leave me breathless and wanting more. The point is, that despite all of this, never once did I find myself wanting to compromise for the sweet words and gentle promises I’d imagined.
Until now.
I push the thoughts away, burying them in the farthest part of my mind. Nikolai isn’t the kind of man I can give my heart to. My body? Yes, most definitely, he’s proven thus far to be able to handle that quite well, but my heart?
I glance over at him, watching the way his jaw works while his eyes remain trained on the road.
Never.
When we finally pull up to the guest house, he steps out of the vehicle and rounds the front to my side, opening the door for me.
I mumble a quiet thank you as he helps me out of the car, his presence close behind.
My heart pounds nervously in my chest as his fingers linger on the small of my back, guiding me towards the door.
Am I supposed to be this nervous?
The truth is that despite all my earlier reservations, I want whatever it is that’s going to happen when we’re both inside. I want to feel him close to me. I want to feel his body against mine and his lips against my ear as he whispers dirty things to me in Russian like he did in the library.
Once inside the house, I’m instantly flooded by warmth but I barely have any time to relish it before my back is against the door. Nikolai places his hand above my head, his eyes boring into mine as he tucks a stray strand of hair into the back of my ear, pinning me to the solid oak door.
“You look nervous, Solnyshko”, he murmurs, his voice deathly low, and a shiver runs down my spine at the way he says my nickname. I’d once thrown a fit about how he called me that dreaded nickname but now the sound of the word on his tongue is all I look forward
“A little,” I admit. “I mean, it’s not every day I find myself alone with a man who has the ability to melt my panties off with a single touch.”
Oh God, he’s so close and he smells so good. When we were in the library I almost caved at how good he smelled.
The corner of his lips quirks up slightly in that infuriating way that makes the butterflies in my belly run wild. “You aren’t wearing any panties”
He murmurs tracing my jaw with the pad of his fingers. Heat creeps up my neck.
“Don’t be nervous, Solnyshko,” he tilts my head back so that I’m looking directly into his eyes. His breath tickles my lips, so close I can almost taste the champagne on his breath. My heart rattles violently in my chest and the space between us dwindles with each shuttering exhale that escapes me until his lips are brushing against mine.
“I’ll take good care of you, Solnyshko” he whispers, lips practically touching mine with each word “Always”
And then his mouth is on mine, soft, brutal, forcing me to yield to him and when I do everything melts away.
Except for him.