Cara ran to Adonis as he broke down. She took him in her arms as his shoulders were trembling seriously, but a sound couldn’t be heard from him-just occasional heaves and groans.
He cried.
She cried.
They cried, and when her crying died down, he continued. It was like he had an entire bucket of tears in reserve and wanted to empty it.
His continued tears triggered another round for her, and she cried again. It took a while for either of them to stop.
Now, they were cuddled up against each other. Adonis had his head on her chest. For the first time in days, he looked less tensed.
Cara wondered how long he’d been going around with so many unshed tears.
They lay awake in silence, enjoying the sound of drizzling rain that had begun sometime during their outpour. She was giving him time. Time to collect his words and prepare himself to speak. It was, after all, new to him.
Opening up to someone that is…
When he finally spoke up, it wasn’t what she expected.
“You’re still without clothes.”
She already had a programmed reply, ‘I’m here, Adonis,’ and her lips parted to pass them across when the words registered in her head.
“What?”
Adonis moved his hand to her chest, and he tugged at it.
“You’re still without clothes.” He repeated.
Cara snorted. “You’re such a guy.”
He didn’t say anything else; the silence took over once more. Maybe he needed a nudge. Some encouragement, Cara thought, so she spoke.
“You know I’m here, Adonis. I’m here for you. You can talk to me.
He exhaled heavily.
“I don’t know where to start. It’s like I don’t have the right words. I don’t know how to do this.”
She placed her hand on his chest.
“You’re doing well. How about you tell me when it all began?” Cara encouraged, and he exhaled heavily once more.
“I was six years old. I can remember it clearly because I’ve had nightmares about that day for years. I think my subconscious believes it all originated from that day.” Adonis paused in deep thought, then continued.
“It was in the early hours of the morning. I had come down with a cold the previous day, so I went to bed early. I woke up that morning feeling better, and I went in search of my father. He was my everything, you know? I had the best father in the world; my mother wasn’t always there, but he was. I found him going down a corridor. I called him, but he didn’t listen, so I decided to go after him. I shouldn’t have gone, Cara.”
Adonis sat up, and Cara rubbed his arm in comfort.
“It’s alright. You can tell me.”
“I saw my mother. Her hands were against the wall, and my personal guard was balls deep inside her. I didn’t completely understand what was going on. But she saw me. She smiled, and her eyes were extremely red, and as a child, I never knew she was stoned. My father turned and saw me standing, watching with wide eyes, and he became so furious. It was the first time he ever hit me.”
“The first time?” The question was out of Cara’s mouth before she knew it, and Adonis gave a cold chuckle.
“Oh, there were many more beatings after that. But he was so angry, I didn’t know why. He dragged me around, screamed at me, hit me so hard, and I was so confused. I thought I had done something extremely terrible. I had never been on the end of my father’s anger. It wasn’t until he saw fear in my eyes that it dawned on him that I was clueless about his behavior. He comforted me, and I thought that was the end. I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
Cara pulled her legs to her chest as she listened intently.
“It turned out that my mother had been cheating on him for a while. She’d slept with practically all his men, but he was turning a blind eye to it. He loved her so much and wasn’t ready to admit that she was wrong. But I already saw it all, and then the guards started murmuring about it. Even as a child, the frequent gossip started to become clear to me, so I confronted my father about it.”
Adonis closed his eyes in pain, as though it were a recent memory.
“He hit me so hard, I passed out. All he kept on saying was, ‘Your mother is not a whore’, ‘your mother loves you,’ your mother this, your mother that. The beatings continued frequently after that; whenever he heard something he didn’t like, he’d claim I told everyone and beat me up. Broken ribs, broken arms-I lost count of them all. I didn’t know why he was behaving that way. Everyone could see how she whored herself around; she’d slept with the entire house, but he still wasn’t ready to admit it. I should’ve known my father had already gone crazy.”
“What of your grandfather? Where was he when it was all happening?” Cara asked.
“Nonno had just lost his wife; he was grieving, so he stayed alone. I never knew my mother was a junkie, and he had warned my father not to marry her. But my father was so in love that he believed he could help her. You know it’s a miracle I was even born sane. They caught her taking stuff more than once whilst she was pregnant with me.” Adonis gulped.
It was the most he had spoken in a long time, so he had to pause to catch his breath.
“Then, one day, I think one of the men challenged him and mocked him about how he was sleeping with my mother; I’m not too sure as I was being homeschooled. I remember the murderous look he had in his eyes when he came into my room and ordered my tutor to get out. It was the outset of introducing tools. He used a knife on me. He was raging and commented on how I caused it, and then he brought out a knife.”
Adonis turned his back towards Cara.
“You see that rose tattoo in between my back? I got it to cover the scar.”