HANNAH
The shrill ring of my phone slices through the silence of the room. With a reluctant groan, I peel back from the warmth of my duvet, the chill of the room prickling my skin as I stretch a hand toward the scattered contents of my purse on the floor. My fingers fumble for the device, the cold touch of the screen against my palm grounding me back to reality.
“Hi, Mom,” I croak out, my voice a raspy whisper, raw from the tears that had carved rivers down my cheeks earlier.
“Are you happy now? Are you?” Mom’s voice is a sharp bark through the speaker, each word a staccato that makes my brows knit together in confusion.
“What are you talking about, Mom? Is something wrong?” I inquire, my voice laced with concern as I hold the phone to my ear.
“Is something wrong? Did you really just ask me if something is wrong?” Her voice crescendos into a yell that has me pulling the phone away from my ear. “Your sister is fighting for her life in the hospital, and you’re asking me if something is wrong.”
“Alice is in the hospital? What happened? Is she okay?” I gasp, the shock of her words sending a jolt of disbelief coursing through me.
“Yes, and it’s all your fault. Why couldn’t you just do as I said? The day was hard enough for your sister. You just needed to make her feel better, not worse.”
“What are you talking about, Mom? And which hospital are you at?” I ask on my feet in an instant, my heart thundering against my ribcage. I rifle through my closet, grabbing at clothes with trembling hands. Despite the annoyance Alice often stirs in me, the thought of her in pain twists my insides. I need to see her to understand why she would do this.
“Saint John,” Mom snaps, her voice a mix of anger and despair. “And I hope you’re coming here to make her feel better, not worse.”
“I’ll be there shortly,” I promise, my mind filled with worry. I don’t even understand how I’m at fault for Alice ending up in the hospital fighting for her life, but that doesn’t matter now. Once I get to the hospital, I’ll deal with everything.
I step out of the cab, and the oppressive weight of the storm-laden sky presses down upon me, the dark clouds roiling above as if in warning. The air is thick with the scent of impending rain, a metallic tang that seems to resonate with the turmoil churning inside me. I hand the cab driver his fare and hurry inside.
The automatic doors of the hospital slide open with a whoosh, a stark contrast to the brewing tempest outside. I’m immediately engulfed by the sterile scent of antiseptic and the soft buzz of fluorescent lights. My heart hammers in my chest, each beat a reminder of Alice’s perilous state. I scan the bustling corridor for a nurse, anyone who can guide me to my sister’s side.
Spotting a nurse with a clipboard briskly making her way past, I intercept her with a plea for direction. She points me toward the front desk with a sympathetic glance that does little to ease the knot of anxiety in my gut.
As I navigate through the crowd of anxious faces and whispered conversations, I spot Alex’ brothers. Intent to find out Alice’s whereabouts, I move towards them, but the words freeze on my lips as they turn towards me with a tangible ferocity.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Lorenzo’s voice is a harsh bark laced with accusation and anger. I’m taken aback, my brows knitting together in confusion and hurt. His tone is accusatory, laced with a venom that suggests I am the cause of this tragedy.
“I just need to know where Alice’s room is, please,” I reply, trying to keep my voice steady despite the rising tide of emotions within me.
“Why do you even want to know?” Cameron’s question feels like another blow, his tone equally aggressive.
“Maybe so she can finish what she started?” Lorenzo adds before I can respond. His implication that I’m somehow responsible for Alice’s plight sends a wave of shock and disbelief through me.
“What happened to Alice?” I demand, my own anger rising to match theirs. How could they think I’m to blame? I haven’t seen her since the dressing room incident, which was at least two hours or more ago.
“Why are you pretending like you don’t know? Just get out of here!” The dismissal stings more than I care to admit.
“Because I don’t fucking know, that’s why! Tell me!” My frustration boils over, my voice rising in a bark that matches their hostility. I’m tired of the accusations and the insinuations,
“No! We don’t want you around her. Leave!” Lorenzo’s push is forceful, sending me staggering back. I’m on the verge of falling when suddenly, I’m steadied by a firm grip.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Alex’ voice slices through the tension like a knife, his sudden appearance catching me off guard. Confusion swirls in my mind as I try to make sense of his presence. What’s he doing here?
He pulls me back to standing, and I instinctively step out of his arms, my anger bubbling to the surface. It’s not just directed at his brothers now, but at him too. He lied to me-perhaps not outright, but his omission feels like a betrayal. He was coming to Alice, just not in the way I had assumed.
“Get your fucking mate out of here,” Cameron spits out, his words dripping with venom as he glares at me.
Alex takes a step closer to his brother, his body radiating anger. “Don’t you dare talk to my mate like that? Show her some respect; she’s your future, Luna.”
“Then she should earn it,” Cameron retorts, his eyes flashing with disgust as he turns his gaze to me. “Someone who causes another person to commit suicide isn’t worth my respect.”
The words hit me like a physical blow, and I feel the air rush out of my lungs. “Alice tried to kill herself?” I whisper, my voice trembling with shock and disbelief.
“Like you don’t already know,” Lorenzo hisses, his accusation cutting deep.
“No, I don’t,” I insist, my heart clenching with worry for Alice. “Is she alright?”
“That’s none of your business,” Lorenzo snaps, his words a harsh dismissal.
I part my lips to reply, but Alex beats me to it, his voice a low growl. “Alice is responsible for her own actions, not Hannah. Stop speaking to her like it’s her fucking fault!”
“But it is!” Cameron argues, his tone rising with each word. “If she would just reject the marriage alliance, you wouldn’t have had to reject Alice, and none of this would have happened.”
I close my eyes, rubbing my temples as the familiar weight of this argument settles on my shoulders. This fucking shit again.
“No, it’s not, and I advise you to stop blaming her for Alice’s suicide,” Alex warns, his voice leaving no room for argument.
Lorenzo opens his mouth to counter Alex, but a new voice cuts through the tension, rebuking me.
“What is wrong with you, Hannah? Why are you making a scene?” Dad whisper-yells as he joins our group, his disappointment palpable.
Mom adds her own barb, her words twisting the knife in my heart. “If this is why you came to the hospital, then I advise you to leave. I doubt your sister would even want to see you since you’re the reason she tried to kill herself.”
Shock ripples through me at her words. How could she say such a thing to her own daughter? Does she realize the impact her words can have on me? And besides, I had nothing to do with it.
Alex looks at my mother, his expression mirroring my own shock. “How can you say such a thing to your daughter? Is Alice your only child?”
“I didn’t…” Mom starts, but I cut her off, the weight of everyone’s rejection crushing me.
“No need to explain. I’m leaving,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. I spin on my heel and head towards the door, tears burning behind my eyes. If they don’t want me here, if they’re all so quick to blame me for something I had no part in, then I might as well leave. Alice probably wouldn’t even be happy to see me anyway.
“Hannah, wait!” Alex calls out, his footsteps echoing behind me as he hurries to catch up. I pause, my heart heavy, and wait for him to reach me.
When he does, his eyes are filled with concern and remorse. “I’m so sorry for my brothers’ behavior. I can’t believe he pushed you and made it seem like it was your fault for what happened when it wasn’t.”
I shrug, trying to appear nonchalant even as the pain of their accusations still stings. “It’s okay. I’m used to people treating me like shit.”
Alex shakes his head, his expression fierce. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t deserve that, and I’m sorry you had to go through it.”
He reaches out and gently takes my arm, his touch warm and comforting. His eyes lock with mine, and I can see the sincerity shining in their depths.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, tearing my gaze away from his, unable to bear the intensity of his stare.
“Come on, let me take you home,” he offers, his hand sliding down to grasp mine.
But I can’t. I need space and time to process the whirlwind of emotions that threaten to consume me. I pull my hand from his grasp, immediately missing the warmth of his touch. “No need. I want some time alone.”
Before he can argue, I move towards the exit, my steps hurried and unsteady. I hail a cab, the rain now pouring from the sky as if in sympathy with my turbulent thoughts. As I slide into the backseat, I rest my head against the cool glass of the window, watching the droplets race each other down the pane.
I try to push away the events of the day, to not let the accusations and the rejection seep into my bones, but it’s a losing battle. The weight of it all presses down on me, and I feel my shoulders slump under the burden.
A deep sigh escapes me, a sound of weariness and longing. Why couldn’t my life be simpler? Why did every path seem to lead to more pain, more heartache? I close my eyes, wishing for a moment of peace, a respite from the chaos that seems to follow me like a shadow.