Ava
“Earth to Ava”
I blink, focusing my attention on a very concerned-looking Kat. Her perfectly manicured nails drum lightly against the table as she watches me, worry etched into her brows.
“Is everything okay?”
No, everything is, in fact, not okay.
I got high and allowed my husband to give me an orgasm. Which was dumb as hell on my part but that is my current predicament. What the hell is wrong with me? It’s like, my mind and my vagina are two sides of the same coin. One knew that what happened last night was wrong while the other was determined to make it happen, preferably without all the clothing.
I groan.
“Everything is great” I offer her what I hope looks like an easy smile to sell it but she only purses her lips, narrowing her gaze at me.
“Right,” she says, drawing the word out suspiciously, “So why haven’t you touched your ice cream yet?” She gestures towards the half-eaten strawberry ice cream cone in my hand.
Shit, I’d completely forgotten about that. Pink liquid spills out from the corner and onto my fingers. I grab a napkin from the table, using it to dab the edges and my fingers profusely before getting another one to wrap my cone.
“Is your tummy upset? Is that why you don’t want to eat your ice cream?”
Kira pipes in, looking at me from across the table. We were currently at the food court of the shopping mall we’d come to after Kat unceremoniously declared today a girl’s day out during breakfast.
We spent the day going from boutique to boutique searching for the perfect dress for Tatiana’s wedding day for Kat and Kira.
Eventually, Kira’s legs couldn’t take anymore, and we had to sit down. Kat suggested the food court since it was basically the perfect place to get food and rest.
Between now and the boutiques, I’d caught my mind wandering far too often to a certain green-eyed devil who’d given me my first orgasm in the back seat of his car.
Heat rushes to my face at the memory of him whispering dirty Russian in my ear as I came and I clear my throat, “No, it’s not that.”
“Well, something is wrong; you’ve barely said a word since we got out of the house” Kat taps her spoon on the edge of the cup of her vanilla ice cream before using it to take a bite.
True but not for the reason she thinks.
I haven’t told anyone about what happened between me and Nikolai just yet, partly because I have no idea what it means.
I wish I could blame my actions on the weed-infused champagne I had been drinking last night, but I knew that would be a lie.
Sure, I wasn’t entirely sober, but I was very much still in control of my senses.
His words had been my driving force. I knew I could’ve stopped it anytime, but I didn’t and now I’m not so sure if that was a good idea.
Running my fingers through my hair, I attempt to avoid Kat’s gaze but my avoidal only heightens her suspicion.
“You’re definitely hiding something” She examines me hummingly. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Volkovs, it’s their ability to sense bullshit a mile away, much like what Kat’s doing right now.
“I’m not hiding anything” I lie. My voice sounds a little bit too defensive, even to my ears, to be convincing.
Kat arches a brow and leans back in her chair, squinting her eyes with the kind of expression that says, ‘Sure you aren’t’.
“You know you’re a terrible liar Ava. I’ve told you before, if you intend on lying to my cousin one day you’re going to have to work on that”
Like I said, sniffing out bullshit is a family trait.
“Are you in trouble?” It’s Kira’s turn to look worried. She looks up from her cone, remnants of the chocolate ice cream she’s licking smudged on her cheek.
“Because if you are, I’ll help you,” she says, trying her best to look fierce. A laugh slips out of my throat, it’s the first honest one to do so since we left the house.
“And how will you do that?” I ask and she shrugs,
“I’ll call Papa”, she says as a matter of fact.
It’s funny; the person she thinks can help me is, in fact, the cause of my problems.
“No, sweetie, I’m fine,” I say reassuringly. I reach out and swipe the corner of her mouth, effectively removing the chocolate smudge. Smiling I say, “Eat your ice cream”
She pouts but she doesn’t oppose and goes back to happily licking her ice cream.
Kat’s eyes are still focused on me, and as expected, I crack.
“Fine,” I say, “Something did happen.”
“I fucking knew it” Kat exclaims, excitedly clapping her hands. The act earns her a glare from the mother in the mother and son duo sitting at the table adjacent to us.
The mother says something in Russian, most likely berating Kat for her lack of volume control to which Kat shrugs and responds with something else in Russian.
The woman gasps, clutching her invincible pearls. She drags her son from the table but not before shooting a glare at Kat.
When she’s gone, Kat and I both burst into laughter, the sound revibrating in the air as we gasp for air. Kira looks up, confused by our sudden outburst.
“You guys are weird,” she announces, shaking her head as if she’s the adult in the situation. Her ice cream is almost gone now, the cone reduced to a few small bites.
Kat wipes away an invisible teardrop from her eye, still laughing. “Now tell me,” She says leaning in, “what exactly has been on your mind?”
I sigh, knowing that denial is futile at this point.
“It’s not exactly something I can say In Front of Kira”
“Why not?” Kira pouts, “I won’t tell”
I wish that was my problem but it isn’t.
Since knowing about Kira’s ability to remember everything, I’d rather not traumatize her with the details of how her father gave me the best orgasm of my life.
Kat fetches her iPad and headphones from her bag and turns to Kira, “Kira sweetie,” Kat says grinning, “How would you like to play a game on my iPad”
Kira’s eyes light up and she excitedly uses one hand to collect the iPad from Kat.
When the headphones are firmly in place and a quick hearing test confirms that Kira can’t hear a word we’re saying, I break.
I pour it all out, telling her everything. I start from the beginning, telling her how I couldn’t take any more of Faina’s constant taunts and decided to leave the party early, but not before snatching a bottle of champagne she was supposed to use later for one of the games as a final fuck you. I tell her about how Nikolai came to my rescue minutes after calling him and how he carried me to his car because I forgot how to walk. When I tell her about what happened in the backseat of his car and how it was the best experience of my life, I don’t leave out the part of the driver being present throughout the whole ordeal.
“I’m pretty sure we traumatized the poor guy,” I say, recalling how I’d forgotten about his existence during the car ride home.
When I finish, Kat stares at me like I’ve grown a second head, and to be fair, I can understand her reaction. I mean I did just go into extensive detail on what her cousin did to me.
The me from a week ago would be horrified by the things I let my husband do to me and the way I let him speak to me as he did them.
“I didn’t know you had it in you, Ava”, Kat says teasingly. A blush creeps up my face and I take a bite from my cone, hoping the coolness can soothe the warmth spreading across my face. It doesn’t.
“So what now? You don’t hate him anymore?”
“Of course I do”
Nikolai will always be the subject of my hatred for as long as he intended to kill my husband.
“But…”
“But I can’t deny that I’m also very, very much attracted to him.”
“Did you guys at least talk about what happened?”
I shake my head. I passed out as soon as it was over, and when I woke up this morning, I was in Nikolai’s bedroom, luckily still in my clothes, but he was nowhere to be found. Honestly, I was relieved to find him gone. I want to say it’s because I knew I wasn’t ready to face the consequences of my actions but I think now, the real reason I was so relieved this morning was because he wasn’t there to tell me what happened was a mistake.
“You’re going to have to talk to him eventually you know”
I nod, “I know, but it’s hard to talk to someone who isn’t around”
My phone dings with a notification.
“Who’s that?” Kat asks and I shrug.
I pick up my cell phone and glance at the name on the screen, “Speak of the devil and he shall appear”
I open Nikolai’s text, not knowing what to expect. He was probably texting me to see if I remembered what happened last night.
I swipe open my phone and tap the message icon.
Nikolai: Where are you Solnyshko?
I set my cone down on the table and quickly typed back a response.
Me: Out with Kat and Kira. Why?
Text bubbles pop up and disappear just as quickly. This is stupid. Why is my heart beating so loudly?
The bubbles return.
Nikolai: Come home Solnyshko
Anger burns in my chest. How dare him? He was gone this morning and instead of apologising, he’s demanding I come home.
Who does he think he is?
Your husband, apparently, a nagging voice at the back of my mind retorts, and I snort. Whatever.
Me: Why should I?
Nikolai: Because I said so.
Me: Try again
Nikolai: Because I miss you
Butterflies erupt in my belly, unbidden and unwelcome.
Stupid butterflies.
“Is that him?” I snap my gaze towards Kat only to find a teasing smile curving at her lips.
“Not a word,” I say. She mimes locking her mouth and throwing away the key.
I move my fingers rapidly across the screen firing a response before I can think about it.
Me: We need to talk about what happened last night.
Once I send the message I turn off my phone and place the device on the table.
And so it begins.