Nikolai
I should have known something was wrong the moment we boarded my private jet and I felt Ava stiffen beside me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask when I hear mumbling something under her breath I can’t quite make out. She bites the inside of her cheek, turning to me.
“I may have forgotten to mention that I’m kinda, sorta, afraid of flying.” She replies, forcing out a laugh. I stare at her, waiting for her to tell me that she’s joking, but her lips remain pressed together as she grips the armrest tightly, holding on to it like it’s her lifeline.
Of course, she’s afraid of flying.
Her body trembles and she bites down on her lower lips once we reach the runway. She looks like she’s seconds away from throwing up and for the sake of the people responsible for cleaning this jet, I hope she doesn’t.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask and she regards me briefly, her body still trembling.
“I wasn’t sure how you’d going to react.” She mutters. My stomach twists as the weight of her words presses down on my chest. She was willing to keep her fear a secret because she was scared of how I’d react. Does she think I would’ve forced her to follow me on this trip if I had known about her fear of flying?
The plane jolts again as it begins to taxi, and she tightens her grip around the armrest. Her knuckles turn white from the pressure, her fingers clenching desperately like she’s scared she’s going to break. I hear her mumbling under her breath, and then I realize-she’s counting.
“Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen,” the numbers fade, blurring into one and thenshe stops, but it’s only for a second, and then picks right back up again.
“Ava” I call out to her, but she doesn’t acknowledge me and only tightens her hold on the armrest. A second passes, and I try again; this time, my voice is softer.
“Baby,” I call. The word slips from my lips so effortlessly like it’s something I’ve been calling her since the day we first met. The numbers slow, and I notice her shoulders sag, her entire body responding to the sound of my voice.
“Open your eyes for me,” I demand softly. She nods then pries her eyes open one at a time and blinks as she tries to readjust her eyes to the lighting.
Her gaze darts frantically around the plane accompanied by the slow rise and fall of her chest as she tries to keep her breathing under control.
She looks like she’s two seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack, and I reach out my hand, wanting to touch her, to comfort her and remind her that she’s fine and that nothing is going to happen to her.
My fingers brush against hers slightly, and in an instant, she catches my dingers, replacing the armrest with my hand. Her warm fingers intertwine with mine, gripping me tightly.
She squeezes my hand once and glances in my direction. Our gaze locks for only a fraction of a second before she turns back around and resumes counting from twenty-five.
The corner of my lips twitch, fighting the urge to break into a smile. She looks frightened, but as the numbers leave her lips, twenty-five through hundred, I sense the tension in her shoulders slowly begin to evaporate.
Her grip on my hand starts to loosen, her fingers slowly relaxing as her breathing returns to normal. The tension that was once tightly coiled in her body, slowly starts to disintegrate, leaving with every inhale and exhale. I don’t move, don’t pull away, allowing her the space she needs to regain her composure, but never letting go.
She opens her eyes again then turns to me, blinking. Her eyes flutter at the sight of our fingers intertwined and I expect her to pull away or worse, but she doesn’t. She keeps her hand in mine, pressing her thumb lightly against my fingers.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.” She says softly, her eyes looking anywhere but at me. Is she apologizing?
I shake my head, ” No, Don’t apologize for that. Being afraid of something doesn’t make you weak, Solnyshko. It simply means that things scare you. You’re human after all.”
She nods, and one of my hands moves to tilt her chin so that I can get a better look at her. Against my better judgment, I press my thumb to her lips and I nearly groan at their softness. Fuck, I want to kiss. Images from our kiss in my office flash through my mind. The way those pouty lips of hers had parted as I scattered kisses along her jaw, her neck. The things I would do to see that pretty sight of her again.
Her bottom lip trembles, her gaze dropping and she nods once but doesn’t say anything. She’s stunning; even as she looks half scared to death, she still manages to take my breath away. The sun sets outside, hitting her at just the right angle and allowing me to see the light specks of yellow that flicker in her irises.
The plane jolts again and my hand falls to her thigh as she drops her face to my shoulder, letting out a shaky breath.
My body tenses and a growl lets out my throat when I feel her lips brush against my skin.
YA tak chertovski oblazhalsya. (I’m so fucking screwed)
“Ava”, I warn, and her shoulders vibrate as she fists my shirt.
Yebat (Fuck)
“Just let me stay like this. Please, just… just for a minute.”
I swallow hard and nod. I let her cling to me. I can feel the heat of her body against mine, her breath coming out in soft uneven pants, as she tries to calm herself. She feels so small against me and every part of my body is screaming at me to protect her.
She buries her face deeper into my neck, and I squeeze her thigh, my hand tightening around the softness of her skin.
My God, she’s so soft. How can anybody feel this soft? She’s warm and I want to lean closer so that I can kiss her skin until I have that warmth tucked away from the rest of the world in a place only I can reach.
I should pull away. Stop while I can still control myself. But I don’t want to.
“Nikolai,” Her lips brush over my skin as she says my name and my heart stutters in my chest. It’s the faintest touch, barely even noticeable but it’s enough to mess with my head.
“Yes, Solnyshko”, the words leave my lips in a rasp.
She pulls away slightly to look at me, her eyes filled with fear and something else. Something I recognise all too well. Lust.
“Can you distract me?”
Oh God.
I swallow, “Distract you how?”
She stutters, then tightens her hold on my shirt.
“Can you touch me?”
I’m dead. I died and went to hell and I’m now being tormented by the devil and my father.
“I don’t think you know what you’re asking of me, Solnyshko.”
I’m not a good man and if I were to touch her now the way I wanted to touch her, I cannot guarantee that I’d be able to stop.
“I do.” She insists, firmly, still looking at me, “I’m not asking for much. I just need you to distract me from all of this. I need…” she stops, her voice trailing off.
“What do you need Solnyshko?”
She swallows, then pulls her gaze to my face. “I need to not feel so alone right now.” She looks up at me, her eyes pleading. “Can you do that for me? Can you help me not to feel alone?” Tears brim in her eyes threatening to spill.
How the hell am I supposed to say no when she looks at me like I’m the only person that can offer her the relief she needs?
I groan and bury my face against her neck, inhaling her sweet scent as my lips brush over her soft skin. Fuck, she smells good. Like cherries and coconut. I’m near fucking delirious when I press a kiss on the spot connecting her shoulder to her neck. I’ve already lost the battle.
“Better?” I whisper and lightly nip her shoulder. She shivers against me, threading her fingers through my hair. She feels so small, and when she gently massages my head, I nearly fucking lose it.
“I don’t… I need…”
“Shhh” I stop her, sucking lightly on her skin. “I’ve got you.”
She bites down on her bottom lip holding back the sounds that threaten to spill from her. I grin against her neck and drop my hand on her thigh to her leg, letting it slip beneath her skirt. If it were just the two of us on this plane, I’d pull her lip from between her teeth and pull her to me until she was straddling my waist and grinding her sweet pussy against the raging boner in my pants. I’d tell her to stop trying to be quiet and let me hear those pretty sounds I know she’s desperate to let out.
I wait for her to push my hand away, but when she doesn’t, I take that as my cue to move it higher until I’m brushing my thumb over her thigh. The feeling of her bare skin against my fingertips sends a jolt straight to my cock. Fuck.
I wonder just how many men she’s let touch her like this and just how long it’ll take for me to hunt every one of them down and cut off their hands for thinking they were worthy enough to touch what belongs to me.
I tighten my grip on her leg. She doesn’t tell me to stop or attempt to pull my hand from underneath her skirt. She lets me wander. Tracing and teasing her skin until she’s panting against me
“Nikolai,” she whispers, gripping my sleeves tightly. Both my hands are free now, and when she presses a palm to my chest, I expect her to have come to her senses and want to push me away. But she pulls me closer.
It’d be so easy to pull her lips to mine and taste her again, just one tilt of her neck and her lips would be on mine, but I doubt she’s ready for that.
I haven’t fucked a woman in three years, and if I take Ava now, while she’s scared and desperate for a distraction, I don’t think I’d be able to stomach the look she’d give me after.
With one final kiss on her shoulder, I drag myself away from her, pulling back just enough to look at her. My face hovers over hers. I take in the sight of her, the way her pupils dilate and the way her lips part as she looks at me. She scrunches her nose and it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.
“Why did you stop,” her voice is low and breathless and fuck, if the way she’s looking at me right now doesn’t mess with the beating organ in my heart.
“Look,” I nod towards the window, and her brows furrow, confusion flickering in her eyes before she follows my gaze.
Outside a blanket of deep blue stretches out endlessly around us, puffy white clouds drifting along the planes lazily.
Her eyes widen and I marvel at how easily her expression shifts.
“We’re flying.”
She says, looking out at the bright blue sky.
I nod, ” We are.”
She turns to me, smiling brightly and I nearly forget how to breathe. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile like that at me. It’s addicting. I never want that smile to leave her face again.